Again, I digress. I thought it was another lame episode, so I need to digress, otherwise this recap would be two paragraphs and maybe a drawing of a penis, Superbad style. If you don’t know what I mean, PLEASE go see Superbad.
Anyways, next up, we had the Luxury competition. They walked out into the backyard and saw a red carpet and everyone was assuming a celebrity would be coming out from behind the curtain. Adam just about creamed his pants thinking it was going to be Tori Spelling. Quick note, Adam, she does NOT find you attractive. Sorry. I don’t even know if her finding you attractive should be a compliment.
Some random guy walked out and these idiots clapped anyways, pretending they were excited to see this guy even though they had no clue as to who he was. He explained that he was not the celebrity, but had the same name as one. Clues would come out and they would have to guess who this celebrity was. The first clue was three bars of soap and some old-looking binoculars. And, from that, Jordan (of all people) worked out David Hasselhoff. Uh, what?!? I almost wish I didn’t already know it was David Hasselhoff, because I would have loved to play along. But, since I had previously seen commercials about this show, I knew it was him. But, even with how smart I like to think I am, I still don’t think I would have come anywhere near guessing David Hasselhoff with those clues. I think this is another place where production had to have stepped in and purposely started some drama. No way she guessed that answer with those clues.
The other guesses were ridiculous, but I can’t say mine wouldn’t have been either, so I’ll give everyone a reprieve. Except for Porsche. Although, I can’t really make fun of her since we later found out her answer was actually Brendon’s answer that he told Rachel, who then told Porsche, who then guessed it! But, come on, Michael Jackson?!? I get that the mic stand makes this person a “singer,” but you would have to think that whoever the celebrity is, they’d PROBABLY HAVE TO BE ON THE SHOW THE HOST OF THE COMPETITION JUST TOLD YOU ABOUT THAT WAS AIRING ON LIVE TV!!!! So, that should have told you the motherf*cker would need to be alive! Let’s be a little bit brighter here. Sorry if that came off mean. It’s tough going cold turkey trying to work through withdrawal. My drug of choice was Cassi. I need my fix.
David Hasselhoff shows up in the backyard wearing pants that teenagers would wear. Come on, man, aren’t you like 60 (I just looked it up and he’s 59). Dress a little more age appropriate. Since Jordan was the only one to guess correctly, she gets to choose three other houseguests to go upstairs and watch the “Same Name” show featuring David Hasselhoff. She chooses Jeff, Shelly, and Kalia. Kalia?!? Really, Jordan. Best part about Kalia being chosen is that even while there were only four people in the HOH room watching the show, I don’t think they ever showed Kalia. Maybe one scene where she was excited about sushi, but that was it.
But, let’s think about this now. This is where I think production stepped in and told her not to choose Rachel. Not choosing Brendon would have been fine, but everyone knew if Jordan didn’t pick Rachel, she’d be pissed. And she was. And, for 20 minutes, that is all CBS fed us. It was painful. I understand where Rachel is coming from in her thoughts of feeling weirded out by not being chosen and Jordan actually choosing Kalia, but to get so upset to the point where you discussing that being their “second strike” and then wanting to put them up is a little absurd. But, seriously Jordan, you had to know that would piss her off and you just got done talking about how she only plays this game with her emotions, so what do you think would happen? CBS had to have put her up to it. Had to.
I can’t believe you didn’t mention the best moment of last night’s episode!!! Jeff’s face and comment after Rachel talked about her sister’s engagement was PRICELESS.
Also, I wouldn’t be so sure on Dani. SPOILER ALERT: Brendan, Rachel, Jeff, and Jordan have caught onto her scheming in the past few days and have completely turned against her. As of the last night, they are still sending Dom home and hoping to get Dani out as soon as possible. Obviously, they aren’t telling Dani that right now.
Apparently I am the only person who thinks that Jordan should have back-doored Brendon/Rachel last week. Why on earth would you keep a very strong person/duo in the house, knowing the very next week they could come after you for no other reason than Rachel is just bat-sh*t crazy and capable of anything? It was a very stupid move, at least in my mind.
