Aw, Dan wants to be a better husband to his wife. I’ll let it go. I won’t rag on Triple D too much, maybe he does actually want to be a better husband to his wife. And, anything I say to make fun of him, I’m sure my wife would just throw back in my face, so I will say that it was an incredibly sweet sentiment from Triple D to explain to America how he wants to be a better husband and how he chooses not to think about his wife while he’s in the house so that he can have laser focus on the game, and pick the two big-breasted-beauties to be on his team. Laser focus on those titties, Dan, laser focus. Like you said, your wife wants that laser focus out of you. Make her proud.
Speaking of couples, Ian asks The Blonde Bondage Temptress out on a “slop date.” She agrees, mostly out of boredom (don’t believe her BS about having a soft spot for the geeks), and we learn that she is the hottest girl Ian has ever been out on a date with. Uh, correction Ian, she is the ONLY girl you’ve ever been on a date with. I’m sure he stuffed his underwear with toilet paper, so his ejaculate wouldn’t leak through at the dinner table. Also, you know what I said above about turning a new leaf on Ashley and how she may be more intelligent than we thought. Scratch that. Forget you ever read that in this blog. This girl is a moron. I feel as if she should be stripped of her “technician” title, because even a Spray Tan Technician needs more qualification than this girl can offer. Just don’t ask questions anymore, Ashley. Unless those questions are, “How are you doing?” Or, “Should I take my clothes off now?” Yes, the difference between organic chemistry and inorganic chemistry has everything to do with organic fruit at the grocery store. Goodness me. Science was my worst subject in school, but I’m pretty certain that a) I wouldn’t care enough to know the difference and b) I would, at least, know the difference had nothing to do with the word “organic” being used at the farmers market. Stick to the leather and whips. Or, Cinderella at Disney World. I don’t think they have to talk much; perfect job for you.
After all that sexual tension is released from our TV screens, we get the Coaches Competition. They drummed this one up with the drama, seeing as it involves a huge twist that we all pretty much know isn’t going to pan out, seeing as how Britney can’t win at anything and none of the other coaches are going to trade their players. And, how do these players not get the MC Hammer reference with these pants? A waiter, Britney, are you serious? Even those who were too young during MC Hammer’s reign at the top should still know about his style. They’ve seen pictures, videos, TV show references, etc. I feel old and I’m only 30. Pumps and a bump, pumps and a bump, we like the girls with the pumps and a bump! 2 Legit. God, the 90s were horrible.
I know I’m not the only one who gets down with the pumps and a bump, come on now, show The Hammer some love!
Anyway, Dan gives us his BS about “having” to throw the competition again, because he wants to keep a “weak persona.” Dan, you chose the two girls with the boobs and the girl nobody else wanted, I’m pretty sure you’re viewed as weak whether you win or lose any competition. Nobody is fearing you, so spare us the whole “I want to lose” speeches. You couldn’t beat any of these coaches on your best day, not even Britney, the Arkansas Hog, Flying Squirrel, Fricken Jackrabbit that she is! Those are the best lines the CBS writers could come up with? How hard is it to get a job writing for a TV show? I feel as if I could move to LA and have a job within an hour. Not because I’m such a great writer, but because the expectations are so low. At least Ian the Genius should understand that there was nothing “flying squirrel” about Britney in this competition. Flying squirrels are known for their jumping prowess and this game had nothing to do with jumping. I think that is lesson 1 in Inorganic Chemistry 101, please open your book back to page 2 and read that paragraph over again, Ian. I think there is something in there, too, about how the class related to Organic Peaches sold at Wal-Mart.
Right after they were done praising how well Britney was doing (even though she was tied with just about everyone else, even Dan who was throwing the competition), she got disqualified. And, watching the replay, it completely seemed as if she was the one throwing the competition. I don’t know about you, but it looked as if she swatted those money stacks. Why would you swing your arm like that when you only need to pick up one stack? Just put your hand down on top of the stack, wrap your fingers around the stack, close said fingers along the outside of the stack, and pick your hand up. Don’t go and swing your hand in a downward motion at three of the stacks! I would have bought it if she knocked over just one of the stacks, but three?!? No, her Big Brother Coach told her to lose that competition.
