I think the “All day, every day” line that Jenn spits out in the Big Brother live feeds commercial is the most exposure she’s gotten this entire season. That girl has NEVER been at any focal point of this season so far. If you lined everybody on this season against the line, and went off appearance alone, you would mostly assume that Jenn would be one of the more eccentric characters in the house, yet here she is nothing but quiet. Maybe it’s because nobody in the house is really her “type” of friend, but I have to say I was expecting a bit more from her. Perhaps it is her strategy to lay low and not be seen or heard and somehow earn those votes to win the money. That might get you the $50,000 second prize, but you won’t be winning the show with that strategy. It’s still early, I know, but when you think about it, there aren’t that many people left, so you definitely want to start making some moves soon.
We finally get to Dr. Will. He is in a pretaped scene, where he discusses his thoughts on the coaches and their strategies so far. Of course, he loves Boogie’s game so far. He goes on to say he “drafted” the perfect team, but that his ego may be getting in his way. Nothing like stating the obvious. He sums up the other three coaches with one word: lackluster. Wait, wait, I mispoke earlier in this blog. The TRUE line of the night goes to Dr. Will, with his “If Kermit the Frog and Ryan Seacrest had a baby, it’d be Dan.” Hahahahahahahahahaha!! Damn you, Dr. Will. That is perfect. I don’t think I would have ever thought of that, but it makes perfect, beautiful sense! He also points out that he definitely chose his team with the boob factor in mind. He doesn’t stick on Britney too long, just saying she can’t coach to save her life, seeing as how her players are getting themselves evicted from the house all on their own. Any good coach would have known not to allow their player to blow up like that, especially when they know what it would mean for the rest of their team. And, he considers Janelle an enigma. He says she can either redeem herself by winning this show or become a three-time loser. So true.
He then predicts that Ian will win the show. At this point, I don’t see why not, but I think they will realize that Ian is dangerous to keep around once we get down to 5 players or so, and then send him packing. I don’t really think he’s ever much of a threat to win HOH or the POV, so he can be dispensed of whenever. And, yes, I know he came close to winning the POV this week, but I just think it’s going to take the ultimate made-for-him type challenge in order for him to pull out the victory. But, if they are stupid enough to keep him around, he can easily win this game. Everyone in the house loves him and sympathizes with his weirdness, so why not, right? If Natalie can beat Russell in Survivor and Sandra can win it twice, I don’t doubt that Ian can win at Big Brother. Britney said it best in a backyard conversation she had this week with a few players, most jury members vote personally, not on game play. For some reason, this has become the trend in CBS reality shows. Why, I don’t know.
We hurry ourselves into the living room for the live vote. My wife actually pointed out that JoJo flashed us her underwear as she stood up to give her speech. And, I’m supposed to be the perverted one, right? She even paused the scene to make sure! Apparently, my wife likes up-skirt shots! I think I can live with this.
It was at this point, in my notes, I wrote down, “I feel as if the coaches are going to get to vote one week.” I feel like that was going to be one of the twists they offered up this season to spice things up that week. I’d go more into depth about this, but RoboChen went and ruined that at the end of the show with something I feel more strongly about ranting over.
And, what the f*ck is Wil wearing? Kid looks like a Suede Mailman. I know you’re gay, Wil, but that outfit was REALLY gay!
And, JoJo is voted out. Joe didn’t keep his word (I’m guessing she didn’t give him the cigarettes then), but you did see that he agonized over the decision. If I were you, Juggles, I’d watch out for a shank in the back out in the Yard. Prison retribution is a b*tch. It’s either being stabbed or taking it up the @ss. I guess both are forms of being stabbed. Whichever one sounds more pleasing to you is up to you. Nobody said prison life was fun.
During JoJo’s interview with Julie, I thought she said something that I felt everyone else should have felt like in the house. She said that after Willie blew up at Frank, she told him what he did was wrong and that he should have just pulled Frank aside and talked to him in private. That is exactly how the entire house should have felt. They should have just told him what he did was wrong and that if he had issues with someone again, to pull them aside and do it in private so it doesn’t get blown out of proportion the way the last one did. I still don’t think him calling the meeting and then yelling at Frank for Frank lying about what Willie did (“mocking” Wil) was enough for everyone to get all pissed off at him and hate his guts. Yes, in the Big Brother game, that’s enough to get you voted out, but to deserve exile? I don’t know if that was the right route. But, enough on Willie. Did everyone see that he was arrested yesterday? He got arrested for suspicion of drunk driving!! He even tried to run from the police! Google it, see his mugshot, laugh, and then let’s forget about that a-hole for the rest of our lives.
