BIG BROTHER – 8/19/11

One thing, real quick, Julie Chen should NEVER use the term “Brenchel” in a sentence ever again. It gives you as much credibility as a journalist/host as the top 50 comedian list I read once that had Roseanne Barr listed as the number 8 best comedian of ALL TIME!! You don’t want that kind of credibility, Julie. The people who put together that list should be forced to eat a waffle cone out of Roseanne’s ass.

Speaking of Rachel, she has surely perfected the crying-with-no-tears gig. Come on, Rachel, serious actors can at least squeeze out a tear or two so we can see it stream down their cheeks. You, you just smear your eye makeup and pretend like it was your tears you were wiping away that did it. Just because you raise your voice an octave and hide under a pillow doesn’t mean we believe you’re actually crying. Give it up already. I had two favorite parts inside the scene where she was crying to Brendon about him being the replacement nominee and most likely going home for the second time. First, I enjoyed when Brendon told her “I came back to show you that you could do this” (or something along those lines). Uh, no Brendon, you came back because America SUPPOSEDLY voted you back in the house. Are you trying to tell us something with that comment? Are you trying to tell us that they asked you to come back and told you they’d rig the votes? We all know it was rigged, anyways, so you might as well tell us. I have actually talked to Brendon over facebook chat a few times, so I’m hoping we can rekindle our “friendship” and he’ll talk to me more once he gets settled back into his grand ole life at UCLA (doubtful to happen, though, since I’m sure he’d read this blog…just no I’m kidding, buddy, if Ragan and Rachel can do it, we can too). I will say this, though, in all seriousness, if you really are going to dedicate your life (and not just the next 5 years of your PhD studies) to finding the cure for cancer, I commend you. Enough of the serious stuff, my second favorite moment came when Rachel was practically in hysterics and then the very next second, she was upright, tearless, no smeared makeup, and talking in her normal voice asking what they should do about Jeff and Jordan. Nice transition. And….scene! Take five, Rachel, great job, I think three people in the back of theater actually came close to buying your schtick.

Rachel talked to Porsche next and I actually gained a little respect for Porsche. She shot it straight with Rachel and told her what she was actually thinking, rather than just what Rachel wanted to hear, which is what everyone in the damn house has been doing all season in every conversation they have. Anyways, Rachel made her best plea when she told Porsche that she “heard” Shelly say she was going after Porsche and that keeping Brendon would benefit her most since they wouldn’t target her. Come on, Rachel, Porsche has been living in the same house as you and everyone knows Shelly wants you gone, especially after the fight between the two of you that Porsche just happened to witness!! But, I liked the fact that Porsche gave Rachel sh*t and told her, straight up, that she didn’t like the way she acted last time Brendon was on the block and that keeping him in the game did nothing for her. Porsche told her not to act the same way she did last time and told her to be all smiles. Rachel put on a happy face as Porsche walked out and as soon as the door shut, she returned to her glum, menacing appearance since she knew the camera was on her and it was what they wanted to see. But, props to Porsche for this one, I liked that from her. A few more moments like that and I may actually change my stance on her and root for her to stay over some other people in the house.

The theme of the episode is obviously Brendon and Rachel trying to claw some votes together. I will say this for Big Brother, they may want to demand that on live evictions night, the two houseguests up for eviction still dress as if they are staying in the house. This entire first half of the episode was worthless since it was apparent Brendon knew he was going home, since he was in a “dress” shirt and jeans while Shelly was in her “endurance comp” clothes. Come on, Big Brother, you aren’t even f*cking trying anymore. But, I guess you are already renewed for next season, so why bother, right?