Almost as dumb as Britney, Boogie takes his ride on the Mentally Handicapped Train. Although, his slight I can forgive a little more, seeing as how he was just too stupid to understand the rules. He stepped off the beam before he hit his button. He gave one of his stupid one-liners (something about Cash Money Records) as he was stepping off and I know that feeling of being all cocky about winning and then realizing you lost because of your lapse in judgment. It’s like that time when I was in a bowling league, we were in a one-on-one tournament, I was down by however much going into the 10th frame, all I needed to do was strike on my first ball and I would easily win. Anyone who bowls (I don’t anymore, but used to be real good) knows that when you throw that ball enough, you typically know when you’re ball is going to hit flush and chances are you’ll get a strike. Well, I threw the ball just that way, turned around before the ball even got to the pins, looked at the guy I was playing against, and gave some stupid hand gesture as if I was punching him as the ball hit the pins (to give the effect that I was punching the pins down, as well), saw them laughing, turned and saw I was left with a rather difficult split for the spare. As it turns out, I still hit the spare and won the match, but for a good ten seconds, I felt like the biggest ass in the country. Pumps and a bump, I gave the pumps, ended up the bump.
Anyway, as if you care about my rather awkward childhood, Janelle won the competition by default (Britney DQ’d, Boogie DQ’d, and Dan is a jackass) and chose not to trade any of her players. She kept Ashley safe and chose “definitely Willie,” JoJo, Shane, and Ian as the have-not’s for the week. JoJo was none too pleased on Shane and Ian’s behalf, calling Janelle a “mean b*tch” because they were have-not’s the week before, as well. Calm your JoJo Shore self, it’s the name of the game, Snooki-wannabe. Or would she be more of J-Woww? Maybe J-Nooo.
Great recap Scott – when the gals were showing us their eskimo kissing, Ians expression behind them was priceless and you nailed it for what Im sure it must have been!!
About Willie – What was really repulsive to me (before the shite hit the fan) was how Britney (does anyone else get reminded about Alicia Silverstones character in Clueless when the look at her or listen to her) and the gang (knowing this guy was an 8th grade dropout-grandpa at age 34-related to the saintly Russell) went for the juggular with the expectation that-what–he would engage them in a heartfelt, intelligent and calm discussionÉ. Cmon, him going bat-shite crazy was unacceptable , yes-but could anyone say with a straight face that they couldnt have seen it coming given that the guy quit school to early to learn good verbal communication skillsÉÉ (Sorry, my question mark key had a late nite last nite and cant be bothered to show up this morning).
I still say the spray-tanologist will make it to the final three (if the coaches get to play – if not, a contender for the prize.) No one is confusing her with Stephen Hawking (except maybe Wille), but girl has SOME game-enuff to know she wants to be the only floater anyway!
And agreed Scott-the Chilltown phonecall gag was just sad–Boogie is still hanging on to Dr Wills coattails as hard as if he were hanging onto his anti-itch cream for those damned warts.
Sorry for the long post-wont happen again–See!
As if I care about the “long” post. I write something like a 6-page recap of a 60 minute show where basically nothing happens other than people talking! I can live with a long comment. I appreciate them.
And, yes, I full-on agree the harsh treatment that Britney gave Willie, and JoJo and Shane both banishing him from contact, as well, is what drove Willie over the edge. I know he would have burst at some point, anyway, but had Britney not kept throwing fuel on the fire that was Willie, things wouldn’t have went down the way they did. I won’t say Britney is to blame, at all, for what he did, but she definitely didn’t help. Just yet another reason she and the word “coach” should NEVER go hand-in-hand ever again!
Totally agree about the “Chill Town” Diary session. Haven’t rolled my eyes so hard in a long time, and I have 5 kids…really stupid…
As for the balance bars, I don’t recall the comment, so I didn’t look, but I think that he may have been referring to Balance Bar, protein bars…I could be wrong though.
I agree with you Scott, I didn’t think Willie was all that bad until he flipped out. Seriously, was I missing something? Did he kill someone’s puppy on the live feeds? Why on earth was Britney and everyone SO mad at him at the beginning and middle of the episode? People argue all the time on this show. That’s really all he did.
I do disagree with one thing though, I absolutely think Shane and Jojo are now targets for the sole reason that they were on a team with Willie. When Willie went upstairs, one of the guys even said that because they associated with him before Thursday, they are now targets as well. Britney’s concern was legitimate in my opinion, and that was proven with Janelle making her entire team the Have-Nots. I think they’ll be on the block this week unless they can weasle into some kind of alliance.
I think Ashley may actually have a thing for nerds, although I’d be shocked if it’s anything sexual so much as a fun little crush 😛 Either way, I loved that scene…Don’t care about Danielle and Shane, they’re both incredibly dull.
It’s hard for me to get my point across in writing. I wish I could discuss this with people face-to-face more often. I don’t disagree that Shane & JoJo are going to be targets. They are going to be. But, it’s more just because of the alliance they’re NOT in, moreso than the ally they have been sidled with. They’re not in the alliance with Frank and all of Janelle’s team and whatnot. Britney sucks as a coach, thought she worked a deal with Janelle’s team, Janelle jumped ship, stuck herself onto Boogie’s train, talked with Dan, played the game, while Britney just talked about how she hated Boogie and her team. So, if anything, they’re not going to be targets because Willie blew up at the house and went bonkers. They’re just targets because they voted on that side of the house and now that Willie got booted from the house, it only makes sense to go ahead and try and vote one more of Britney’s players out, so that her and Dan are left with only one player each, and are weak in the game. Boogie & Janelle are sitting pretty now.