Anyone else surprised at Shane’s goodbye message to JoJo? First, he could only comment on Kara’s legs in her goodbye message, now his goodbye to JoJo is “I enjoyed our conversation about making out. It gave me nice dreams and I’m definitely going to masturbate to the thought of kissing you and your pierced mustached area.” Again, for all those still confused what the difference between a dick and a douche is, this guy is a douche.
Also, shut up JoJo! Geez, people are trying to say goodbye to you and you’re not even listening! I know you “have to be me” and all, but the least you can do is listen when people talk. Not “I know, I know, no I know” the whole time while they’re talking. You’ll get places in life because of your looks, but there won’t be much to your life, I don’t think. No real substance. You should pay more attention to things people say to you and try and realize that it’s not all about being Staten Island.
After we lose the second prettiest girl left in the house, we move on to the HOH competition. Ashley sucks it up, but obviously not that horribly considering “We don’t have all day” Joe scores less than she did. It ends up with Shane scoring the highest score possible and winning HOH. Oh, how things turn in the Big Brother house, right? My immediate thought was that he HAS to put up Frank. Frank put him up, showed no allegiance to him, so it seems like it would be the best move to make. But, after thinking about it, it’s probably not the smartest move, because chances are even if he didn’t win POV, his team probably wouldn’t vote him out. I guess it all depends on who he was sitting next to, but I think they’d band together and keep him. Although, he is the second biggest “threat” in the house in the eyes of the houseguests, so I think they may be persuaded to get rid of him this early. The way this game is going, it’s going to be a game of the weaklings at the end, with a final 3 of Ian, Ashley, and Wil/Danielle. If that’s the case, just let me know now Big Brother so I can stop watching and not waste another 60 days of my life in order to witness The Suede Mailman winning Big Brother.
Now, to the worst news that we ALL knew was coming. F*ck you, America’s Vote! F*ck and You. I am going to implore all of you reading to go and vote to NOT let these a-holes back in the house. I know RoboChen said it was only to “offer” them the opportunity to play in the game, but I have a feeling Dan, Britney, and Janelle would all take Julie up on that offer. Only Boogie understands that his best chance of winning is staying as a coach, seeing as how he has the team with all the power right now, but if he stays as a coach and the others choose to play, what does that do for his game? I guess we don’t have all the details on this twist and that’s probably how CBS wants it (or they don’t even know yet, either), but I still hate the idea. Obviously, Dan and Britney would move back into the house, since they both only have one player left, albeit Britney’s is probably the favorite to win every competition from here on out (that he’s allowed to play in). I just HATE that CBS is doing this. I mean, only two people have been voted out so far, you can’t wait another few weeks? I think this just goes to show that they had this plan all along, but now that there are two coaches with only one player left, they had to bump it up a few weeks before one, or two of the coaches were gone. I just think it would be a stupid twist, nobody would like it, and it wouldn’t cause any more action in the house. Ugh. This was the worst news that could have come. I feel like they are making this move because they are paying attention to the blogs and live feed chat rooms where people are talking about how boring people are, how the entertainment value is down, and also that viewership of the show is down. They need to do something to spice up the show, I understand that, but this is just stupid.
One last thing, Shane, you did NOT make any moves in the house this week. You won the Veto, that was it. After that, you had one conversation about working with Frank and Boogie and then just dreamt about shooting your semen onto JoJo’s upper lip while Ian went heavy with the tongue on your balls.
Until next week,
Written by:
Scott Ottersen
Email: ScottOttersen@yahoo.com
Facebook: http://facebook.com/ScottOttersen
Twitter: http://twitter.com/#!/ChokeOnMyBlog
I have been reading Reality Steve for years and have never commented (mostly because as a blogger/writer myself, I tend to read A LOT of blogs and only ever really have the time to comment on those that belong to people I am somehow otherwise connected to), but without even getting through the first page of the column today, this:
“no doubt ably (seriously, spell check is telling me this is how it’s spelled – f*ck you, Weber’s Dictionary, I feel like the doubt and ably should be connected and be one word)”
had me laughing so hard (WITH you, not AT you, I swear), that I just had to chime in and say… I think “undoubtedly” (get rid of the “no”) was the word you were looking for. 😉
If it makes you feel any better, I was writing about strep throat last week and trying to describe tonsils as “puss-y”. Yeah, there really is no good way to do that without it just looking really effing wrong.
