Let’s get on with the Live show.
Let me just start off by saying that I’m not going to come off as angry in this blog/recap. I decided to hold back my feelings for CBS and just move forward with what is transpiring. Whatever that may be. I decided that this is what Big Brother is all about. It’s meant to be just be fun and to be some trashy reality competition show we watch every summer, so I’m going to allow myself to be a little less angry! Plus, it’s bright and early on a Friday morning, and who wants to start off their weekend pissed off?!?
I guess I should start this by being thankful I even have a weekend! I almost died last night. So, I’m at the softball fields last night (I do scorekeeping for the park district as a second gig to help earn me money – having kids and a wife is NOT cheap these days), minding my own business, taking a lazy stroll back to my car in between games, to put something in my front seat so I don’t forget it. As I’m doing this, I’m looking down at my phone, reading something, not paying attention to what is in front of me because I’ve made this walk hundreds of times and know where I’m going. But, as I see a tree (out of the corner of my eye), I move a little to the left to avoid making an @ss out of myself by ramming right into it, but I still feel something brush against my leg. I turn around quick and see a raccoon hanging on the side of that tree like it was just some big @ss squirrel, bushy tail and all. I don’t know what part of the raccoon touched me, but it freaked me the f*ck out! I always thought they were nasty, vile creatures, who were scared off quickly. Not the case. This a-hole looked right in my eyes and basically said “Do something, fool.” He jumped off the tree and literally just stood there. He (I say he, because I don’t want to be a pussy and admit I was scared of a she) sniffed around a little, walked a little bit closer to me and I scurried my @ss to my car. Now, I took the long way back to my seat, making sure to not get in his way, because I’m pretty sure in my old age, his little @ss can outrun me. But, he didn’t go anywhere. It was about five minutes later when he started moseying himself on down near where I sit. He got within 20 feet, 10 feet, 5 feet, and finally was about 2 feet away from where I sit, getting ready to check out the garbage can. Personally, I have never seen a raccoon get into a garbage can before. I always assumed they either knocked the cans down first or they climbed nearby fences and bungee jumped down into them, you know, without the bungee and all. But, nope, this wolverine climbed up the metal garbage can like I unzip my pants to go to the bathroom. It was that easy. And, it was at that very moment I decided I never wanted to feel a raccoon’s nails on my skin! Longer story long (I know, I never know how to make a story short), he hung out right next to me the entire night, we became best friends, I gave him my address, promised him I’d leave my dogs out at night so he could f*ck with them (my Dachshund thinks he’s tough), we shot the sh*t about how terrible these 30-year old’s are at softball and how sad it is that they are spending money to suck so bad, and then I left. Good times.
Now, that I got that out of the way, we can move on to the travesty that was the live episode.
Julie talks.
Still, with the 5-minute recaps of the previous episode, where we learn that Ashley “DID IT!!” Yes, Ashley, you DID IT! You earned your way off the block with all that hard work you did last week! No, dipsh*t, Shane did it! You are worthless in this game. You’re not worthless to me, anymore, because I find you hilariously stupid, but inside the Big Brother house you are worthless, and you did absolutely nothing to help yourself. Well, I shouldn’t say that, keep telling stories about the spiritual world because that is exactly what is keeping you in this game. People roll their eyes at you and pretend you don’t even talk after you do talk. You’re doing great. Penn State is already grieving their reputation as a fine institution for higher education, and you are NOT helping matters.
Frank tells Boogie that he kind of already knew he might be going up and Boogie explains to him that might have been something he wanted to share with Boogie. With how this game is going, I have to agree with Boogie here. I think Frank is coming off kind of stupid, as well. Maybe not intelligent-wise, but game-wise. He has no social game, really. He doesn’t want to “bother” people, he doesn’t want to campaign, he is just sitting back and expecting everyone to live up to what they tell him the first time and then he’s just going to continue working out and half-wearing hats! Had he told Boogie what Shane told him, I’m very convinced Boogie would have been able to talk with Shane and Britney and smooth things over, giving Frank a better chance at not being nominated. Maybe Boogie could have struck a deal to have Ian go up in Ashley’s place and not Frank. Frank needs to step it up here, otherwise he’s going to get steamrolled.
