Janelle is telling her team (Wil, Joe, and Ashley) that they need to kiss some @ss this week and promise Shane safety next, tell him they want to work with him, basically doing anything he wants without showing how upset they are at being nominated. Joe and Wil tell her that is not the type of game they want to play and that they are, in fact, pissed off and want to go tell him that, rather than kiss up to him and pretend everything is all hunky dory. The show goes more into focusing on how Joe is upset about this coming from his coach, but in actuality it was Wil With One L who was pissed about her telling them this. He went a whole day without talking to Janelle because of it and even went through the house telling everyone how he didn’t want to work with Janelle anymore because she wanted him to play a different game than he wanted. I can understand where he is coming from, but he’s not even nominated, so her saying those things was more geared towards Joe and Ashley, but at the same time, she’s right. I know it sucks to swallow your pride and suck up to someone you don’t like because they have power over you, but in the game of Big Brother, that is exactly what you need to do. Big Brother is just as much a social game as it is competition-based. If anything, it weighs heavier on the social aspect than it does competitions. So, sucking up to the HOH is all a part of winning the show. If Wil doesn’t want to understand that, oh well, Janelle will just be proven right once he’s voted out. I happen to think Janelle gave sound advice to her team. Geez, what’s with all the coach praise this blog, huh? Are they actually stepping their games up and realizing they are coaches and need to help their team, not just themselves?!?
Joe goes up and talks with Shane, starts off speaking in a mild manner, telling Shane he wants to work with him, but Shane turns into Douche Mode and starts bragging about his exploits in the game so far, which pushes Joe to snap a little, showing how upset he is about being up on the block and possible going home as the target this week. I was with you for a second there, Juggles, but you kind of lost it. Things definitely aren’t looking up for you at this point in time.
We head on outside for the Veto Competition, where resident genius, Ian, tells us it’s a circus! Really? What tipped it off for you, buddy? Was it the clowns? The decorations? I don’t know, I looked at what was out there and thought it might be an apple-bobbing contest.
Oh, and someone please tell Ashley she has NO SHOT! We know you need to win, but really and truly, I think I have a better chance of finding Jimmy Hoffa’s body and carrying him around like Weekend at Bernie’s without anybody even realizing I’m carrying around a skeleton of a dead man.
Seriously, though, I said it last week and I’ll say it again. We NEED more of Ashley in these episodes. Her “gentle push” idea was straight hilarity! So many sexual ways I can go with this, I don’t even know where to begin. But, I do know that the folks over at Vivid Videos are already hard at work banging out the script for “Gentle Push,” the story of how Ashley Iocco’s @ss ended up on the floor, from the bed.
And…Wil With One L is out first. Isn’t this the guy that Frank and Shane both agreed was the biggest physical threat in the house besides them? Can we go back to that conversation and just erase it? Or, can we dub it the dumbest agreement in the history of Big Brother? Seriously, this guy must be hammering out push-ups all around the house that we aren’t seeing, because I don’t know how those two can actually believe he is their biggest threat. I think every girl in the house has now beat him in a competition. If it was a hair-braiding physical event, sure he’d win, but if involves anything with athleticism, it is 100% apparent he might as well not even show up for the action.
Shane ends up in a duel with the Gently Pushed Vagina Lips and Shane pulls out the victory like the penis head he is. This makes three Power of Veto wins in a row now, for Shane. But, yes Juggles, YOU are the biggest threat in the house. I wrote down a note here to make fun of Shane in his pink tank top in his diary room interview, but I think this guy makes enough fun of himself with the way he comes off. He later on wore a pink bathing suit, as well. I’m not saying there is anything wrong with men wearing pink, but a pink tank top and bathing suit? That’s a tad questionable.
Ok, earlier I talked about how Britney stepped it up as a coach, now I may have to go on record with saying how much I love her now! And, I don’t mean this in a “she’s hot” kind of way (although, she is very pretty and somehow got prettier this season than her last, when I didn’t think she was all that pretty), but in a I’d probably have a great time hanging out with her type of way! Earlier this season, she busted out her JoJo impersonation and floored me. But, this time, her Joe impersonation was WAY TOO HILARIOUS!!!! And, that is saying something coming from me, because I typically don’t find women all that funny. I think if Britney had a little more inflection in her voice and her speech patterns, she would be the girl version of me. And, in case you were wondering, Britney, that is the highest praise you can receive! Even her subtle, “We need to get Joe’s recipes before he leaves” was hilarious to me. She’s set the tone so far, now I’m just waiting for her to seal the deal as the funniest woman I’ve ever “known.” I think, right now, that distinction goes to Sarah Silverman, because she is the only female comedian of which I’ve watched a stand-up routine and laughed more than a few times. Ball is in your court, Haynes (that’s Britney’s last name, in case you didn’t know).
