On to the live eviction show…
Aw sh*t! I think you all know what the “aw sh*t” is for, but I’ll save my rant and rave for later…
First thing that jumped out at me tonight was that when I went to start the taping of Big Brother, AT&T always posts a few of the “actor’s” names at the bottom of the info line, and there was “Ashley Locco” in all her CBS glory. Even AT&T doesn’t care to get her name right. For all those that didn’t know, her name is Ashley Iocco. That’s why I found it funny. I’m weird that way. It’s always the little things that get me.
Anyway, RoboChen confirms that if Danielle were voted out, Dan would leave the game, as well. She also tells us that we are going to hear from Dr. Will and get his thoughts on the season so far. No matter what happens, the show just got interesting to me. If anyone can break down what is going on in this house, it’s Dr. Will. I’d like to see Will campaign to become the new host of Big Brother. If it ever happens, remember, it started here!!
We flash back to the nomination ceremony, and wait, is JoJo wearing a robe?!? My guess is that’s some sort of dress, but if you go out in public in that, 97% of people you walk past are going to think you’re naked under that, because it looks like a f*cking robe!! I don’t get style these days and where it is going. We have guys wearing womens’ jeans and shirts that stop before the belt line on your pants and are tighter than a fat man in spandex.
So I guess CBS told Dan that he’s an idiot and he should go and apologize to Danielle and tell her that he “abandonded” and “rejected” her because it was a plan he had to motivate her. Because, as all men know, the way to motivate a woman is to reject her and tell her you’re not going to help her at all. He did say he was married, right? His wife must be a lesbian. But, of course Danielle forgives Dan because she knows he has a “good heart.” Even as stupid as his plan was, I don’t think it’s a case where he needs to be forgiven for doing it. It’s not like he kicked your puppy or stole your diaphragm.
The next scene is how you know NOTHING happened in the house this week. We get to hear J-Nooo and Danny Zuko talk about how they’re wearing thongs because it’s so hot in the Have-Not’s room. Then, they talk about how good they are at making out. All in front of scared little Chicken Little (Ian), who is as uncomfortable as every member of the Real World who has ever been in the bed next to someone having sex. It’s one of those situations where hell yes you stay and listen, maybe try and sneak a peek here and there (even though it’s dark and you can’t see sh*t), but you’re still trying to sleep and it gets kind of old after the excitement wears off. But, hey, at least Shane and JoJo let Ian in on the conversation, where Ian divulges he’s never even kissed a girl when he says, “I’ve been told to go heavy on the tongue.” I’m not sure who told him that, but maybe he’s friends with those two virgins who got married and had that ugly looking first kiss that went viral a few years back. He’s probably related to both of them.
I guess there is one thing that happened this week that CBS decided not to show us. At one point, JoJo traded Joe two packs of cigarettes for his vote for her to stay! What is this; prison? Are we next going to offer up protection from the Bikers during Yard time? Come to think of it, they sort of are in prison. They have lockdowns, they can’t leave the house, they have to share their rooms, only have one bathroom, are forced to eat slop, and the only thing they have they can trade are clothes and cigarettes. Of course, later in the week, she took her cigarettes back, Joe confronted her about it, and she told him that she just wanted to make sure she was in the house first, and then would give him the cigarettes. Joe wasn’t happy about this, because he said (rightfully so) that the deal was just for his vote, not for her to stay. She didn’t care, told him she didn’t want Janelle and Frank smoking her cigarettes after she got voted out because it would make her look like a fool. Joe walked away, JoJo followed him and offered him one cigarette, as if that was a peace-making tactic, and blah blah blah. I’m not sure if she did give him the cigarettes in the end, but does it really matter?
Ian, of course, goes and tells Danielle that they were climbing on top of each other in the beds last night (not sure if that actually happened – I never read about that on any live feeds blog and I feel like that’s something that WOULD have been written about). Danielle is bitter about this because she thought Shane was into her (yes, Danielle, we as men tend to see an attractive girl and then completely forget that other girls can be attractive – that’s exactly how it works), so she goes and tells Janelle and the Porn Star about this. Janelle is worried because she knows how powerful showmances can be in the house, so she wants to use this information and store it in the back of her blonde brain. Too bad it was already decided at this point that JoJo was going home, so who really cared if she was slobbing on Shane’s knob like corn on the cob.
Line of the night definitely goes to Ashley, with her whole interpretation of Shane’s body as “becoming emancipated.” Danielle had to ask her what that meant, and even after Ashley’s idiotic explanation of how it meant that he was becoming so skinny, his body was becoming introverted, even Danielle still seemed to be a bit lost! It’s emaciated, moron. Jesus, did they even test you at Penn State to get in? At my work, we hired a kid who went to Penn State and I, automatically, gave him the award for “Employee Who Went To The Most Prestigious College.” I’m starting to rethink that award after meeting this Ashley Locco chick.
