And, here’s Frank again with his stupid game play, saying, “I need Danielle’s vote, so I guess I’ll go talk to Dan.” No, moron, go talk to Danielle. All of these players have been talking to each other about how they know they’re not playing their coach’s game, they are going to vote the way they want, align themselves with whoever they want, so on and so on, yet every time you turn around, they’re talking to the coach instead of the player. You want Danielle’s vote, Frank, go talk to her. And, when you do, don’t tickle her and chase her around the house, talk to her about working together and her keeping you in the house (yes, Frank turned into the tickle monster inside the house this week, even tickling Dan and Boogie). He also flirted with Wil a lot this week and Janelle even thinks Frank may be bisexual, but she didn’t want to tell Wil that, in case his penis started having second thoughts about voting out Frank’s bushy-haired butthole.
Dan talks to Danielle about the thought of getting out Janelle’s players and aligning themselves with a stronger alliance (Frank & Shane, Boogie/Brit). Then, Danielle made some googly-eyed comment about Shane and he went off on her about how she needs to stop liking him. “You’re not going to date after you get out of the Big Brother house. You’re not going to get married…” I hate that I’m about to say this, but I have to give it up to Dan for this whole segment. That was some sound coaching advice. I happen to agree that she needs to cool it with the Shane stuff and clear her head a little more, because it’s going to end up biting her in her Harley-Davidson Miss September 2012 @ss (seriously, Harley-Davidson must be desperate if she’s a calendar girl – she’s pretty, but not Calendar girl pretty)! Dan has a major point with that siding with Frank would be an advantage to Danielle, because it keeps targets in the house and also helps keep her safe, because with Frank and Shane on her side, if she’s up on the block against one of Janelle’s players, it would be a strong possibility that one of her allies would win a Veto and take her off. I feel a little disgusted that I had to approve of something Dan did, so I’m going to go take a cold shower, wash off this Dan dirt I have on me!
Jesus, Julie really is the worst reality show host in the history of reality show hosts! “Oh, sorry to hear that.” She just has no improvisational skills. And, the questions she asks are just plain stupid and nobody even cares to hear the answers. “Ian, you seemed to get emotional when Boogie gave you that $3,000. Do you already have plans for that money?” Seriously, we’re playing a game of Big Brother, with tons of twists and turns, tons of secrets going around, and you want to ask what his plans are for that money? And, asking Shane and Danielle to rate their kiss on a scale of 1 to 10? Are we taking a work satisfaction survey here, or something? Get down to some dirt, call people out for their actions, make fun of somebody, show a little emotion in your frigid, botoxed-out face! If the cast you are given is lame, you need to offer up some excitement! I understand that hosting a TV show isn’t as easy as it looks, I’m not saying I know someone that could do a better job (well, I do), but seriously, I hate when people get jobs based off of who they know and not how well they do it! I can’t imagine how boring she is on The View or whatever stupid women-based morning talk show she’s on.
OH SNAP!! Frank’s dad is Sid Vicious?!?!?!? I think I remember hearing this before, but didn’t pay much attention to it, but what?!? Any of us men who grew up in the late-80s, early-90s loved wrestling! I don’t care if you were Ian-like as a child, you watched wrestling in the late-80s and early-90s! You had to. We had nothing else to do, or watch. We didn’t have the internet, cable wasn’t really around, our parents still made us go to church, but once you got home from church on Sunday, you planted your @ss in the TV room with your dad and brothers/friends and watched Hulk Hogan destroy his opponent, who always seemed to be some bum they just found off the street that very day, seeing as how he didn’t have any cool nickname, just walked into the ring, with the ring announcer saying, “Wrestling in this corner, weighing 285 pounds, Dave Johnson.” Yeah, Dave, you stood a chance! But, seriously, Frank’s dad being Sid Vicious is pretty damn cool. I don’t get into wrestling anymore, but any time I hear one of those old, familiar names, it brings me back to when I actually liked hanging out with my dad on a weekend, eating my mom’s bacon sandwiches, watching Sid Vicious and Rowdy Roddy Piper kick some plain man @ss!