Does that help with the point I was trying to get across?
Mhm it does 🙂
I can totally understand why Brittany went after Willie, but only because I’ve read about the behaviour Willie displayed that was NOT shown on TV. Apparently, he kicked the doors of the Have-Not Room several times; threw a handful of pork-rinds at Janelle and called her a c*nt, and generally acted like a psycho before he even went after Joe. Brittany was trying to protect her other players and frankly I think that was admirable.
That said, Brittany isn’t in an alliance with any of the other coaches and I’m convinced that both Shane and Jo-Jo will be on the block this week.
Not sure, Scott, why you have such a hate-on for Danielle. I find her dull and vacuous, but mostly harmless. The person I really can’t stand is Jo-Jo. No game. No smarts. No personality (except as a foul-mouthed beyotch, as she’s shown herself to be on the After Dark programming).
I’m putting my money on Jo-Jo being the next one turfed. Or maybe that’s just wishful thinking on my part.
Anyway, I’ll guess we’ll see soon enough. Cheers!
I was happy to see Willie go. He came in with a sense of entitlement and his attitude and ego got in the way. He can dish it out but cant take it. He is a bully and when things do not go his way, he melts like the witch in the Wizard of Oz.
i think shane and joho became targets the minute their “team” won the first HOH…it happens every season. someone wins the HOH and it goes straight to their head with all this power and those alligned with them follow like sheep to the slaughter. they feel all immune because their side has the HOH and they get to make the first cut….however, making the first punch among a whole bunch of paranoid houseguests never goes well. because it was the first it is the most judged and the easiest to swipe back at.
bnapier – exactly right. You would have thought Willie was the HOH forever the way he acted and called meetings – geez – it was the first week!
I am very clueless as to what Willie did week 1 to make Britney hate him so much, make his whole team not talk to him, etc. Great, he called a house meeting (which I think he somehow thought was doing a good thing by telling the players “coaches may enter the game”) and yelled at Frank, but didn’t Frank lie about something Willie said? Look, I think Willie has a huge ego, is a hot head, and obviously now, is a little psycho. But, before things went down, I get his frustration. Coming from a person who would HATE it if people in this game just walked out of rooms when I went into them, told me they couldn’t associate with me, etc., I would be pissed too. But then he just went downhill and that sucks.
I am so over Britney. She has always had the “woo me attitude”, and am personally glad Janelle stopped being aligned with her. I am also over Frank. This guy hasn’t even done anything “game worthy” and he thinks he’s awesome.
At this point, I am rooting for Shane.
I agree, I’m a little over Frank, as well. I like him, but not in this game. He just has a weirdness about him that I don’t like in the Big Brother house. Although, it’s still early and they haven’t faced adversity yet within their alliance, so maybe I’ll change my mind once he becomes more vindictive towards players on his own team and not just ganging up on the people nobody likes.
As far as Willie kicking doors and all that, everything still happened AFTER Britney and the rest of his team banished him to solitude. He didn’t do anything other than yell at Frank and “act” like a bully. As if there have been no other “bullies” in the game before. These people just took more offense to it than usual, so they decided to treat him like a cancer (which he proved to be, but still). They didn’t force him to act the way he did, but they definitely caused it with their attitude towards him.
Hey guys…tell me you saw Shana after he voted to evict Danielle–as he was walking out of the DR, you could see the douche had a COMBOVER! Serious back-of-the-head-combed to the front!!! Who DOES that unless youre a 58 yr old algebra teacher trying not to look bald in the midst of his belated mid-life crisis!!!! And that pathetic attempt at flirting with Jojo in the have-not room – OMG, even Ian was grossed out! Personally, I saw more chemistry between Boogie and Ian. The only true showmancing Shana is doing is with all the mirrors in the house. The guy is begging to be backdoored….yeah, I mean both ways….
Vote to keep the coaches out of the game!! If Boogie wins again I will have to slit my wrists – he’s such a loser!! Also, why didn’t they vote Danielle out tonight and get rid of a coach since the seed has been planted that the coaches may come into the game? Seems like bad game play to me – especially since they think Dan is so dangerous. I don’t know what happened at the end of his (Dan’s) season b/c I live in Houston and Ike came through here at that time. I had no electricity for a while and when it came back on none of the shows on my DVR had survived! I remember hearing he won and I didn’t investigate further b/c I didn’t like him.