If Ashley didn’t strain her brain trying to explain what emancipated was, Britney would have won line of the night with her hilarious rendition of what it is like to have a conversation with JoJo. I think Britney is beginning to do what she did to me her first season on the show. I didn’t like her in the beginning, then she said a few funny things, I realized she was always just being sarcastic, and then I started liking her. I think that is the same path she is going down this season. I really haven’t liked her so far this year, but I’m thinking this JoJo scene might be her turning the corner. Maybe she just needed Willie to go and she’d return to her previous form! I missed you Britney, welcome back. I still think you’re a terrible coach and don’t think you belong on this season as a “legend,” but that doesn’t mean I can’t laugh at your comments.
I have been reading Reality Steve for years and have never commented (mostly because as a blogger/writer myself, I tend to read A LOT of blogs and only ever really have the time to comment on those that belong to people I am somehow otherwise connected to), but without even getting through the first page of the column today, this:
“no doubt ably (seriously, spell check is telling me this is how it’s spelled – f*ck you, Weber’s Dictionary, I feel like the doubt and ably should be connected and be one word)”
had me laughing so hard (WITH you, not AT you, I swear), that I just had to chime in and say… I think “undoubtedly” (get rid of the “no”) was the word you were looking for. 😉
If it makes you feel any better, I was writing about strep throat last week and trying to describe tonsils as “puss-y”. Yeah, there really is no good way to do that without it just looking really effing wrong.
Now that I’m here, I will just say that I am so sorry to hear about your friend’s sister and they will definitely be in my prayers.
Also, I have really enjoyed reading your recaps the last few seasons. Summer in Alaska is short, and when the weather is good I tend to be outside. As such, even though this is one of my favorite reality shows of all time, I STILL haven’t had a chance to even glance at this week’s episodes. So thanks for keeping me informed and in the loop. And I’ve got to agree, casting the last few years has been rough. But at least it’s better than The Glass House. Have you seen that train-wreck? ABC should be ashamed of themselves. And CBS should be laughing… because if that was supposed to be a Big Brother knock-off, holy hell did they ever miss the mark!
Now, to actually finish your column and find out what I’ve missed!
I am not in love at ALL with the idea of the coaches coming back into the house….although i got online to try and vote and it said the voting was already closed???? Will’s assessment of the game thus far was dead on. Thats why i love him so…its like he reads my mind! I dont really understand Janelle. Maybe i am just not watching the live feeds or maybe i missed something on the episode but she and Britney were working together and then all of a sudden Britney is on her own. Did I miss something?
A few thoughts:
– THANK YOU for telling the JoJo-Joe cigarette story. I’m assuming that’s what Britney was referring to in her exit video to JoJo about how she should have laid low? I found that comment confusing with how the show was edited because we didn’t see JoJo do much scrambling after the Veto Meeting.
– I know you seem to dislike people who fly under the radar, but I think it’s the smartest way to win. There’s a difference between flying under the radar and riding on someone’s coat-tail, where you do absolutely nothing to further your own game and are just there by default. I think this early it’s best to lay-low and then orchestra big moves later but make someone else do the dirty work and get the blood on their hands. Maybe I mixing my Survivor strategy up too much with my Big Brother strategy, but I sort of agree with Dr. Will that Ian has a decent shot of winning.
– I appreciate your continuation of the Dick vs. Douche comparison 🙂
– I think the coaches will all want back in. I agree that Boogie’s the only one who isn’t at an advantage to join as a player, but with Janelle, Dan and Britney being added, he and his team would get overthrown quickly. If I were Boogie I’d do it just because the other coaches will now have votes.
Thanks for a great recap! 🙂
Trust me, “alaska” (I can call you Alaska, right?), you wouldn’t be the first person to laugh at me, so I’m not offended at all. Someone sent me the correct word I WAS, no doubt ably looking for, but I appreciate your help, as well.
I also appreciate your words for my friends’ sister.
And, I have seen the first few episodes of The Glass House. Whereas, I do think the show is RIDICULOUSLY STUPID, I really believe they have a good premise, they just missed the boat on casting, as well. The people in there are all lame and are trying too hard. I think it would have done better to have been a winter season show and not directly competing with Big Brother. That was a dumb decision on ABCs part. But, nobody ever said these big executives were ever all that smart, right?
In all honesty, I don’t remember what the initial reason was that Janelle decided to not work with Britney was. It happened almost immediately after they made their pact, though. I think she just realized working with Boogie was a much better decision.