I don’t want to say this in a rude way, but I think Ian might have some form of autism. He just has weird movements, he walks differently (I’ll have to see if he walks on his tip-toes or balls of his feet), does strange things with his head and arms/hands when he walks and is standing still. I don’t know, but I think that could explain a lot of things about his behavior. It’s just a thought, not really based on anything except an educated guess.
Boogie and Frank talk with Ian about his comments, and tell him he can’t give “Magic 8 Ball” answers when people ask him questions. I will have Frank know that “Yes” and “No” are both Magic 8 Ball answers, so you might want to check your facts before you try and make some funny analogical joke.
The “big” drama in the house this week was between Wil and Janelle. It was about the only thing that happened other than Shane going back on his word to Frank. It was a boring week and I almost have to believe the producers talked Wil into being upset with Janelle, because I’m not even sure where Wil With One L was coming from with this anger. I get that Janelle said he should thank her for still being in the house, but she wasn’t taking it as far as Wil was saying she was with how he thinks she meant she is doing everything for her, he is worthless, etcetera etcetera etcetera. At the same time, though, someone should tell Wil that she is right! She has won two straight coaches’ competitions and both times has used the save on Wil. Guess what Wil, that means SHE HAS SAVED YOU from being nominated/evicted! She was telling you that they view you as a threat and wanted to backdoor you, and by her saving you with the coaches save, she saved you in the game. You being upset and thinking you did all the work yourself is just plain idiotic and reeks of producer intervening. You can just hear the producers in his diary room sessions being like, “So Janelle was in here earlier talking about how she had to go and save you again since you can’t do anything for yourself.” This drama was so pointless.
Wil makes the rounds, tells Joe he hates Janelle, Joe tells Ashley, Joe’s lazy @ss then tells Ashley to go get Janelle so he can tell her, Joe tells Janelle, Janelle doesn’t care but says she’ll talk to Wil, whatever. I’m also glad that CBS showed us that Janelle was faking that whole scene. Before they went into that room to talk, they were talking to each other in the bathroom, and they agreed to go in the Arcade Room to talk privately, but Wil wanted to go pee first. As he was going pee, Janelle stuffed some tissue in her back pocket because she was planning on giving up some fake tears. Her “performance” was TERRIBLE! “Oh, let me get this tissue I just happen to have in my back pocket.” Geez. As if Wil was going to buy that anyway. I can’t even believe I’m writing about this right now. I feel like this is the worst episode of the season so far. But, in CBS’ defense, NOTHING happened this week, so I know it had to be hard to cut this episode.
I have never laughed so hard!! That is some funny shit about the raccoon! I wouldn’t mess with one of them critters either, might get rabies…..
If the new contestants were smart they would start picking off all the coaches, otherwise they are all in trouble. But I agree with you, Britney has become so much more likeable, doesn’t seem like such a twit now.
I’m so glad me almost dying brought such enjoyment to your day! 🙂
Something I forgot to mention in my blog was the dynamic of Britney now. I really was liking her as a coach, but think I’m going to end up not liking her as much as a player, seeing as how she might be joking around less, now that she has to plot and scheme to save herself…this could be troubling.
Your whole commentary about Danielle becoming a Stage 5 Clinger after kissing Shane and the producers having to hide every knife in the house made me DIE of laughter…and I’m at work in a quiet office, thanks a lot 😛
I think it would have been way more entertaining if they had let the coaches enter the game if they wanted to, but not make all of them. That way we’d have a weird mix of “teams” and individuals, which could make the strategy really interesting. Boogie’s completely toast now.
I agree that CBS dropped the ball with that decision. I, too, think it would have added such a strong dynamic to the house if there were players, veterans, and one coach still left standing. Who would the players vote to get out: the veterans or Boogie’s players? Every conversation Boogie had after that would have been classic, because nobody would have wanted to tell him diddly dick! 🙂
As for Danielle, if you thought she was a Stage 5 Clinger before, just wait until you know more about some things happening now and we’re going to have to create a whole new category of Clinger-ness for her…
This was BY FAR your best blog ever. I was holding in my laughter as best as I could. 🙂 “Frank’s bushy haired butthole…” LOL.
