Holy shiz, someone tell Jugglin Joe from Indiana to CALM…THE…F*CK…DOWN!!!! Stop yelling into the camera, moron. I think he’s testing the limits of how soundproof that room is. Jesus! Also, someone tell him that you and the rest of your team making an alliance with Britney’s team and nominating a couple of people on the opposite teams is NOT a “major move.” The first HOH nomination and vote is never a major move in the house. Major moves come later in the game when people double-cross their own alliance, or decide to switch allegiances, or stop yelling into the damn camera whenever they are in the confessional room!! Someone slip some Ambien into his pasta penne. Tough dish to cook up there, Juggles.
Willie makes his first “power play” of the season by talking to Frank, telling him that he wants to work together, and making our first non-coach-related alliance of the season. At the time, I wrote in my notes, “smart move by Willie to go off on his own and make an alliance with a member of another coach’s team.” He would later make me write down, “I take that back about Willie.” More on that later.
More of Ian’s creepiness. Apparently, he sits in the bathroom as Danielle and Kara (and probably Shane and Willie) take showers, hoping to catch a peek. Now, as a man, I can’t blame him knowing the history of Big Brother and how you catch peeks of girls’ naked bodies coming out of the shower, but there has to be a more subtle way to do it than just sitting there, on the couch, sitting Indian style, doing nothing! At least you could ask Wil With One L if you could rub his back down with baby oil or braid Freakshow Frank’s hair. Don’t just sit there licking your toes, playing some @ss music, hoping to catch a titty or two as they plop out of the shower. If anything, wait for JoJo, she seems more the type that doesn’t care if Ian catches a glimpse or seven. Then, he goes and shoots his semen into Jugglin’ Joe’s cowboy hat as he streaks around the house. Of course, Joe talks about how he can never “use” that hat again, but we all know that Juggles is on the down low and he probably rubbed the inside of that hat all over his hair, using Ian’s sweet juice as hair gel the next morning! The way he talked about hitting on Wil With One L “from behind,” we know Juggles wants some sweet man @ss!
For the next twist of this season, we learn there is a new competition; The Coaches Competition. Clever name. Probably took the employees of CBS a few months to come up with that one. The four coaches were going to compete in a challenge, in which the winner gets to choose one of their players to have safety for the week. I like this twist. Anything that can win people safety is a challenge worth playing.
And, Britney’s speech about how she sucks in challenges and just hopes to not embarrass herself and come in last every time is the EXACT reason why she is NOT a legend! Take it back, Chenbot, take it back that you ever let those words come out of your mouth! Tell us you were drunk when you said it. Tell us anything. But, retract that statement. Britney is NOT a legend of Big Brother.
The challenge is a short track, where the coaches are wearing some ridiculous kids Halloween costume of a horse around their waste, pretending to be in a race of their own, where they need to catch up to the horse ahead of them and rip the tail off of their @ss! The first heat is Mike against Britney. Do we even need to play this one out? Britney holds her own for a little while, but Boogie eventually catches her and rips her tail off. The question I had during this first heat is whether or not the person being caught can stop, lie down, and then rip off the tail of the person catching up to them? So, could Britney have slid on her @ss, effectively laying on her tail, and wrestled with Boogie to try and get his tail before he got hers? Again, CBS, you need to clarify these rules a little better to the viewing public, because I never understand what can and can’t be done! If the players can throw the bear from the third bed in the HOH competition, I feel as if Britney could have lied on her back and wrestled with Boogie for his tail, rather than just diving on her stomach and letting Mike just take her tail with barely bending down. Although, given Britney’s track record, I’m sure it still would have ended the same way anyway.
The second heat was Janelle versus Dan, and Dan drums up some story about why his b*tch @ss wants to lose on purpose, even though we all know the great football coach is just scared of actually losing to a girl on national TV! And, yes, the people in the house are stupid enough to believe you actually tried. You are a loser, so they expected you to lose, throwing it or not. They did watch as you picked the two Boobs McGee’s as your top picks, so they know you’re not trying to win anything this season.
