Big Brother Recap – 9/21/15

So, I won’t blame you if you don’t bother reading this recap. What a lame episode. I’ll leave a disclaimer here that this is going to be extremely short, considering NOTHING happened worth talking about. I mean, even the flashback scenes were all scenes we’ve already seen before. How lame is CBS for not wanting to do any work and cut film of sh!t we haven’t seen before. Your job isn’t too make your job easier, it’s to keep us entertained. Thanks for not doing your job. But, I still have to do mine, so let’s see what we have here.

Vanessa pretty much thinks she won the game already. She believes both Steve and Liz are going to take her to the final two, and she’s probably right. Although, I do think Steve MIGHT take Liz, just because he assumes he has a better chance of winning against her, which is probably true, even though two votes are automatically not his. Another although, Steve has no chance at winning the game against these two. That’s why he’s such an idiot for being ok about Johnny leaving the game. He was the only one of them that he had a fair chance at winning against. Matter of fact, this final three is the exact reason why he shouldn’t win because he passed up every opportunity to try and get out the people he needed to get out (like Vanessa and Liz) earlier in the game, and leave behind losers like Meg. Oh well, nothing we can do about it now.

And if we needed any clarification on how dense Steve is, all we need to do is look to him saying Johnny would have been “tough to beat” in the final two!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And yes, I put all those exclamation marks just to make this recap a little bit longer than it would be. But, come on Steve, you honestly think Johnny would have been tougher to beat than either Vanessa or Liz?!? Johnny didn’t do sh!t the entire game and nobody cared about his game, so why would that be hard to beat but the girl who orchestrated just about everyone’s eviction is easier? Or the girl who’s won several HoHs and been a part of the power alliance, as well as being a damn twin that didn’t get evicted in a game where houseguests TYPICALLY (not this season though) look for any small reason to evict you? Good one, Steve. I am now rooting for you to get third place. You can collect your stipend, but I in no way feel you deserve any prize money.

Also, Liz, I am now rooting for you to take third place, as well. You WANT to take Vanessa? Do you not want to win the game? I get it that you want to pull a Cody and be stupid and take your friend to the end and let them win money over you, but good Lord, that’s not what Big Brother is about! It’s a game about YOU, not a game about your friends! Where do they find these people? I feel that every season after this should just be poor people. Or lower middle class folks. None of those people are going to knowingly take someone who they know is going to beat them to the final two? Liz……………………………………………Steve can’t win the game over you. You have to know this. You have two guaranteed votes in the jury, but against Steve, you have nine guaranteed votes. I don’t even think Johnny, his Nergasm boytoy, would vote for him over you because even John knows he didn’t do jackdiddly in the game!!!! PLEASE DON’T TAKE LIZ. Oh wait……in order for you to take Liz, you’ll need to win this final HoH. And there’s no chance of you doing that, so you get a pass. Thanks for showing up this year, Liz. Enjoy your semi-productive modeling career after this.

I’ll end this with two scenes that I enjoyed.

First, Steve calling out Vanessa for making a final two with Liz. And Vanessa telling him anything they said is private and she’s not sharing. Uh……coming from you, who bullies everyone else into sharing their entire conversations with other houseguests and if you don’t, you yell and cry at them and call them liars and get them evicted? There’s nothing in this world I hate more than hypocrites and Vanessa is a HUGE one. Again, I respect her for not saying anything because you shouldn’t ever share all of your conversations in this game, but don’t play it up how you’re this big honest person and that you hate when people lie to you and sh!t and then just turn around and do the same thing to everyone else and then play the victim every time something bad comes from it. I do feel she’s the only person that’s worth of winning this season, but just like with Steve and Liz, I’m also now rooting for Vanessa to get third place. Actually, I want them to introduce the rewind button in this finale and have Janelle come back and press it, starting the game all over again so none of these f*ckturds can win that money. Enjoy your CBS poker show and the $500,000 check that you probably already cashed before the season even started…I only hate you because I’m not you. Come on, CBS, put me on the show and tell me that I’m going to win the game before it even starts. I’ll be ratings GOLD! Promise.

The last one I enjoyed was when Steve toasted to the ‘Scamper Squad’ and both Vanessa and Liz were like “Oh yeah, the Scamper Squad. I forgot we made that ‘alliance’ and you were in it, Steve. Yeah, congrats to us!” That was priceless. If Steve were truly picking up on signs throughout this entire season, he’d need nothing more than that to know he’s been played the entire way. But again, he’s dense and an idiot and he, like everyone else, was just happy to make it to jury. Lame final three.

And oh hey, guess what we don’t get to see?!? That’s right……..who wins the first round of the final HoH!!! Come on, like it’s that important. There are still two more rounds you have to show us. You show us 50 minutes of that horsesh!t, but you couldn’t stop that short about 10 minutes to play us 20 minutes of the first round and who wins. I mean, all of the websites have who has won the first and second rounds of the final HoH, so why can’t you show us what 75% of the people watching already know?!? Why put us through all of that crap and not give us a good pay off at the end? And Julie Chen is doing interviews wondering why they’ve never won an Emmy. Are you kidding me, Julie? Do you even watch this show? There’s no way in the world you’re ever winning an Emmy for ANYTHING. There’s no aspect of this show that is better than any other reality TV show.

Anyway, I’m sorry for this lazy recap, but they gave me nothing to go on. This is not my fault. We got one more episode to go. One more blog to go. And then I’m out of your lives again. I know you’re all broken up about it, but that’s the way she goes boys!! If anyone can tell me the name of the show that phrase is known from, I’ll love you forever…

Back on Thursday…

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