Also, @stina2bina (thanks for always commenting, by the way, love it), I was DYING laughing when I read about the cigarette trade, so I absolutely had to tell that story. As for “flying under the radar,” I don’t really have an issue with people who do that, because it’s even possible for people like Frank/Shane to “fly under the radar” as long as there are players like Willie in the game. But, for the most part, if you are “flying under the radar,” chances are you aren’t doing anything and the only reason you end up making “big” moves later on is because, guess what, there is nobody else left! But, I do agree that is the way to approach the social aspect of the game. Never make waves, don’t lie to 10 different people, don’t start a showmance, don’t gloat after you win something, just be funny, actively seek out non-game related conversations with people, and stay away from all the drama, don’t even gossip about it after it’s done and over, stay above it and you’ll be “under” the radar.
that last paragraph is pretty awesome. lol
I have to agree, the casting sucks this year and I DO NOT want to see those coaches go into the game but I’m sure most of voting public will disagree… because they are fans of douchebaggery.
I’ve got a sneaking suspicion that America’s Vote is just a formality, though I did vote no the maximum ten times. Everyone I talk to and any site I see is almost unanimous in their distaste for this “twist.” Yet, somehow the “vote” will pass and here come the coaches into the game. I’ve always believed that CBS guides the players in the game, but it would go a long way in restoring my faith if it turns out I’m wrong and the vote doesn’t pass.
Can someone please tell me why the house decided on JoJo over Dani? Was it the showmance with Shane?
New comer to your site and you crack me up each blog so far!!
Scott, my most sincere condolences to your best friend on the loss of his sister and my sympathies to his sister’s spouse and children. It’s just heartbreaking.
Thanks for, once again, an awesome recap – especially for the Power of Veto episode, which I missed because my TV lost its feed that evening due to severe thunderstorms in the area.
At least I had the unmitigated joy of watching Jo-Jo get voted out of the house! Sorry I can’t agree with you that Jo-Jo is “pretty” – I found her downright fugly with her perpetually-wrinkled forehead and her ugly mouth (which looks like it has spent its entire life as a petulant pout on Jo-Jo’s face).
As a veteran insomniac, I have particularly appreciated watching BB After Dark several times over the last couple of weeks. I don’t know why BB didn’t show any of Jo-Jo’s attempts to ‘work’ the other contestants in her efforts to remain in the house, because she certainly was very actively trying to do so. She failed miserably in every attempt (maybe that’s why BB didn’t show it), but she did try, inarticulately lobbying Ashley, Jenn, Ian & Frank during the time I was watching.
Britney’s imitation of Jo-Jo was spot-on and hilarious! And I like Britney – she is followed frequently in the After Dark shows and her sarcasm/humour is unrivaled by anyone else in the house.
For all her “hard-rock, punk-rock, emo” look, Janelle is actually a very sweet person. And, unlike Danielle, she doesn’t have to tell the others that that’s what she’s like. They already know.
Joe (Juggles) – *after* the fact of Jo-Jo taking back her ciggies – spoke to someone (I think it was Frank) in the storeroom about his vote-for-cigarette deal, and suddenly “found” some integrity, saying he wasn’t going to sell-out for cigarettes because it was just wrong. Hahahahahaha!
I didn’t watch the season with Boogie (& Dr. Will), so I really don’t “get” the history; I’m guessing I miss a lot of the inside jokes and references to their past playing methods.
Watch for lots of game this week with the other players trying to get in good with Shane & Britney. So far, Dan & Danielle have got some kind of alliance in-the-works with the Douche & Britney, and the four of them are trying to figure out a way to woo some of the weaker players.
Finally (sorry for the long post!), I would just HATE it if BB allowed the coaches back into the game-proper. Let them play out their own game for the $100K and leave the new contestants alone! Jeeeeeeezzzzzze!!
Condolences and prayers to your BFs family. No words can comfort a loss of a loved one.
If Frank is thinking theres even a remote chance of the coaches coming into the game, he SHOULD be working with Shana to get them out ASAP. Janelle & Boogie would win too many comps if they get rid of Shana too quickly.
@cfolliott – I agree that CBS has every intention of putting the coaches in, regardless of what the public is REALLY saying. Its their only option of even attempting to make the season bearable after their brilliant casting people effed up royally.
After having to endure Rachels whining, tantrums, crying and over-the-top mood swings, I was really hoping they would bring it back to basics with newbies who had game and personalities.
Sigh….
Hey Scott,
First off, I want to tell you how much respect that I have for you. A few weeks ago, I left you a message that I wasn’t happy with your column. You posted a reply that I just read. It means a lot that you actually read my comment and responded to it, wanting to know what I didn’t like about your column. In my post, I think I said something like “be more yourself.” I have read your last few columns and want to give you my condolences for your best friend’s wife’s passing. And also to let you know that I have enjoyed your columns much more than the first one back. I am glad you’re back writing and look forward to future posts. Take care.