Now that I’m here, I will just say that I am so sorry to hear about your friend’s sister and they will definitely be in my prayers.
Also, I have really enjoyed reading your recaps the last few seasons. Summer in Alaska is short, and when the weather is good I tend to be outside. As such, even though this is one of my favorite reality shows of all time, I STILL haven’t had a chance to even glance at this week’s episodes. So thanks for keeping me informed and in the loop. And I’ve got to agree, casting the last few years has been rough. But at least it’s better than The Glass House. Have you seen that train-wreck? ABC should be ashamed of themselves. And CBS should be laughing… because if that was supposed to be a Big Brother knock-off, holy hell did they ever miss the mark!
Now, to actually finish your column and find out what I’ve missed!
I am not in love at ALL with the idea of the coaches coming back into the house….although i got online to try and vote and it said the voting was already closed???? Will’s assessment of the game thus far was dead on. Thats why i love him so…its like he reads my mind! I dont really understand Janelle. Maybe i am just not watching the live feeds or maybe i missed something on the episode but she and Britney were working together and then all of a sudden Britney is on her own. Did I miss something?
A few thoughts:
– THANK YOU for telling the JoJo-Joe cigarette story. I’m assuming that’s what Britney was referring to in her exit video to JoJo about how she should have laid low? I found that comment confusing with how the show was edited because we didn’t see JoJo do much scrambling after the Veto Meeting.
– I know you seem to dislike people who fly under the radar, but I think it’s the smartest way to win. There’s a difference between flying under the radar and riding on someone’s coat-tail, where you do absolutely nothing to further your own game and are just there by default. I think this early it’s best to lay-low and then orchestra big moves later but make someone else do the dirty work and get the blood on their hands. Maybe I mixing my Survivor strategy up too much with my Big Brother strategy, but I sort of agree with Dr. Will that Ian has a decent shot of winning.
– I appreciate your continuation of the Dick vs. Douche comparison 🙂
– I think the coaches will all want back in. I agree that Boogie’s the only one who isn’t at an advantage to join as a player, but with Janelle, Dan and Britney being added, he and his team would get overthrown quickly. If I were Boogie I’d do it just because the other coaches will now have votes.
Thanks for a great recap! 🙂
Trust me, “alaska” (I can call you Alaska, right?), you wouldn’t be the first person to laugh at me, so I’m not offended at all. Someone sent me the correct word I WAS, no doubt ably looking for, but I appreciate your help, as well.
I also appreciate your words for my friends’ sister.
And, I have seen the first few episodes of The Glass House. Whereas, I do think the show is RIDICULOUSLY STUPID, I really believe they have a good premise, they just missed the boat on casting, as well. The people in there are all lame and are trying too hard. I think it would have done better to have been a winter season show and not directly competing with Big Brother. That was a dumb decision on ABCs part. But, nobody ever said these big executives were ever all that smart, right?
In all honesty, I don’t remember what the initial reason was that Janelle decided to not work with Britney was. It happened almost immediately after they made their pact, though. I think she just realized working with Boogie was a much better decision.
Also, @stina2bina (thanks for always commenting, by the way, love it), I was DYING laughing when I read about the cigarette trade, so I absolutely had to tell that story. As for “flying under the radar,” I don’t really have an issue with people who do that, because it’s even possible for people like Frank/Shane to “fly under the radar” as long as there are players like Willie in the game. But, for the most part, if you are “flying under the radar,” chances are you aren’t doing anything and the only reason you end up making “big” moves later on is because, guess what, there is nobody else left! But, I do agree that is the way to approach the social aspect of the game. Never make waves, don’t lie to 10 different people, don’t start a showmance, don’t gloat after you win something, just be funny, actively seek out non-game related conversations with people, and stay away from all the drama, don’t even gossip about it after it’s done and over, stay above it and you’ll be “under” the radar.
that last paragraph is pretty awesome. lol
I have to agree, the casting sucks this year and I DO NOT want to see those coaches go into the game but I’m sure most of voting public will disagree… because they are fans of douchebaggery.
