BIG BROTHER – 8/15/11

Written by:
Scott Ottersen
Email: ScottOttersen@yahoo.com
Facebook: http://facebook.com/ScottOttersen

I wanted to start this blog off by saying that it almost never happened. As I’ve said before, I record the episodes on my DVR (still the best invention of my lifetime and probably always will be unless someone can invent a cloning machine) and watch them back later in the night, so I don’t have to watch commercials, and also because it’s impossible to concentrate on a TV show when you have an 18 month old running around. For some reason, I went and looked at what was playing on CBS at 7:05 and I saw that 60 Minutes was still on and so it was by sheer luck that I realized that I needed to tape the show later because something ran long during the day (ended up being stupid golf which nobody cares about now that Tiger Woods isn’t raping 18 year old cocktail waitresses…hmm, Porsche is from FL and Tiger lives in FL; could it be?!?). But, that brings me to something I’d like to know…why the hell is 60 Minutes so important that it NEEDS to run the full 60 minutes each Sunday. Can’t you put it on Friday nights or even Saturday? Why Sunday? And, since CBS is a big player in sports entertainment and always shows sporting events on Sunday’s, you would figure they’d have more of a reason to move 60 Minutes. Seriously, who are you going to upset by moving 60 Minutes to Friday night? A few 80 year olds in a senior citizen home that aren’t even paying attention to the show?!? I can’t tell you how many times 60 Minutes has ruined a recorded show for me. I could probably write up my entire blog about how 60 Minutes pisses me off, but I’ve already done enough.

This episode started with Kalia talking about how she felt bad that Lawon left and that she didn’t stick to her original plan of getting Rachel out of the house. I don’t think you should feel bad, sweetheart, I think you should feel like an absolute idiot. You evicted someone who was on your alliance and allowed another member of the opposing alliance back in the game. Now, I know that you didn’t know Brendon was coming back in the house, but this is why you should have listened to someone smarter than you (Daniele) when she kept telling you that you need to go on your gut instinct and get out Rachel, since that was your plan the entire week leading up to your HOH. Although, I will say this about Brendon coming back, I have a feeling it’s going to work out best for Kalia, and possibly even Daniele. If he stays in the game (which he won’t), I think he’d become an ally of Kalia’s. I really do believe that Rachel is frosting up on her vets alliance and wanting more to work with Daniele, and subsequently, Kalia. I see it happening. Whenever a Donato is in the game, they seem to team up with their worst enemy to help further them in the game, and I can see this happening with Rachel and Daniele. I’m going bold right now and saying the final 2 is going to be Rachel and Daniele. Mark it down so that everyone can laugh at me next week when Rachel or Daniele walks out that door.

Adam talks about how he is finally picking a side and moving into the vets alliance. Brilliant strategy to go with the numbers there, Adam. Gee, Brendon comes back in the game, Shelly’s already with them, they now have 5 people on their side, why not become the 6th member, right? Dom hit the nail on the head with this goofball earlier this season when he said he would go wherever the numbers were, even if strategically it was still “smart” for him to straddle the fence. When you play both sides for half of the game, you might as well go the full length instead of stopping halfway and jumping off onto one side. Play the fence and make moves determined by each week’s shift in power. You do this to prevent what ended up happening to you this week. But, I guess you never learned that at West Beverly High. You were probably too busy spiking the punch so Donna Martin couldn’t graduate high school.

I think we made it 3 minutes this episode until our first shot of one of these girls crying. Did Kalia actually cry about America voting Brendon back in the house? Look, we all know it’s a conspiracy and he didn’t actually win that vote, and we all know that your HOH week was the most worthless HOH week in Big Brother history, but did you really need to cry about it? I can’t even really make fun of these girls anymore and all of their crying. I haven’t been a part of this much crying since Julie told us Cassi wasn’t coming back in the house. I cried a lot on the inside for that one. It still stings.

Daniele is talking about how Shelly and Adam are definitely on the other side now and how Porsche has joined “the dark side.” I can’t give Porsche credit for choosing the right move, but for what it’s worth, she did the best thing for her game by quefing herself out of Rachel’s vagina and lodging herself firmly into Daniele and Kalia’s asscracks. At this point in the game, even though the vets have the numbers, they don’t have much power. It should have been completely obvious to every person in the house that Rachel struck a deal with Daniele and Kalia (since they voted for her to stay in the game). With deals, come power in the Big Brother game. And, those deals will probably net Daniele and Kalia safety from what everyone would have to think. So, with that said, it’s almost as if Brendon and Rachel are in their alliance now if they were to win HOH, which then puts the numbers on “ the dark side” of the house. If I were Adam or Shelly, I wouldn’t have been celebrating with Jeff, Jordan, and Brenchel, I would have been consoling Daniele and Kalia, telling them that even if he’s back in the house, “we” still have the numbers to vote him out, so all “we” need to do is win HOH. The HOH wasn’t even determined yet and these two idiots showed their cards. Brilliant game moves. Porsche gets the win here. Porsche, you earned yourself a paragraph off from me making fun of you. Congratulations.

