BIG BROTHER – 8/22/11

Written by:
Scott Ottersen
Email: ScottOttersen@yahoo.com
Facebook: http://facebook.com/ScottOttersen

Ok, I had a few questions on the girl firefighter that won Big Brother in the past. As it turns out, I did some research and she was only an EMT, but same difference. Her name was Maggie and she won way back in Season 6, I believe. And, the fact that everyone that contacted me had no idea who she was makes my point.

Now, onto another email I received this week. Someone emailed me Kalia’s “relationship blog.” Listen, the fact that she played it off as if she was a “relationship blogger” for the show is ridiculous. She has a blog on blogspot.com like 9,000,000 other people have and she writes about her own life, which I’m 95% sure she makes up, anyways. That would be like me calling myself a “movie star” because my brother and I used to make videos of each other in the backyard, chasing the dog or digging up the grass area behind the shed because we wanted to make a pool (true story). She goes by the name Blackie Collins (classy) and the site is blackiecollins.blogspot.com. I read about two posts before I was bored out of my mind and also came to the conclusion that she’s one of those people who blame everyone else for sucking at life and not thinking she is any part of the problem. But, hey, I won’t hate on her for trying. I’m a cynical person myself, so who knows, in real life Kalia and I might actually get along. But, lose the “Blackie Collins” moniker. It sounds like a rejected alias of a female character from “Shat,” the white version of “Shaft” starring William Shatner. And, don’t go looking for that show, I just made it up.

During last week’s live eviction show, after Brendon was voted out, and Brendon walked over to sit down next to Julie, they always show them meeting Julie and then cut back into the house for a quick glimpse of what’s going on right after the eviction. And, when that happened, we heard Daniele saying something to Rachel with Rachel’s “I just took a mean shit” face glaring back at her. We never got to hear what Rachel said until last night’s episode. She said “Hmm, just as many cheers as last time. Seems like America likes him, huh Dani?” Awk…ward!! Rachel just doesn’t know how to be uncomfortable, does she? What would make her say that? And, doesn’t she know that the crowd is told to clap and cheer? Seriously, Brendon could have come out holding his d*ck, pissing on the people sitting in the aisle and they still would have been cheering. Hell, they’re going to cheer for you when you get evicted, so what does that tell you? And, Daniele said it best with her response when she told you that she never said America didn’t like him. She wanted him out of the house because he was a threat, not because she hates his guts. See, Rachel, some people are actually playing a game. I realize Big Brother has become real life for you and Brendon and you’re basing life decisions off of what you’re doing inside the game, but other people know that it’s just a game and they need to vote people out in order for them to win. Get over yourself.

Since we already knew who won HOH, I knew the first 15 minutes of the episode were going to be pointless to watch, which is why I don’t like when Big Brother does the endurance competitions. I guess it’s ok for the people who don’t read spoilers, but I don’t know how those people do it. I love Big Brother too much to wait 4 days to find out who wins HOH. But, I had to sit through it, and I made it out alive. And, I learned a few things on the way. Such as:

1) Porsche wants to prove to her alliance that she CAN win and she is able to help out and not just sit back and let them do all the work while she reaps the benefits.
2) Daniele is a terrible cheerleader and she hates the fact that she teamed up with the WORST competitor on this season. Yeah, Blackie, that’s you I’m talking about…
3) Big Jeff has to win this competition because he can’t even trust Rachel to not put him up this week.

I feel like I just graduated from Harvard with a Law degree after that riveting study hour. How do you like them apples, huh?

And…Jeff wins HOH! This couldn’t have been a more perfect time for him to step up and finally win an HOH. Up until now, the HOH competitions weren’t suited for his set of skills, but I’m glad to see that he won the one he was supposed to win. Seriously, who was going to beat him in this competition; Rachel? Porsche? Adam? No, this was all Jeff’s to win and lose. Now, let’s see if he has the balls to swing at Daniele and hopefully knock her out. She is his ONLY competition to win this season, so if he isn’t gunning for her, he’s a COMPLETE MORON!! F*ck the “deal” you made with her, Jeff, and put her up from the get go. She already has the Veto Pass, so she’s playing in it, anyways, so the backdoor option isn’t really one that is even 50% guaranteed. Do the right thing and just nominate her. This is $500,000 we’re talking about here, Jeff, don’t worry about how it’s going to look and what kind of hell she’s going to bring down on you throughout the week.

Shelly really despises Rachel. She tells Daniele and Kalia that she hates everything about her. Everything. She can’t even stand the sight of her. But, it’s obvious she LOVES Jeff. Even during the HOH room reveal, she was gushing over seeing pictures of his family, saying “I’ve never seen his family before.” Uh, Shelly, that’s because YOU DON’T KNOW HIM!! Hello, stalker!! I’d watch out after this season if I were Jeff. I have a feeling she’s going to call him every night to read him a good night story and then ask him to jerk off while she’s on the phone with him. You get it, Big Jeff. Also, I’d like to say that I have a brother named Jeff, so it’s Jeff & Scott in his family, just like it is mine. Oh God, now I sound like the stalker.