I’ve got a sneaking suspicion that America’s Vote is just a formality, though I did vote no the maximum ten times. Everyone I talk to and any site I see is almost unanimous in their distaste for this “twist.” Yet, somehow the “vote” will pass and here come the coaches into the game. I’ve always believed that CBS guides the players in the game, but it would go a long way in restoring my faith if it turns out I’m wrong and the vote doesn’t pass.
Can someone please tell me why the house decided on JoJo over Dani? Was it the showmance with Shane?
New comer to your site and you crack me up each blog so far!!
Scott, my most sincere condolences to your best friend on the loss of his sister and my sympathies to his sister’s spouse and children. It’s just heartbreaking.
Thanks for, once again, an awesome recap – especially for the Power of Veto episode, which I missed because my TV lost its feed that evening due to severe thunderstorms in the area.
At least I had the unmitigated joy of watching Jo-Jo get voted out of the house! Sorry I can’t agree with you that Jo-Jo is “pretty” – I found her downright fugly with her perpetually-wrinkled forehead and her ugly mouth (which looks like it has spent its entire life as a petulant pout on Jo-Jo’s face).
As a veteran insomniac, I have particularly appreciated watching BB After Dark several times over the last couple of weeks. I don’t know why BB didn’t show any of Jo-Jo’s attempts to ‘work’ the other contestants in her efforts to remain in the house, because she certainly was very actively trying to do so. She failed miserably in every attempt (maybe that’s why BB didn’t show it), but she did try, inarticulately lobbying Ashley, Jenn, Ian & Frank during the time I was watching.
Britney’s imitation of Jo-Jo was spot-on and hilarious! And I like Britney – she is followed frequently in the After Dark shows and her sarcasm/humour is unrivaled by anyone else in the house.
For all her “hard-rock, punk-rock, emo” look, Janelle is actually a very sweet person. And, unlike Danielle, she doesn’t have to tell the others that that’s what she’s like. They already know.
Joe (Juggles) – *after* the fact of Jo-Jo taking back her ciggies – spoke to someone (I think it was Frank) in the storeroom about his vote-for-cigarette deal, and suddenly “found” some integrity, saying he wasn’t going to sell-out for cigarettes because it was just wrong. Hahahahahaha!
I didn’t watch the season with Boogie (& Dr. Will), so I really don’t “get” the history; I’m guessing I miss a lot of the inside jokes and references to their past playing methods.
Watch for lots of game this week with the other players trying to get in good with Shane & Britney. So far, Dan & Danielle have got some kind of alliance in-the-works with the Douche & Britney, and the four of them are trying to figure out a way to woo some of the weaker players.
Finally (sorry for the long post!), I would just HATE it if BB allowed the coaches back into the game-proper. Let them play out their own game for the $100K and leave the new contestants alone! Jeeeeeeezzzzzze!!
Condolences and prayers to your BFs family. No words can comfort a loss of a loved one.
If Frank is thinking theres even a remote chance of the coaches coming into the game, he SHOULD be working with Shana to get them out ASAP. Janelle & Boogie would win too many comps if they get rid of Shana too quickly.
@cfolliott – I agree that CBS has every intention of putting the coaches in, regardless of what the public is REALLY saying. Its their only option of even attempting to make the season bearable after their brilliant casting people effed up royally.
After having to endure Rachels whining, tantrums, crying and over-the-top mood swings, I was really hoping they would bring it back to basics with newbies who had game and personalities.
Sigh….
Hey Scott,
First off, I want to tell you how much respect that I have for you. A few weeks ago, I left you a message that I wasn’t happy with your column. You posted a reply that I just read. It means a lot that you actually read my comment and responded to it, wanting to know what I didn’t like about your column. In my post, I think I said something like “be more yourself.” I have read your last few columns and want to give you my condolences for your best friend’s wife’s passing. And also to let you know that I have enjoyed your columns much more than the first one back. I am glad you’re back writing and look forward to future posts. Take care.
Wow, a lot to comment about in the comments, let me see if I can concise it down. I will say that they decided on JoJo because they know they can get rid of Danielle at any time and also CBS told them not to vote her out because they want Dan back in the game with rest of coaches. Also, I never really said I thought JoJo was pretty, just that she is pretty-ish. And, the ratings are down this season and CBS knows the coaches twist was a dumb idea so of course they are letting them back in the game no matter what the votes are. And, “lucky,” I appreciate your kind words and that you like me again! 🙂
And, I want to thank everyone for their condolences. I appreciate that so greatly.