I also agree that the coaches should have been able to decide IF they wanted back in the game or not, as individuals and not forced to enter if only one person said yes. That would have created a better dynamic-
Still my favorite reality competition show-no matter what.
And you are still my favorite Big Brother blogger… 🙂
I didn’t get Shane and the lint roller thing either? What was the point of that? And the pink tank top – I’m all for guys wearing pink – but it was more the cut of the tank top that disturbed me more than anything – it was rather feminine. Or maybe I’m not up to date on men’s tank tops and its the new style. I guess he could have went with Wil’s styling and wore a little pink speedo with a blazer…I am glad he took off his 90’s shell necklace though. Probably was worried it would give him tan lines – that guy has a wicked tan going. Looking at him next to Ian now is rather funny.
I think the coaches – and Britney in particular – getting better is just a result of time – I think it took some time for everyone to get to know one another, get use to the game (the coaches would have had a leg up on that one), build some trust, and get to know strengths and weaknesses. Now that the coaches have spent enough time – they can really start to be effective. So I honestly don’t think they are better than they use to be – we don’t have anything to compare it to, to be able to judge that. But Britney is surprising me from what I expected – but like you said, she has only one person to concentrate on.
Also – I don’t know if Dan did the right coaching thing with Danielle. I think he is use to coaching guys, not girls, and that might be a good thing to say to guys, but I don’t think it was a good thing to say to her. Okay – let me clarify – the message itself I agree with, but it was the delivery that was not right for her. If Danielle was a different type of female – like Janelle – she might have responded well to Dan’s first strategy of throwing her in the deep end to swim, or this strategy of telling her to lay off the emotion. But, I think its a mistake b/c he doesn’t get her personality – she needs some support, some hand holding, and really subtle guidance, I don’t think she will respond well to his comments. I think by him saying that, she will fight that much harder to do the opposite – and want to cling to Shane more (which sounds like this is what she’s doing). She seems like a smitten teenager – and as most parents know, as soon as you tell your girl they shouldn’t see that boy, she’s gonna sneak out of the house to prove you wrong, and go see that boy. I think Dan’s fundamental mistake was picking all girls for his team – I actually don’t mind Dan – but he’s used to coaching guys, not girls, and I honestly think he has no idea how to do so.
Oh – and Scott, I think you might want to rethink having Juggles as your life coach, haha. He might make you and your wife breakfast it bed – but he’d make you get up to eat it at 5am, and shout ‘EAT THIS PEAR, ITS RIPE!….BRUSH YOUR TEETH FOR 3 MINUTES SCOTT’ haha. I’m pretty sure you’d have a massive headache from all his help!
I am starting to think, Cndgirl, that you’re a lot like me and you like to disagree with people just to disagree, play Devil’s Advocate a little! 🙂 With my entire comment about Dan, I am 100% right. When you are a coach, all you can do is coach. You don’t get to play. So, all you can tell your players is the right thing to do, what they then do with that information is on them. Dan may not have said the words he needed to say, in the right tone, in the right way, but he said the right words. Whether or not she listens is on her. So, Dan was still making a good coaching move, but Danielle is such a crappy player that she’s not going to pay attention. She’s a smitten girl, and like you said, no matter what a smitten girl is told, she’s not going to listen. Especially when the guy she’s smitten over keeps “messing” with her head. You girls just never listen, so as a girl, yourself, I’d expect you to take the girls side and say that Dan needs to coddle her more, hold her hand, etc, when you and I (and everyone else) know that it still won’t matter, because the next time Shane goes and looks at Danielle, she’s back to being smitten. 🙂
As for you, Christine0622, I love you.