Janelle, Wil, and Ashley approach Shane and Britney in the HOH room, in order to talk deals. And, by Janelle, Wil, and Ashley, I really just mean Janelle. As much as these players talk about how they hate that their coaches are playing with them, I think Wil, Joe, and Ashley, along with Frank, Ian, and Jenn, can all thank their coaches for saving their @sses. I don’t think any of those players could have done a better, more convincing job than Janelle did at proving how serious she was in regards to working with Shane and Britney. Yes, it is convenient that she is doing this while Shane is HOH and two of her team members are on the block, but just because a person is desperate doesn’t mean they aren’t trustworthy. I thought her strategy of handing over her wedding ring was brilliant. I’m also going to say that, if I were Shane, I would have kept it. But, only for a night. I know how sacred wedding rings are, so I wouldn’t have kept it for the entire 3 weeks, but as a symbolic gesture, I would have kept it overnight. As much as we all know how Janelle goes to the power each week, I happen to believe her pact with Britney and Shane will be solid. Of course, until one of Boogie’s players wins HOH and wants to get out Shane, that is…then, wedding ring or not, she’ll be sending him packing!!
And, again, this is where I have to praise Britney for her coaching. I think it is poignant that she pointed out that it’s nice and all that Janelle is spewing out all this agreement talk, but it’s not Janelle that is playing the game. Shane doesn’t need Janelle’s wedding ring, he needs Ashley’s spray tan machine, Joe’s cutlery set, and Wil’s stealth speedo underwear as collateral. Janelle can say all she wants that she’ll keep Shane safe, but in the end, like Britney points out, she doesn’t know if she can trust Janelle’s PLAYERS to do the same. Britney really stepped it up here for Shane.
Janelle begs Joe to go talk with Shane again and to put his face between Shane’s legs for a second or two, in order to save himself this week. Joe does, and follows Janelle’s orders, and I actually have to commend Juggles here. I thought he played his conversation perfectly. I think he came off genuine in his desire to work with Shane, in the future. I think he played his place perfectly, telling Shane that he knows, and understands, that Janelle is going to continually save Wil, and forget about him and Ashley, in the end, so he would have no qualms going against his team in order to work with Shane. He gives Shane the old ‘I’m hanging on a cliff’ scenario that we ALL use in our daily lives. But, overall, I think had Janelle not already saved Joe’s ass, Joe would have come pretty close to doing it on his own here.
And, this is why I believe that Janelle outcoached Mike Boogie this week. Mike is learning the lesson that even if you have a deal with a person in the house, you always go back for reassurance. You don’t let everyone else go up to the HOH room and talk deals while you sit out by the pool, work out, and leave the HOH be. You need to block conversations from happening, you need to play chess with the HOH and his coach, you need to tell him how he’s good next week and that your entire team is on board still. Mike dropped the ball for his player this week. And, Frank dropped his own balls this week, as well. You can pick them up at coach check on your way out the door.
I have never laughed so hard!! That is some funny shit about the raccoon! I wouldn’t mess with one of them critters either, might get rabies…..
If the new contestants were smart they would start picking off all the coaches, otherwise they are all in trouble. But I agree with you, Britney has become so much more likeable, doesn’t seem like such a twit now.
I’m so glad me almost dying brought such enjoyment to your day! 🙂
Something I forgot to mention in my blog was the dynamic of Britney now. I really was liking her as a coach, but think I’m going to end up not liking her as much as a player, seeing as how she might be joking around less, now that she has to plot and scheme to save herself…this could be troubling.
Your whole commentary about Danielle becoming a Stage 5 Clinger after kissing Shane and the producers having to hide every knife in the house made me DIE of laughter…and I’m at work in a quiet office, thanks a lot 😛
I think it would have been way more entertaining if they had let the coaches enter the game if they wanted to, but not make all of them. That way we’d have a weird mix of “teams” and individuals, which could make the strategy really interesting. Boogie’s completely toast now.