Oops! In my earlier post, I named Janelle as the punk-rock chick … actually, it’s Jenn. Sorry about that.
I receive/watch the After Dark show from 2:00 a.m. to 5:00 a.m. (here in Ontario, Canada), and was up with my good friend, Insomnia, and watching the whole thing this morning.
Very crazy show, it being Wil’s birthday!
The show started with all 4 coaches + Danielle + Shane enjoying an outdoor sushi-bar feast as a “prize” of some kind that coach Dan had won. Don’t know what that was all about …
The rest of the houseguests, indoors, went wild celebrating Wil’s birthday. Their meagre alcohol supply consisted of 6 cans of beer and one bottle of wine & the bottle of wine was given to Wil to have on his own as his birthday gift. Much (very loud) hilarity ensued.
When the sushi-eaters returned to the house (kindly bringing with them a few plates of dessert from their feast to share with the others), things got REALLY loud and very silly.
I’ll be interested to see if BB shows Ian once again “streaking” through the kitchen totally bare-assed (damn, that guy’s butt is hairy!), covering his package with the same hat he used the first time.
Wil went nude as well – also covering his assets with a hat (his own, thank god!) – in a mad dash to the pool for a very short skinny dip. By the way, Wil has a great ass.
At one point, they actually played spin-the-bottle. Don’t know what BB will show, but highlights included a fairly long kiss, complete with tongues, between Ashley & Boogie (!!ewwwww!!!); a kiss between Shane and his “stalker” Danielle (passionate on her part; not on his); and a peck between Ian & Ashley.
Highlights on How-Pathetic-is-Danielle?: Her giggling with Janelle and Brittany about her “first kiss” with Shane; her heart-to-heart talk with Brittany about why Shane was “acting so weird” after their kiss and not looking at her; and the most uncomfortable scene of them all …. Danielle laying in bed with Shane, stroking his arm and talking about their “first kiss” while he’s laying there with his eyes closed, yawning hugely and talking about how tired he is! (As in, fer-gawd’s-sake-girl-get-the-flock-out-of-here-and-leave-me-alone-so-I-can-sleep-without-you!).
Danielle is going to be enormously embarrassed when watching the show after the fact when she realizes that (1) Shane was the only person who voted to have her evicted when she was up against Jo-Jo; (2) Shane was “into” Jo-Jo; and (3) Shane was/is NOT into Danielle … and that she’s missing every single massive cue that he’s giving her about “not being into you”.
P.S. To anyone from Ontario, Canada … Ashley looks very much like the hideous serial murderer Karla Homolka (for people who don’t know her, Google is your friend – search Homolka & her husband, Paul Bernardo), right down to the spooky, half-lidded eyes. Poor girl!
so sorry to hear of your friend’s sister….. Dr Will would be a great host of BB. or you! or just about anyone beside Julie Chen! (Boring!)
Prayers are with your friend’s family.
I think having the coaches are so dumb!! This forced teams that probably never would have been together, to have to work together! It sucks for them because all they are doing is playing the coach’s game and being stuck with whoever their coach wants! I think either all or none of the coaches have to go in to play the game. If two go in and two stay as coaches, How stupid would that be! I think Boogie will go in also because all he see’s is the green.
Thank you, again, for the condolences. I really do appreciate them.
As far as Wil’s birthday party, you have to know CBS is going to show the nudity on air, so we’ll see that. I don’t watch After Dark, but I did have some people write me and tell me that it was hilarious to see, so I’m hoping to catch up on that at some point. I’m doing my best NOT to read any spoilers, so I can’t go right now and read them, otherwise I would know for myself what exactly was so funny about these folks partying it up with 6 beers and a bottle of wine.
The whole Shane-Danielle thing is just sad. She’s a smitten kitten and he’s a penis. I don’t feel bad for her, really, because until girls learn that guys are like this and they’re so obvious with their behavior, you can’t really feel sorry for that! He’s doing everything but telling her to her face he doesn’t like her, to spare her feelings (and also keep her vote), and she should really be smart enough to catch on to this.
Lastly, I would LOVE to host this show! Julie is married to the President of CBS, so I don’t think she’s losing her job anytime soon. She does a halfway decent job, she’s just lacks expression on her face, which is annoying to watch. Grow some inflections in your voice…
Just wanted to acknowledge your best friends’ loss 🙁
I was so sorry to read that.