To truly start off the show, we get Porsche and Keith talking about how the other one is going home and we also get to see them sit down and talk with each other. Keith tries to feed her some crap about if she stays in the house, she should keep her head up and that she’s a good person and blah, blah, blah. Porsche calls him out for lying and basically tells him that she hates him.
Hey, Cassi makes an appearance early on in tonight’s show, with Dom and Lawon, discussing getting Porsche out because she thinks she’s with the vets and that Keith will be loyal. She also later discusses that it would be good to keep Keith because of all the drama he’s stirred up so far withthe houseguests and a target would be permanently on his back once the Golden Key shield is lifted.
Big Brother then gives us an inside look at this “Big Booty” game, without anyone explaining exactly what it is. We just get a scene of them banging on the table, calling out “Big Booty,” Jeff doing a booty dance and pretending to feed Jordan something or the other. Then, they give us a view of all the houseguests playing kitchen utensil instruments on the backyard couch while Rachel attempts to freak dance. Unsuccessful. I guess all that time in the club didn’t help your rhythm.
After that scene, my favorite portion of the episode was next. Brendon becomes irate at Rachel for calling him “Bookey” (sp?) in front of the other houseguests and making him feel like a loser. He then went ahead and made himself look like a loser, so mission not accomplished there, Brendon. Don’t go and throw a temper tantrum because your fiancée calls you a special name in front of other people in her attempt to “demasculinate” you. I absolutely loved the fact that these two doctor-level geniuses were throwing this term around like it meant something. It’s just ‘emasculate.’ That is the term you are looking for. I’m sure they taught you that somewhere along your 20 years of school so far, Brendon. What a major douche. I don’t even know what to say about him anymore. You are acting like a woman who has been demasculinated. Man up.
And we’re back from commercial as the Chenbot studies her note cards. What could possibly be written on those cards? I happen to believe she just has her assistant write the amount she’s paid to “host” this show, so she can continually look down at it and laugh inside that she makes that kind of money to do nothing. A little effort here, Julie, please.
Why does CBS think we want to see Brenchel arguing and making up every episode? We don’t give a sh*t. Really, I’m being serious. At this point, I wouldn’t even care if Rachel argued while topless.
Next, we get the scene I spoke about earlier where Jeff mentioned “Jeff’s Jerkoffs” on the live feeds, but CBS only showed it as him allowing Adam to name their alliance, thinking it would appease him and make his more loyal since he’s such a huge fan of the show. And, so what does this “superfan” come up with: Adam’s Angels. What the f*ck? Are you serious? Who are you, Keith? You want to be in an alliance with Jeff and Brendon, and call it Adam’s Angels? Come on CBS, are you serious with this guy? The only thing missing from that scene was Adam wearing his Veto competition host outfit while smothering himself in bacon grease while Pantera blasted in the background. For all that don’t know, Pantera is a heavy metal group. Probably the only one I know of.
Oh, one thing from that scene, Daniele kind of looked good in her bikini. I must say.
Next is the scene where Cassi tells everyone that Keith would be good to keep because of his drama. But, this part of the show is important only because CBS nearly crushed my spirit by showing Cassi actually smoking a cigarette. Thank you for not showing her taking a puff. That would have killed it for me (well, for a second at least). I’m just going to pretend that her hand was smoking because she’s just that damn hot!
Chenbot then talks to the houseguests about Dick NOT returning to the show and that he has a message for them. He says he left because of an emergency, but doesn’t go into detail. He says he misses them all and wishes he could have spent the summer with Daniele since that is the only time they seem to get along. Dani, seemingly, wants no part in this message until Julie puts her on the spot, asking her if she loves her dad! Dani responds accordingly, by saying “that’s awkward.” Which it was. I find a lot of the times Julie’s questions to the group are awkward. More so in the delivery than anything. I understand it’s difficult sometimes to interview people, but I have no clue how this woman does it FOR A LIVING!
And, what the hell is Lawon wearing? A two-colored plaid blazer with a bowtie in the middle of his dress shirt (which was later revealed to be a damn necklace)? I think he gave up on that whole “if they want me to be straight, I’ll be straight” strategy. But, much props for the attempt. I do like people who try to change the views of “style.” That just didn’t work is all.