I agree that CBS dropped the ball with that decision. I, too, think it would have added such a strong dynamic to the house if there were players, veterans, and one coach still left standing. Who would the players vote to get out: the veterans or Boogie’s players? Every conversation Boogie had after that would have been classic, because nobody would have wanted to tell him diddly dick! 🙂
As for Danielle, if you thought she was a Stage 5 Clinger before, just wait until you know more about some things happening now and we’re going to have to create a whole new category of Clinger-ness for her…
This was BY FAR your best blog ever. I was holding in my laughter as best as I could. 🙂 “Frank’s bushy haired butthole…” LOL.
I also agree that the coaches should have been able to decide IF they wanted back in the game or not, as individuals and not forced to enter if only one person said yes. That would have created a better dynamic-
Still my favorite reality competition show-no matter what.
And you are still my favorite Big Brother blogger… 🙂
I didn’t get Shane and the lint roller thing either? What was the point of that? And the pink tank top – I’m all for guys wearing pink – but it was more the cut of the tank top that disturbed me more than anything – it was rather feminine. Or maybe I’m not up to date on men’s tank tops and its the new style. I guess he could have went with Wil’s styling and wore a little pink speedo with a blazer…I am glad he took off his 90’s shell necklace though. Probably was worried it would give him tan lines – that guy has a wicked tan going. Looking at him next to Ian now is rather funny.
I think the coaches – and Britney in particular – getting better is just a result of time – I think it took some time for everyone to get to know one another, get use to the game (the coaches would have had a leg up on that one), build some trust, and get to know strengths and weaknesses. Now that the coaches have spent enough time – they can really start to be effective. So I honestly don’t think they are better than they use to be – we don’t have anything to compare it to, to be able to judge that. But Britney is surprising me from what I expected – but like you said, she has only one person to concentrate on.
Also – I don’t know if Dan did the right coaching thing with Danielle. I think he is use to coaching guys, not girls, and that might be a good thing to say to guys, but I don’t think it was a good thing to say to her. Okay – let me clarify – the message itself I agree with, but it was the delivery that was not right for her. If Danielle was a different type of female – like Janelle – she might have responded well to Dan’s first strategy of throwing her in the deep end to swim, or this strategy of telling her to lay off the emotion. But, I think its a mistake b/c he doesn’t get her personality – she needs some support, some hand holding, and really subtle guidance, I don’t think she will respond well to his comments. I think by him saying that, she will fight that much harder to do the opposite – and want to cling to Shane more (which sounds like this is what she’s doing). She seems like a smitten teenager – and as most parents know, as soon as you tell your girl they shouldn’t see that boy, she’s gonna sneak out of the house to prove you wrong, and go see that boy. I think Dan’s fundamental mistake was picking all girls for his team – I actually don’t mind Dan – but he’s used to coaching guys, not girls, and I honestly think he has no idea how to do so.
Oh – and Scott, I think you might want to rethink having Juggles as your life coach, haha. He might make you and your wife breakfast it bed – but he’d make you get up to eat it at 5am, and shout ‘EAT THIS PEAR, ITS RIPE!….BRUSH YOUR TEETH FOR 3 MINUTES SCOTT’ haha. I’m pretty sure you’d have a massive headache from all his help!
I am starting to think, Cndgirl, that you’re a lot like me and you like to disagree with people just to disagree, play Devil’s Advocate a little! 🙂 With my entire comment about Dan, I am 100% right. When you are a coach, all you can do is coach. You don’t get to play. So, all you can tell your players is the right thing to do, what they then do with that information is on them. Dan may not have said the words he needed to say, in the right tone, in the right way, but he said the right words. Whether or not she listens is on her. So, Dan was still making a good coaching move, but Danielle is such a crappy player that she’s not going to pay attention. She’s a smitten girl, and like you said, no matter what a smitten girl is told, she’s not going to listen. Especially when the guy she’s smitten over keeps “messing” with her head. You girls just never listen, so as a girl, yourself, I’d expect you to take the girls side and say that Dan needs to coddle her more, hold her hand, etc, when you and I (and everyone else) know that it still won’t matter, because the next time Shane goes and looks at Danielle, she’s back to being smitten. 🙂
As for you, Christine0622, I love you.
