BIG BROTHER – 8/29/11

Written by:
Scott Ottersen
Email: ScottOttersen@yahoo.com
Facebook: http://facebook.com/ScottOttersen
Twitter: http://twitter.com/#!/ChokeOnMyBlog

First, I’m going to start this off by telling you that as you are reading this blog, I am in the midst of turning 30. Yes, today is my birthday. So, take a shot or two for me and let’s get this sh*t over with already. Also, as a birthday present, I joined Twitter. I figured it’s the way of the world now and that’s a good way to get my words and crazy thoughts that nobody needs to know about out to the world, so why not. You win, Ashton Kutcher, you win. Now, ChokeOnMyBlog (that’s my Twitter name). #icantbelieveijustdidthat

If that already wasn’t enough for you (and it should be dammit), we still have a whole episode to run through. For any of us who read the Big Brother blogs, this episode was a complete waste because we all already knew everything they showed us. But, nothing CBS has done this season has made ANY sense, so why stop now and start doing things right?

So, we start off the night before the eviction with Rachel confronting Jeff about him throwing the “cornhole” (seriously, are we in Indiana or something…who calls it cornhole) veto competition that got Brendon sent home. Jeff denies it and asks who she heard this from. She tells him that she heard it from some lady not worth mentioning, who heard it from Daniele. And, I don’t know if the rest of you have noticed this season, but it seems like Jeff has a bit of an edge to him. He seems to snap at people in a short manner of time. He is getting fairly aggravated with these people, but honestly who could blame him after having to put up with Rachel, Kalia, and Porsche for 55 days.

Then, with no resolution, really, and great transitioning we move right to two hours before the eviction with Jeff and that same lady not worth mentioning getting a tad testy with each other. Jeff says something about him being sick of the back and forth, but he walked away without going into much more detail.

More great transitions, and we move forward 30 minutes with that old hag telling Jeff that she’s not voting to keep Daniele and that Adam is the one who has been scheming the whole time to have her stay. Now, I’m sure she makes a healthy point when she keeps saying that everyone talks about their options with everyone in the house and in doing so they go over keeping either nominee, but the way she’s talking in circles and avoiding questions and getting upset for no real reason just screams that she’s lying to Jeff’s face and even he knows it. Hence why Adam just sits in the corner chuckling his bald chin off. Seriously, this woman needs to get her face off my TV screen because I can’t stand looking at her anymore. I used to be indifferent and didn’t care if she was on the show or not, but now I just never want to even hear her name again. I know you “did it for your family,” but hell even you knew you were doing the wrong thing and that’s why you only gave a one gun salute in your voting scene when you normally give two. You ain’t winning this game, anyways, so whatever excuse you want to tell yourself to make you feel better is fine with me. Just know you’re worthless to me. And to this game.

Seriously, that scene after Kalia won when her, Porsche, and you-know-who were huddling together pissed me off. I hate people like her. Jeff said it best when he was walking out that you now want to be best friends with someone you talked sh*t about the entire game. I hate that garbage. I hate that Jeff had to go out like that. I think that is what is irking me the most about this. I’m more mad about that than when Cassi was voted out. God, that girl looked good in a bikini. I hope you chokeonmyblog.

Then, having to relive Porsche winning the veto in jeans she could barely keep her asscrack from showing in all because Jeff went wild and threw his shoe out of his “ballpit.” Jeff tried to sway Porsche’s decision by telling her that he used his veto to save her last week and the favor should be returned. Valiant effort, Jeff, but I will hand it to Porsche for making the right decision there and not using it. It would not benefit her in the slightest to keep you in the game. Honestly, Porsche doesn’t even need an alliance, she can make it to the final 2 based on the fact that everyone else is worthless and she’s not viewed as a threat, whatsoever. I think people are more threatened by those swanky dance moves you showed off in the pantry room. That was like a white hula girl on her 21st birthday after having 2 shots of Pucker and being wasted, and then taking a hit from a bong from some dude she just met in the men’s bathroom while she was hooking up with another guy she met while she was walking back to go puke from the 2 shots of Pucker. I think I just summed up every decision she’s ever made.

When the votes came back tied, Jeff thought Adam was the one who didn’t vote for him. Uh, Jeff, were you not paying attention to the way rhinestone ass was talking to you? You had to know she was voting you out and you thought Adam did it? Anyways, Jeff leaves, Jordan’s pissed, Kalia’s ecstatic and thinks she just pulled off the greatest move in the history of mankind and “fried body” (we all remember what she looked like that one episode in her bikini all burnt to a crisp) is crying because she feels bad about what she did. Listen, this bullsh*t pisses me off even more. If you’re going to do something like that, own it, be a b*tch and proud of it. If you’re really doing it for your family and to earn yourself a better future, f*ck what everyone else thinks, buck up, vote his ass out and live with it. Don’t go cry and then yell at his girlfriend because she’s upset about losing her man because you betrayed them. How else did you expect her to feel and react? And, you barge in on a private conversation (for like the 8th time in this episode alone) as if you were invited and start yelling at her? I think this is a good time to point out that I have reconsidered wanting to be on Big Brother. I think the idea of it is cool and all, but I happen to think I might pull a Wayne Brady and have to choke a b*tch out (Dave Chappelle reference). I don’t think I have it in me anymore. And, that’s for the simple reason that I KNOW I would end up on a season with dipsh*ts like these people and it would be frustrating to no end that someone like Porsche or Kalia is going to end up winning just because nobody is playing the game. Rant over.