And, now we move on to the crappy part of the episode! Seriously, Julie, whatever “results” are in your hand are complete BS! There is no way in the world the majority of the viewers voted to have the coaches come back into the game. This was your plan all along and is exactly why there is no jury right now, even though with the numbers you are down to, there should be. It’s also why the coaches had key holes on the memory wall. It’s also probably what you told those 4 would happen when they first signed up to do the show. “Yeah guys, we know we did horrible on casting this year again, we just don’t give a sh*t anymore, we still rake in millions off of these idiots at home who pay to watch you online for 24 hours even though you don’t do anything all day, so just pretend that you’re coaches for 3 weeks and we’ll promise that all of your players won’t get knocked out and you’ll be back in the game. Ok? Great, here’s your checks right now.”
And…America did in fact want these morons to come back in the game. Great!
Dear CBS,
F*ck You.
Sincerely,
Scott Ottersen
Geez, and how obvious is it that they wanted the coaches back in the game? And, how more obvious did they make it that they wanted Frank to stay in the game, knowing that if he went, there would be nobody left to try and fend off these coaches from winning the show, seeing how the rest of these geeks can’t win anything! Why would they make it so only ONE coach has to say yes? Why can’t it be that three coaches can say yes and the other can stay as a coach, if they want? What’s the difference there? It’s not like that clears them for the $100,000 title. Their player still has to win the game!
And, why not have an eviction? I don’t get that part. So, we just wasted an entire week of Big Brother, basically. And, it really kind of screws Shane over, seeing as how he’s now been outed as wanting Frank out and going back on their alliance. Yes, I know that wasn’t guaranteed, but if I’m Frank or Boogie, I see through whatever junk they were trying to feed me all week. They both know Shane wanted Frank out, otherwise he would have just put Ian up, since he was the one saying he might put Shane up if he won HOH! You can’t be that stupid, Boogie! Frank is, but you can’t be.
Oh, and if they don’t accept the offer, some evicted houseguests may come back into the game. Please. Does anybody care if Jodi, Kara, or JoJo come back? None of them were doing anything in the game, so that doesn’t make any difference. Sure, it adds a vote to one of the “teams,” but still. Every time they’ve brought back an evicted houseguest, they were almost immediately sent packing the very next week, or the week after that!
I’m just dumbfounded. I just don’t get why they didn’t just have the eviction vote earlier in the episode than usual, THEN revealed America’s Vote, then had the Coaches vote, then have the HOH competition. It made no sense to skip the eviction this week. But, like I said, I’m not going to be angry. Let’s just get to the coaches voting.
Britney is first to enter and she votes to “reset” the game. Come on, how lame is that button? Just have them answer with their Magic 8 Ball yes or no and let’s get this going. I have to say I’m a little surprised Britney voted yes. I get it that she only has one player left in the game, but she self-admittedly talks about how bad she is at this game, how she can’t win competitions for herself, and Shane is at the top of the food chain in this house, so I would have thought she’d be smart enough to see that she’s better off as a coach. She has to know that if she enters the game, she’s going to be a huge target just because she was a coach, and she’s not good enough to get herself out of danger.
Boogie is next and just wasting our time since we already know they’re back in the game. Boogie is the only smart coach, he votes no, even though he has to assume that if he doesn’t reset, he’s going to lose his best player 5 minutes from now, in Frank. But, he knows that if he enters the game, he’s automatically the biggest threat in the house, so he really had no choice but to say no. I hate to say it, but Boogie is probably going to be the first person voted out now. I’m sure he’ll be working some deals to stay this week, but I just feel as if no matter who wins this HOH, he’s going up at the very least, if not home.
Dan votes to reset. We all knew that was coming.
And, Janelle votes to reset. We all knew that was coming, too. She’s just too much of a competitor to want to continue sitting on the sidelines. You just know she wants to get in those Veto competitions and give Shane a run for his money since she knows nobody else can.