Boogie went up against Janelle in the final heat, and I’m guessing the rules weren’t that they could stop and wrestle their opponent, because had they been able to do that, Janelle would have been ALL ABOUT kicking Boogie in his wart-infested balls’!! Anyway, Boogie wins, asks if there are any questions, and then chooses Ian to be safe. He does this because he believes Frank is safe, because he knows Frank made a deal with The Notorious R.I.B. and he doesn’t care if he loses Jenn or not.
Why wouldnt you consider Frank as a key player? If he stays, there will be a war between Willie and Frank.
Also, why does Steve care how many columns you write? It just adds more time on his web site which just generates revenue. Confused on that one.
I never said he wasn’t a key player, I’m just addressing who CBS seems to be leaching onto. We hear a lot about Frank, but we don’t see him at all. That’s probably because he’s quiet and doesn’t say anything worthwhile.
I don’t make up the rules. I told Steve I’d do three a week, but he said it’s better to do two. I don’t question him. If he wants me to only post twice, I post twice. Makes for a long read come Friday morning, but I do my best to keep the entertainment coming throughout the long read.
Okay – got it.
Well it doesnt make any sense to me lol because Big Brother has alot of material and the more people who come to this site and stay to read is Steve’s bread n butter. But I understand you dont make the rules.
Loving your column.
I bet Willie goes to Frank and tells him the same old line, i don’t really want you out, your just the pawn, blah blah blah since I couldn’t put up Ian. And that he really wants Kara out. I think Poor Willie doesn’t have a chance in this game…
I am glad Boogie kept Ian safe so Willie couldn’t nominate him. Annoying people in the house (Ian, Joe) do not need to be sent home because you don’t want to make people angry or because they are annoying. That’s reason to keep them in the house as of now. I liked Willie’s nominations except for the fact he made a deal with Frank. That sealed his fate somehow…I just know it!
I also get angry calling Britney a “legend.” She had NO CLUE those boys were aligned, and probably still doesn’t!!! The girl is nice and all, and even makes funny comments once in a while, but please. I like the coaches twist, but I agree, it’s too much in the game. I found myself cheering because Boogie said to Dan that Janelle and Britney weren’t aligning yet, then realized, who cares what he thinks?!?! I can’t wait to see a player go against their coach!!!
Watching it I was wondering if Ian may have a mental illness of some sort. That’s the first thing that came to my mind while watching! Willie nomination of Frank may be a stupid move or it may be brilliant if he comes back! Nobody would suspect of them working together!
Jacklyn, the only reason I say to get rid of someone the house doesn’t care about losing is because it’s the first week. At this point, NOBODY knows who is a threat in the game, because we don’t even know what kind of game it’s going to be. For all we know, Ian, Joe, Ashley, Wil, and 5 other people could forge an alliance together and if they vote out Frank, that’s one less person Willie could have in his alliance. There is no way of telling which way the game is going to go after the first week, so just get out someone “safe” with your first HOH, don’t make waves, make a few side pacts with people, and sit tidy and hope your nominations don’t come back to bite you the next week. I’m not saying getting rid of Frank is stupid, I just think it’s making too much of a wave too early on in the game.
But, then again, people on Big Brother are F*CKING STUPID, so you might as well nominate two of the most popular, strongest people…
I thought it was weird/wrong, that they made the coach who won the coach’s competition pick a player as a Have Not – I thought it stood to reason that whatever coach won, their team wouldn’t have to be have nots. So, there’s no competition to determine have-nots? Eh – stupid.
I imagine it must be hard not to listen to the coaches right now – they are like celebrities to these players – to go against any of the coaches the first week would be really hard for any of them I would think. I’m pretty sure if I met George Clooney and he said something dumb (unlikely, he’s kinda a smart guy) or something I didn’t agree with, I probably wouldn’t say anything to disagree, I’d be a little starstruck. But, if I hung around him for a while, I believe that would wear off and then I would start to voice my opinions. Sigh, I just totally distracted myself with my fake best friend relationship with GC.