Now, we got to see the HOH competition. I decided to play along with the houseguests. I ended up going out 3rd, but I’m blaming it on not being able to see how big the martini glass was with all the olives in it. I couldn’t see the true diameter of the glass, so I’m blaming my loss on that. Yeah, that’s it. Anyways, I can’t decide as to whether or not this game was scripted or not. I know stuff like this happens in real life competitions all the time, but it just seems so odd that this stuff happens on games like Big Brother, where an entire 6-person alliance are the first 6 people out of an HOH competition. It almost comes to the point where Big Brother needs to step in and “fix” games so as it NOT to look like they are fixing games. Anyways, Daniele wins and I have to say I hated her face when she threw that card after she won. I’m such a competitive person that it truly pisses me off when I see other people win and celebrate their victory with a bush league celebration. I understand you’re the target and you want to be the “bad ass” and show your frustration with everyone by chucking your card away with a mean look on your face, but had I seen that, I would have been pissed. I’m also a sore loser, so that could probably explain things, as well. But, seeing people celebrate like that makes it worse. Although, I’d prefer what she did than Brendon and Rachel dry-humping right after their wins.

After Daniele won, Rachel seemed calm as could be. Almost as if the producers told her that they were going to make sure they kept her safe from nominations. I was expecting her to throw herself a pity party in the style of MTV’s Sweet Sixteen. She’d have sad clowns crying in the background while she cried to the cameras about Daniele winning another HOH. There would be people massaging pimple cream onto her ass cheeks as she cried about how she was still the greatest competitor ever to play the game and how Daniele was just getting lucky. But, instead, all we got was her being calm and telling Brendon she wanted to make another deal with Daniele to put up Shelly. Something is wrong with the world if Rachel is actually making sense and not being overly dramatic about something.

Shelly gets upset at Porsche after hearing Porsche and Kalia whispering crap about her. If you can hear people whispering from another room inside the house, that’s pretty impressive. But, if that’s also the case, then I have to believe that everyone should hear everything and nothing should ever be a secret. The Big Brother house is small enough that everyone should know where everyone is at any time of the day/night. So, the fact that “secrets” can exist and alliances can’t be figured out is ridiculous. I don’t know if I don’t believe that Shelly actually heard them talking or if the house is somewhat bigger than what they show, but something doesn’t add up with all of this. Anyways, Shelly decided to call out Porsche for talking sh*t and Porsche told her she was doing it because she had a final 3 deal with Rachel and Brendon. It’s funny that you can hear someone call you a “piece of sh*t,” justify it by saying it was because she heard you made a final 3 deal in a game, and then end up getting mad at another person for lying about said deal. I don’t know about you, but if someone calls me a piece of sh*t, I’m making them eat a curdled up piece of my sh*t before I decide to let them off for saying that. But, I guess Shelly was hurt by the fact that Rachel “lied.” Shocking update on life, Rachel Reilly is a liar. No way, it just can’t be true that someone in the game of Big Brother actually lied about something (and it wasn’t even too big of a lie since the three of them actually had conversations regarding a final 3 deal).

The excitement that was last night’s episode rolled on with Brenchel talking to Daniele about an offer for 1, 2, 3 weeks, or to even play until the end of the game together (basically a final 3 deal – a lot of final 3 talk in this episode). Rachel tells her to put up Shelly and tell Adam that he’s the pawn this week. And, here is where I’d be pissed if I were Kalia. Talk about being a hypocrite, right? The entire HOH week, Daniele was upset with Kalia for making a deal with Rachel and telling her that she needed to go and that she didn’t like the idea of keeping her. Now, here is Daniele, in the same position of power to get rid of either Brendon or Rachel and she’s going to consider making a deal with them to keep them in the house to help further herself in the game. Good partner you have there, Kalia. The people I hate most in the world are hypocrites. Don’t get mad at me one week for doing something and then turn around and go do the same thing the very next week. Even with that said, though, Daniele is making the right game move if she does decide to keep those two in the house. I actually think that it would be the right move either way, whether or not she nominated them or didn’t. She’s in such a great position in the house now that I think she can do just about anything and still be top dog.