I will say that this twist is going to add some spice to the game. I do understand that. But, my anger just comes from the principle of it all. I don’t like being told that they are going to be coaches and that they’re playing a whole different game than the others in the house, then just a couple weeks later get told that they get to come back in the game! I just don’t like it. And, I definitely don’t like it for Jodi, Kara, JoJo, and even Willie. All four of those players should sue CBS and the producers of Big Brother for ruining their chances at $500,000. I know their contracts probably stated that “anything” can happen, but that is just complete bullsh*t. I know I’d be pissed if I were a player in this game, seeing as how these coaches just got free rides for the first few weeks and now get to waltz in the game. But, like I said, it will add some spice to the show, I happen to believe this will light a fire under everyone’s behind and get this game moving in the right direction. I expect a ton of alliance-shifting, a ton of deal-making, maybe some fights, and probably Boogie’s eviction next Thursday.
It was an endurance competition, so we didn’t get to see who won, but if you’re interested in finding out, just google it! Or email me. I won’t post spoilers on this blog, facebook, or Twitter because I know a lot of people don’t like reading spoilers, but if you wanted to discuss what you think is going to happen with who ended up winning the HOH, feel free to email me or message me on facebook/twitter. I think that the person who won this week is going to flip the power in this house!
I feel like I had more to say, but completely lost my train of thought. I think I’m still shaking off that near-death experience. More coffee, please. Speaking of coffee, I had some coffee bean residue floating around in my coffee yesterday and it reminded me of the coffee I had when I was in Jamaica. The reason it reminded me of that was because I almost threw up when I tasted this bean residue. Almost throwing up made me think of Jamaica because the coffee there was the COMPLETE OPPOSITE!! Honestly, that coffee was the most amazing thing I’ve ever drank in my life. I had it straight black and I HAAAAAAAATE black coffee. Every time I see someone drink coffee with nothing in it, I want to punch them in the throat because that’s disgusting. Especially if it’s Folgers or something generic like that. But, the coffee in Jamaica, I seriously would have eaten that coffee bean straight out of a goat’s @sshole. There were plenty of goats just tied up on the side of the road, so this is an option.
I’ll leave you with that. Be good.
Written by:
Scott Ottersen
Email: ScottOttersen@yahoo.com
Facebook: http://facebook.com/ScottOttersen
Twitter: http://twitter.com/#!/ChokeOnMyBlog
I have never laughed so hard!! That is some funny shit about the raccoon! I wouldn’t mess with one of them critters either, might get rabies…..
If the new contestants were smart they would start picking off all the coaches, otherwise they are all in trouble. But I agree with you, Britney has become so much more likeable, doesn’t seem like such a twit now.
I’m so glad me almost dying brought such enjoyment to your day! 🙂
Something I forgot to mention in my blog was the dynamic of Britney now. I really was liking her as a coach, but think I’m going to end up not liking her as much as a player, seeing as how she might be joking around less, now that she has to plot and scheme to save herself…this could be troubling.
Your whole commentary about Danielle becoming a Stage 5 Clinger after kissing Shane and the producers having to hide every knife in the house made me DIE of laughter…and I’m at work in a quiet office, thanks a lot 😛
I think it would have been way more entertaining if they had let the coaches enter the game if they wanted to, but not make all of them. That way we’d have a weird mix of “teams” and individuals, which could make the strategy really interesting. Boogie’s completely toast now.
I agree that CBS dropped the ball with that decision. I, too, think it would have added such a strong dynamic to the house if there were players, veterans, and one coach still left standing. Who would the players vote to get out: the veterans or Boogie’s players? Every conversation Boogie had after that would have been classic, because nobody would have wanted to tell him diddly dick! 🙂
As for Danielle, if you thought she was a Stage 5 Clinger before, just wait until you know more about some things happening now and we’re going to have to create a whole new category of Clinger-ness for her…
This was BY FAR your best blog ever. I was holding in my laughter as best as I could. 🙂 “Frank’s bushy haired butthole…” LOL.