Okay…yep…maybe a little 🙂 but in a fun-debate kind of way! It’s an interesting way to learn and get different perspectives…
Hmmm – you do have a point about no matter what he says she probably won’t listen, so maybe he did need to take the hard line. It might be the right thing to say – problem is, he won’t end up accomplishing what he needs or wants to accomplish that way. He won’t have a chance. He might of at least had a chance a different way – but it does take longer and one doesn’t have much time in the BB house, so maybe that wouldn’t work either. And – well I don’t consider myself a stereotypical female, so you might be making an assumption there about whose side I’d take (I would have tried to get a team of all guys to coach if it was me – as I’m not much into drama – much more into logic) 🙂
Have you noticed how Frank blinks? It literally takes him five seconds to complete each blink.
The whole Ian/Britney conversation made me think of a movie I’m sure Ian has seen. Ghostbusters pointed out that “if someone asks if you are a God, YOU SAY YES!” Just like if an HOH’s coach asks if their player will be safe next week.
Hahaha, nice Ghostbusters reference!! Love it. Wish I had come up with that one. 🙂
As for Ian, this guy keeps talking about how he wants to masturbate in the HOH room when he wins…he even mentioned it during the competition last night! Total creeper.
Also, Cndgirl, if I had a penny for every girl who told me she wasn’t the “stereotypical girl,” I’d be a pretty rich man! 🙂 I’m not lumping EVERY girl into the same category, but I’m just sayin’ 🙂
Not sure whether it’s kosher to talk about who won the HOH yesterday, so I won’t … but I will say it’s a game-changer for at least the coming week.
Funny, Scott, that you mentioned Ian’s seeming inability to be still and his toe-walking as I was struck by that again last night, too. I think he has (mild) tourettes syndrome. One of my family members has 3 kids who all have it & Ian reminds me of them, from the odd walking gait/toe-walking to the social awkwardness to the inappropriate comments.
I have to admit I was pi$$ed off at BB bringing the coaches into the game, but I’m over it. I think it will make things much more interesting.
Frankly (<— see what I did there?), I was cheering when Dan tried to tell Danielle to pull her head out of her ass … or out of Shane's ass. Shane is going to play Danielle big-time & she's cruising for a world of heartache.
My prediction is that Janelle will be one of the players to be put up for eviction this coming week. That may just be wishful thinking on my part – I can't stand her.
Which reminds me: I'm convinced one of the BB camera operators has a permanent boner over Janelle. TWICE in the After Dark programming last week, when Jannelle's back was to the camera, he panned the camera from her feet aaallllll the way up her body (lingering on her butt); and this week, when she took a bath in the HOH bathroom (by the way, although she had a bikini on, when she came out of the change area to get into the bathtub she had a nip-slip, which I'm sure made the cameraman experience a nocturnal emission), again the camera panned her entire body, starting at her feet aaalllll the way up her body, this time lingering on her bosom. Wow.
Hey, maybe Ian was manning the camera! (Joke!)
I'm really enjoying your recaps, Scott. Stay away from dangerous wildlife.
Cheers to all.
That’s really creepy if the cameramen are doing that. Ew. Makes you wonder with all that footage they have, if they ever take any home for themselves…double ew.
LMAO @ finding Jimmy Hoffa’s body and carrying it around – LOL – hilarious recap.
I don’t mind the coaches joining the competition, really, but here’s what I wanted to go differently:
An eviction this week
&
Let whichever coaches wanted to join join and whoever didn’t (Boogie) remain as a coach.
Shane’s pink tank top is cut just the same as Ryan’s white one on “The Bachelorette” (like some kind of woman’s undershirt!).
Although, nevermind, if Boogie was the only one to remain as coach there wouldn’t be a coaches’ competition anymore. 😀 But it would have been interesting if most of the coaches wanted to remain as coaches!
Jeepers Jumping Jackrabbits! Is there any way to contact the BB producers and have them ask Joe to stop PICKING at himself?!?!
It’s a damned good thing they edit it out of the broadcast, but on the After Dark programming Joe demonstrates a very serious problem with PDS (Personal Dirt Syndrome).
He picks his nose constantly; or scratches his nose/ears/face; or reaches over his back and squeezes/scratches whatever zits or other growths he may be incubating there …
THEN he looks at whatever he has produced through his picking, and, even worse …
HE CLEANS whatever is caught under his fingernails with his TEETH!
Holy cr*p, it’s SO gross!!