Anyway, point is I think they will start to think on their own in a couple of weeks. So it does seem like the coaches game right now, b/c they really aren’t letting the others play. As they show it anyway.
Still not fully decided on the coaches twist. I did get really excited b/c of Boogie and Janelle, but without Dr. Will its just not the same. They were so much fun – I loved that season. But, we’re not getting to see much of the personalities of the other players as a result – and that is CBS’ fault for not showing us. I think Will would probably have hilarious ITM’s. He showed promise last week. So, I guess we’ll see…
I can see your point about how these coaches are something of celebrities to these new houseguests, and I can agree to that thinking. I guess we never know how we’d react, but I still like to think that I would discuss it further with my coach who I thought would be smart to send home so that I don’t make waves in the house. From everything I’ve read/seen, these players just dropped to their knees and started sucking, for lack of a better analogy!
Not that I’m gay or anything, but I think if George Clooney told me to do something, I’d probably do it, too. Chances are he’s either paying me to do it or he’s telling me something that will get me paid in the future!
And, the biggest gripe I have about having previous houseguests back on the show is the fact that CBS likes to simply focus on those players. They follow their every move in the house during the aired episodes, and it just seems they are the only people we get to truly know. Sure, as the season winds down and there are less people to show, we might get to see more people and their interactions, but chances are we’re not going to care at that point.
Lastly, I agree about the Chill Town fake-phone-call conversations being the highlight of the All-Stars season. Definitely not the same.
Agreed Scott. I don’t like how all the camera attention is on the previous houseguests. Also – in a way, they are protecting the new houseguests from playing the game – they usually get thrown in the deep end right away and have to start playing – but with the coaches there is the potential for scapegoating. If we saw floaters before, I think there is a possibility that might even be magnified this season.
CHILLTOWN RULES! I’ll try to do better than 90’s sayings, but that’s what’s screaming in my head right now. There was magic between those two fellas that entertained me all summer long. Maybe they should disperse old chill town clips throughout the show for our us. That would make me happy.
OMG, could someone please tell Chenbot to scrape off the eye make-up! You can’t see her eyes – all you see are huge gashes of black smears. Hideous!
Damn, I was just sick when Ian was given immunity! Seriously. He’s not just “creepy” (although he is that); I truly think he has mental health issues that need to be addressed. I watched the “After Dark” program one evening last week during a bout of insomnia, and Ian spent the entire time in the hot tub, at one point “humping” the water. I kid you not. Ewwwwwww ….
Well, its obvious the show is going to be about Boogie – ugh.
I don’t think Boogie understands how to be a coach. He’s too domineering, if he keeps this up his team is going to rebel, say screw you and turn him out of their decision circle – that is if they stay aligned at all. All he did was dictate to Frank – you could tell Frank was trying really hard to be polite, but his frustration showed (in his mind ‘don’t think I’m stupid Mike’). He’s coming on too strong as a coach, and it’s going to bite him in the ass. He’s playing like a player – but he has to realize he does not have as much power as he thinks. Although with the ability to give players immunity or have not status, I guess they have a bit – but they still need one of their players to win, so that only goes so far. Boogie I think is not going to make it, and his players are going to suffer, which sucks. All th e coaches think they have too much power, but if these players are smart, they’ll eventually say screw you and ignore their advice. Not much for repercussion. Then maybe these coaches will clue in that coaching is NOT dictating, but a give and take, listening and responding relationship – a mentor relationship is. Ot about the coach. All they are doing are constantly talking and making it all about them. They need to cool it. I think while many might not like Dan, he might be the best at this (if his players stay in) as his background is coaching, and I get the sense he could do this well. But I also sense a cockiness from him this time I didn’t think was there last time. Or maybe that’s just around Boogie – that ‘boy thing’ of being tough.
‘a mentor relationship is NOT about the coach…’
Whoops.