I also agree that the coaches should have been able to decide IF they wanted back in the game or not, as individuals and not forced to enter if only one person said yes. That would have created a better dynamic-
Still my favorite reality competition show-no matter what.
And you are still my favorite Big Brother blogger… 🙂
I didn’t get Shane and the lint roller thing either? What was the point of that? And the pink tank top – I’m all for guys wearing pink – but it was more the cut of the tank top that disturbed me more than anything – it was rather feminine. Or maybe I’m not up to date on men’s tank tops and its the new style. I guess he could have went with Wil’s styling and wore a little pink speedo with a blazer…I am glad he took off his 90’s shell necklace though. Probably was worried it would give him tan lines – that guy has a wicked tan going. Looking at him next to Ian now is rather funny.
I think the coaches – and Britney in particular – getting better is just a result of time – I think it took some time for everyone to get to know one another, get use to the game (the coaches would have had a leg up on that one), build some trust, and get to know strengths and weaknesses. Now that the coaches have spent enough time – they can really start to be effective. So I honestly don’t think they are better than they use to be – we don’t have anything to compare it to, to be able to judge that. But Britney is surprising me from what I expected – but like you said, she has only one person to concentrate on.
Also – I don’t know if Dan did the right coaching thing with Danielle. I think he is use to coaching guys, not girls, and that might be a good thing to say to guys, but I don’t think it was a good thing to say to her. Okay – let me clarify – the message itself I agree with, but it was the delivery that was not right for her. If Danielle was a different type of female – like Janelle – she might have responded well to Dan’s first strategy of throwing her in the deep end to swim, or this strategy of telling her to lay off the emotion. But, I think its a mistake b/c he doesn’t get her personality – she needs some support, some hand holding, and really subtle guidance, I don’t think she will respond well to his comments. I think by him saying that, she will fight that much harder to do the opposite – and want to cling to Shane more (which sounds like this is what she’s doing). She seems like a smitten teenager – and as most parents know, as soon as you tell your girl they shouldn’t see that boy, she’s gonna sneak out of the house to prove you wrong, and go see that boy. I think Dan’s fundamental mistake was picking all girls for his team – I actually don’t mind Dan – but he’s used to coaching guys, not girls, and I honestly think he has no idea how to do so.
Oh – and Scott, I think you might want to rethink having Juggles as your life coach, haha. He might make you and your wife breakfast it bed – but he’d make you get up to eat it at 5am, and shout ‘EAT THIS PEAR, ITS RIPE!….BRUSH YOUR TEETH FOR 3 MINUTES SCOTT’ haha. I’m pretty sure you’d have a massive headache from all his help!
I am starting to think, Cndgirl, that you’re a lot like me and you like to disagree with people just to disagree, play Devil’s Advocate a little! 🙂 With my entire comment about Dan, I am 100% right. When you are a coach, all you can do is coach. You don’t get to play. So, all you can tell your players is the right thing to do, what they then do with that information is on them. Dan may not have said the words he needed to say, in the right tone, in the right way, but he said the right words. Whether or not she listens is on her. So, Dan was still making a good coaching move, but Danielle is such a crappy player that she’s not going to pay attention. She’s a smitten girl, and like you said, no matter what a smitten girl is told, she’s not going to listen. Especially when the guy she’s smitten over keeps “messing” with her head. You girls just never listen, so as a girl, yourself, I’d expect you to take the girls side and say that Dan needs to coddle her more, hold her hand, etc, when you and I (and everyone else) know that it still won’t matter, because the next time Shane goes and looks at Danielle, she’s back to being smitten. 🙂
As for you, Christine0622, I love you.
Okay…yep…maybe a little 🙂 but in a fun-debate kind of way! It’s an interesting way to learn and get different perspectives…
Hmmm – you do have a point about no matter what he says she probably won’t listen, so maybe he did need to take the hard line. It might be the right thing to say – problem is, he won’t end up accomplishing what he needs or wants to accomplish that way. He won’t have a chance. He might of at least had a chance a different way – but it does take longer and one doesn’t have much time in the BB house, so maybe that wouldn’t work either. And – well I don’t consider myself a stereotypical female, so you might be making an assumption there about whose side I’d take (I would have tried to get a team of all guys to coach if it was me – as I’m not much into drama – much more into logic) 🙂
Have you noticed how Frank blinks? It literally takes him five seconds to complete each blink.
