Written by:
Scott Ottersen
Email: ScottOttersen@yahoo.com
Facebook: http://facebook.com/ScottOttersen
First off, I wanted to say that today is a sad day. According to the comments from my first blog, I have lost Tiffany_Michelle as a reader. I am truly heartbroken to see her go, but considering she thought Dan was the greatest player ever to play the game, I think I’ll be ok. Look, the guy played against the likes of Renny, Jerry’s old Motorboatin’ ass, Libra, Ollie, and April’s flatter than the flattest ass. That season should be stricken from the record of Big Brother.
Ok, now that I got that off my chest, I feel better and more prepared to watch this episode of Big Brother. It started off with a recap of last Thursday’s show. I always hate how Big Brother does this, because it seems as if they do it just because they want to waste the first 5 minutes of each show, so they don’t have to do as much work in the editing room. We all remember what happened on the last episode. Seriously, this show is on 3 nights a week, we remember seeing it. Thanks for the recap.
After the recap ended, they kept on talking about how important the Golden Key is. Why, I don’t know, but apparently just because there is a Golden Key, people WANT to be put up on the block?!? These idiots did hear that it was only good until there were 10 players left, right? Probably not, because everyone pretended like this Golden Key took them all the way. Hey, you want to know how you can make it to the top 10…DON’T GET PUT UP FOR EVICTION!!!! This is why this show has to be easy to win for anyone who is halfway intelligent. If the guy who said he worked with “retards” (his words, not mine) can end up winning the show and then get busted running an ecstasy “business,” then God knows I would wipe the floor with these morons.
Of course, Brendon and Rachel took offense to this Golden Key, because it was the ultimate tool for a floater, and we all know how much Rachel hates floaters! But, now, so does Brendon, because he has to think the same as Rachel. Apparently, he still drinks from her breasts.
Dick, ever the strategist had a conversation with his daughter, Daniele, trying to explain that they (the 6 returning houseguests) needed to bring one of the newbie duos over to their side. Of course, that’s the obvious strategy, but at least Dick seemed to be the only one thinking it. Jeff and Jordan are too busy being in their own world and Brendon and Rachel are too busy discussing plastic surgery. Seriously, Rachel, don’t you start talking bad about Cassi. Just because she’s prettier than you doesn’t mean she got that way because she had a nose job and botox. Not everyone needs doctors to be attractive to men. And, yes, no matter what Brendon tells you, he thinks she’s hot!
Also, quick comment, Porsche described herself as the prettiest girl wherever she goes, in the first episode, but I have to tell you, honey, that you obviously weren’t adhering to that code when you decided to wear that puke green plush jumpsuit when you were having that sitdown with your partner, Keith. And, I’m pretty sure Keith decided to turn on you the second you showed up with that big ass pimple on your face. He took you to prom, you didn’t sleep with him, and you woke up the next morning with a big pimple…yeah, he was done with you before he finished brushing his teeth.
Wait, did Jordan just fart? Funny and all, but still considerably unattractive. Especially with the whole “cooking in the oven” sequence afterwards.
Rachel breaks out of the diary room wearing an “I (heart) my hubby” shirt and I almost gag. There is no way I could put up with this broad for longer than 3 minutes. And, it would only last those 3 minutes because she would have to have her top off. Otherwise, she has about 30 seconds before I puke all over her in disgust.
But, the houseguests all share some “HOH butt-kissing time” with Rachel in her new HOH room. It’s your typical HOH room. The fish tank, a couch, a bed, a bathroom, 10 pictures or so of the HOH as a kid and a basket of goodies from home. Everyone congratulates Rachel on winning and is basically there just to save face and not get on her bad side.
After settling down in her room and all the newbies leaving, Rachel, Brendon, Dick, and Daniele discuss what their strategy for the week should be. Dick tells Brenchel about his plan to bring one team over from their side. He has to explain himself further to Brendon, who isn’t quite thinking along the same gamepath, and the editing seemed to have left it open as to what the group was deciding to do. I think they all agreed to try and bring one of the teams over, but never really sealed it.
Oh My God…tell CBS to take the cameras off of Brendon and Rachel. This conversation about how Rachel is the best looking woman ever and doesn’t need to alter her body is killing me. Literally. I’m getting closer to death every second that passes. I do not believe that I am anybody important to tell anybody else that they should or should not get work done to their body, but I agree that Rachel needs some work in the facial area. Not looking too hot. And, give up the red hair too. That stopped working for you the second you dyed it.
The screen jumps to a shot of Cassi without makeup. My wife’s response is that she is disgusting and ugly. This may be the last time I mention my wife. She’s completely out of line here. How dare you!
After Cassi put makeup back on, she decided to join forces with Dom, Lawon, and Keith to become what Dom coined “The Regulators.” Mount up. But, they lost me with the pinky swear promise thing they did at the end. Although, if Cassi holds her hand out, I’m most likely going to put my hand on top of hers, even if it makes me look ridiculous, so whatever works Regulators.