Wow, a lot to comment about in the comments, let me see if I can concise it down. I will say that they decided on JoJo because they know they can get rid of Danielle at any time and also CBS told them not to vote her out because they want Dan back in the game with rest of coaches. Also, I never really said I thought JoJo was pretty, just that she is pretty-ish. And, the ratings are down this season and CBS knows the coaches twist was a dumb idea so of course they are letting them back in the game no matter what the votes are. And, “lucky,” I appreciate your kind words and that you like me again! 🙂
And, I want to thank everyone for their condolences. I appreciate that so greatly.
Oops! In my earlier post, I named Janelle as the punk-rock chick … actually, it’s Jenn. Sorry about that.
I receive/watch the After Dark show from 2:00 a.m. to 5:00 a.m. (here in Ontario, Canada), and was up with my good friend, Insomnia, and watching the whole thing this morning.
Very crazy show, it being Wil’s birthday!
The show started with all 4 coaches + Danielle + Shane enjoying an outdoor sushi-bar feast as a “prize” of some kind that coach Dan had won. Don’t know what that was all about …
The rest of the houseguests, indoors, went wild celebrating Wil’s birthday. Their meagre alcohol supply consisted of 6 cans of beer and one bottle of wine & the bottle of wine was given to Wil to have on his own as his birthday gift. Much (very loud) hilarity ensued.
When the sushi-eaters returned to the house (kindly bringing with them a few plates of dessert from their feast to share with the others), things got REALLY loud and very silly.
I’ll be interested to see if BB shows Ian once again “streaking” through the kitchen totally bare-assed (damn, that guy’s butt is hairy!), covering his package with the same hat he used the first time.
Wil went nude as well – also covering his assets with a hat (his own, thank god!) – in a mad dash to the pool for a very short skinny dip. By the way, Wil has a great ass.
At one point, they actually played spin-the-bottle. Don’t know what BB will show, but highlights included a fairly long kiss, complete with tongues, between Ashley & Boogie (!!ewwwww!!!); a kiss between Shane and his “stalker” Danielle (passionate on her part; not on his); and a peck between Ian & Ashley.
Highlights on How-Pathetic-is-Danielle?: Her giggling with Janelle and Brittany about her “first kiss” with Shane; her heart-to-heart talk with Brittany about why Shane was “acting so weird” after their kiss and not looking at her; and the most uncomfortable scene of them all …. Danielle laying in bed with Shane, stroking his arm and talking about their “first kiss” while he’s laying there with his eyes closed, yawning hugely and talking about how tired he is! (As in, fer-gawd’s-sake-girl-get-the-flock-out-of-here-and-leave-me-alone-so-I-can-sleep-without-you!).
Danielle is going to be enormously embarrassed when watching the show after the fact when she realizes that (1) Shane was the only person who voted to have her evicted when she was up against Jo-Jo; (2) Shane was “into” Jo-Jo; and (3) Shane was/is NOT into Danielle … and that she’s missing every single massive cue that he’s giving her about “not being into you”.
P.S. To anyone from Ontario, Canada … Ashley looks very much like the hideous serial murderer Karla Homolka (for people who don’t know her, Google is your friend – search Homolka & her husband, Paul Bernardo), right down to the spooky, half-lidded eyes. Poor girl!
so sorry to hear of your friend’s sister….. Dr Will would be a great host of BB. or you! or just about anyone beside Julie Chen! (Boring!)
Prayers are with your friend’s family.
I think having the coaches are so dumb!! This forced teams that probably never would have been together, to have to work together! It sucks for them because all they are doing is playing the coach’s game and being stuck with whoever their coach wants! I think either all or none of the coaches have to go in to play the game. If two go in and two stay as coaches, How stupid would that be! I think Boogie will go in also because all he see’s is the green.
Thank you, again, for the condolences. I really do appreciate them.
As far as Wil’s birthday party, you have to know CBS is going to show the nudity on air, so we’ll see that. I don’t watch After Dark, but I did have some people write me and tell me that it was hilarious to see, so I’m hoping to catch up on that at some point. I’m doing my best NOT to read any spoilers, so I can’t go right now and read them, otherwise I would know for myself what exactly was so funny about these folks partying it up with 6 beers and a bottle of wine.
The whole Shane-Danielle thing is just sad. She’s a smitten kitten and he’s a penis. I don’t feel bad for her, really, because until girls learn that guys are like this and they’re so obvious with their behavior, you can’t really feel sorry for that! He’s doing everything but telling her to her face he doesn’t like her, to spare her feelings (and also keep her vote), and she should really be smart enough to catch on to this.
Lastly, I would LOVE to host this show! Julie is married to the President of CBS, so I don’t think she’s losing her job anytime soon. She does a halfway decent job, she’s just lacks expression on her face, which is annoying to watch. Grow some inflections in your voice…
Just wanted to acknowledge your best friends’ loss 🙁
I was so sorry to read that.