The whole Ian/Britney conversation made me think of a movie I’m sure Ian has seen. Ghostbusters pointed out that “if someone asks if you are a God, YOU SAY YES!” Just like if an HOH’s coach asks if their player will be safe next week.
Hahaha, nice Ghostbusters reference!! Love it. Wish I had come up with that one. 🙂
As for Ian, this guy keeps talking about how he wants to masturbate in the HOH room when he wins…he even mentioned it during the competition last night! Total creeper.
Also, Cndgirl, if I had a penny for every girl who told me she wasn’t the “stereotypical girl,” I’d be a pretty rich man! 🙂 I’m not lumping EVERY girl into the same category, but I’m just sayin’ 🙂
Not sure whether it’s kosher to talk about who won the HOH yesterday, so I won’t … but I will say it’s a game-changer for at least the coming week.
Funny, Scott, that you mentioned Ian’s seeming inability to be still and his toe-walking as I was struck by that again last night, too. I think he has (mild) tourettes syndrome. One of my family members has 3 kids who all have it & Ian reminds me of them, from the odd walking gait/toe-walking to the social awkwardness to the inappropriate comments.
I have to admit I was pi$$ed off at BB bringing the coaches into the game, but I’m over it. I think it will make things much more interesting.
Frankly (<— see what I did there?), I was cheering when Dan tried to tell Danielle to pull her head out of her ass … or out of Shane's ass. Shane is going to play Danielle big-time & she's cruising for a world of heartache.
My prediction is that Janelle will be one of the players to be put up for eviction this coming week. That may just be wishful thinking on my part – I can't stand her.
Which reminds me: I'm convinced one of the BB camera operators has a permanent boner over Janelle. TWICE in the After Dark programming last week, when Jannelle's back was to the camera, he panned the camera from her feet aaallllll the way up her body (lingering on her butt); and this week, when she took a bath in the HOH bathroom (by the way, although she had a bikini on, when she came out of the change area to get into the bathtub she had a nip-slip, which I'm sure made the cameraman experience a nocturnal emission), again the camera panned her entire body, starting at her feet aaalllll the way up her body, this time lingering on her bosom. Wow.
Hey, maybe Ian was manning the camera! (Joke!)
I'm really enjoying your recaps, Scott. Stay away from dangerous wildlife.
Cheers to all.
That’s really creepy if the cameramen are doing that. Ew. Makes you wonder with all that footage they have, if they ever take any home for themselves…double ew.
LMAO @ finding Jimmy Hoffa’s body and carrying it around – LOL – hilarious recap.
I don’t mind the coaches joining the competition, really, but here’s what I wanted to go differently:
An eviction this week
&
Let whichever coaches wanted to join join and whoever didn’t (Boogie) remain as a coach.
Shane’s pink tank top is cut just the same as Ryan’s white one on “The Bachelorette” (like some kind of woman’s undershirt!).
Although, nevermind, if Boogie was the only one to remain as coach there wouldn’t be a coaches’ competition anymore. 😀 But it would have been interesting if most of the coaches wanted to remain as coaches!
Jeepers Jumping Jackrabbits! Is there any way to contact the BB producers and have them ask Joe to stop PICKING at himself?!?!
It’s a damned good thing they edit it out of the broadcast, but on the After Dark programming Joe demonstrates a very serious problem with PDS (Personal Dirt Syndrome).
He picks his nose constantly; or scratches his nose/ears/face; or reaches over his back and squeezes/scratches whatever zits or other growths he may be incubating there …
THEN he looks at whatever he has produced through his picking, and, even worse …
HE CLEANS whatever is caught under his fingernails with his TEETH!
Holy cr*p, it’s SO gross!!