Okay…yep…maybe a little 🙂 but in a fun-debate kind of way! It’s an interesting way to learn and get different perspectives…
Hmmm – you do have a point about no matter what he says she probably won’t listen, so maybe he did need to take the hard line. It might be the right thing to say – problem is, he won’t end up accomplishing what he needs or wants to accomplish that way. He won’t have a chance. He might of at least had a chance a different way – but it does take longer and one doesn’t have much time in the BB house, so maybe that wouldn’t work either. And – well I don’t consider myself a stereotypical female, so you might be making an assumption there about whose side I’d take (I would have tried to get a team of all guys to coach if it was me – as I’m not much into drama – much more into logic) 🙂
Have you noticed how Frank blinks? It literally takes him five seconds to complete each blink.
The whole Ian/Britney conversation made me think of a movie I’m sure Ian has seen. Ghostbusters pointed out that “if someone asks if you are a God, YOU SAY YES!” Just like if an HOH’s coach asks if their player will be safe next week.
Hahaha, nice Ghostbusters reference!! Love it. Wish I had come up with that one. 🙂
As for Ian, this guy keeps talking about how he wants to masturbate in the HOH room when he wins…he even mentioned it during the competition last night! Total creeper.
Also, Cndgirl, if I had a penny for every girl who told me she wasn’t the “stereotypical girl,” I’d be a pretty rich man! 🙂 I’m not lumping EVERY girl into the same category, but I’m just sayin’ 🙂
Not sure whether it’s kosher to talk about who won the HOH yesterday, so I won’t … but I will say it’s a game-changer for at least the coming week.
Funny, Scott, that you mentioned Ian’s seeming inability to be still and his toe-walking as I was struck by that again last night, too. I think he has (mild) tourettes syndrome. One of my family members has 3 kids who all have it & Ian reminds me of them, from the odd walking gait/toe-walking to the social awkwardness to the inappropriate comments.
I have to admit I was pi$$ed off at BB bringing the coaches into the game, but I’m over it. I think it will make things much more interesting.
Frankly (<— see what I did there?), I was cheering when Dan tried to tell Danielle to pull her head out of her ass … or out of Shane's ass. Shane is going to play Danielle big-time & she's cruising for a world of heartache.
My prediction is that Janelle will be one of the players to be put up for eviction this coming week. That may just be wishful thinking on my part – I can't stand her.
Which reminds me: I'm convinced one of the BB camera operators has a permanent boner over Janelle. TWICE in the After Dark programming last week, when Jannelle's back was to the camera, he panned the camera from her feet aaallllll the way up her body (lingering on her butt); and this week, when she took a bath in the HOH bathroom (by the way, although she had a bikini on, when she came out of the change area to get into the bathtub she had a nip-slip, which I'm sure made the cameraman experience a nocturnal emission), again the camera panned her entire body, starting at her feet aaalllll the way up her body, this time lingering on her bosom. Wow.
Hey, maybe Ian was manning the camera! (Joke!)
I'm really enjoying your recaps, Scott. Stay away from dangerous wildlife.
Cheers to all.
That’s really creepy if the cameramen are doing that. Ew. Makes you wonder with all that footage they have, if they ever take any home for themselves…double ew.
LMAO @ finding Jimmy Hoffa’s body and carrying it around – LOL – hilarious recap.
I don’t mind the coaches joining the competition, really, but here’s what I wanted to go differently:
An eviction this week
&
Let whichever coaches wanted to join join and whoever didn’t (Boogie) remain as a coach.
Shane’s pink tank top is cut just the same as Ryan’s white one on “The Bachelorette” (like some kind of woman’s undershirt!).
Although, nevermind, if Boogie was the only one to remain as coach there wouldn’t be a coaches’ competition anymore. 😀 But it would have been interesting if most of the coaches wanted to remain as coaches!
Jeepers Jumping Jackrabbits! Is there any way to contact the BB producers and have them ask Joe to stop PICKING at himself?!?!
It’s a damned good thing they edit it out of the broadcast, but on the After Dark programming Joe demonstrates a very serious problem with PDS (Personal Dirt Syndrome).
He picks his nose constantly; or scratches his nose/ears/face; or reaches over his back and squeezes/scratches whatever zits or other growths he may be incubating there …
THEN he looks at whatever he has produced through his picking, and, even worse …
HE CLEANS whatever is caught under his fingernails with his TEETH!
Holy cr*p, it’s SO gross!!