I really expected Rachel to put Jeff / Jordan up, but she didn’t. However, it’s still a possibility given who won the POV.
Speaking of Jeff / Jordan, I don’t think they’re even a real couple. They’ve been together for what, 3 years? And they haven’t spoken about living in the same state? Do they think the viewers are that ignorant?
I think Jeff / Jordan only exist as a couple in the eyes of CBS. They (CBS) know that a lot of the viewers like them, and that is why they’re now on their 3rd reality show together (as a fake couple). Personally I’m tired of seeing them. Hopefully this is the last we see of them… and Brendon and Rachel too. Just seeing Rachel on the TV screen makes me feel the need for a penicillin injection.
@Nobody- My mom asked me if Jeff and Jordan are in a relationship because we never see them hugging or kissing (although during the screening last episode, she was stroking his leg while he laid on her). Also, when they showed the whole farting thing between Jeff and Jordan, my mom said they act more like brother and sister.
Scott, I thought it was interesting when Dana said she was Dom’s “best friend.” In my opinion, straight guys and girls cannot just be “best friends” after the age of 12. Although, since Dom is a virgin, I guess their relationship is more plausible.
I agree. These “newbies” suck (and so does the word “newbies”). I enjoy Lawson’s diary room comments but we don’t get to see him at all outside of that. Then there is Kalia, who brings absolutely NOTHING to the game. I think she has a skewed perception of herself. I do like Shelly. Although, am I the only one that thought she was a lesbian when they first introduced her? Dom, for being looking, is a complete dork. He got SOO excited when they first formed their alliance. At least now he acknowledges that it is (was?) the worst alliance ever! However, the “newbies” don’t get much of a chance because of all the strong returning people (and I guess I’m the only one that LIKES Rachel and Brendan? I am really competitive and emotional like Rachel).
Nobody Says….Jeff and Jordan are indeed a couple…if you watched Around The World For Free last year on CBS.com then you would have seen how many times he called her and called her “Love”…Jeff lives in Illinois and Jordan is still going to school in North Carolina…I sincerely hope one of them wins and do believe that one day they will marry.
Hey Scott ~ enjoying your column! I’m glad you’re part of the RS family!
I did forget about Jeff’s comment regarding Rachel’s engagement, but I think its just because I’m so tired of writing about Rachel.
Also, I noted in my blog how I thought Jordan was stupid for not putting up Brendon and Rachel. I’m with you, ‘nobody.’
I love Jeff and Jordan and without them why would anyone be watching this show still?? Really??
Yes, Jordan should have back-doored Brendon or Rachel (if we could be so lucky maybe if one leaves the other will leave) I just hope that doesn’t come back to bite her in the end!
Most everything that you wrote in your recap is everything I have already thought of. I really wish that they would have another competition where someone would have to wear a ridiculous costume and it would be Rachel. It could improve the sight of her possibly?? Then again probably not!! Big Brother could do us all a favor and just get her a huge pacifier, isn’t that what they normally do to stop babies from crying, or whining. Seriously Brendon, this is all you can get?? I hope and pray that J&J get HOH or Shelly….that’s the only way to stop this madness!!
First chance I have had to read this blog – had me laughing out loud – of course I do hope you are kidding about your puppy dog 🙂
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I keep forgetting Porsche is there – this golden key thing is the stupidest thing BB has ever done IMO.
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‘Anyway, welcome aboard – look forward to reading more posts.
Does anyone think that Evil Dick left the show on purpose to give Danielle the golden key? So she can lay the foundation to fly under the radar and win the whole show? Anyone have spoiler on the veto competition?
Can I also add that do they ever look into the bag from which the names are drawn for participating in the veto competition? First when Rachel is HOH, Jeff/Jordan are picked. Then Jordan is HOH and Rachel/Brendon are picked. Now, Rachel is HOH, and Jeff/Jordan are picked. Wonder if the bag even has anyone else’s name in it? Lawon/Kalia should have been forced to do it since they do NOTHING else! And the golden key people should also have been in the bag so they could at least participate in some way rather than sit on their asses all the time…