Ok, I’m coming to you from the skanky laptop with the flat “i” butt(on). Forgive me if I don’t go too into details because of this stupid laptop. It’s been a pretty crummy night as it is, anyway, so I wasn’t much in the mood for Big Brother, but I have to make my readers happy, right? The price you pay when personal things get in the way, huh?!?
Anyway, the episode starts up with Janelle telling us just how shocked she really is to be nominated. She brings up the point that Danielle wasn’t even on her radar and is lead to believe that this wasn’t all her doing since she has given Danielle no reason to assume she is her target. Everyone in the house knows that Janelle wants Frank out, so she’s obviously suspicious of this move.
Take that bow, Boogie. You deserve to do it. Well played, sir. You are proving, once again, just how great you are at this game.
And, then we also learn that Danielle is leaving Frank on the block because “it’s funny” since Janelle hates Frank and wants him gone and yet she’s going to have to be on the block with him all the rest of the week. And, also because she doesn’t want to make it obvious that she is working with Frank. I don’t know about you, sweetheart, but when YOU make the nominations, and then YOU win Veto, and then YOU take a person off the block, and then YOU nominate another person, I think people are going to assume you are now targeting that person and working with the other two. I guess it’s somewhat smart to leave Frank up for that purpose, because everyone may just assume that Janelle is now a bigger target to you than Frank, but honestly who are you trying to fool, Ashley? She’s a walking fool. Joe has yelled so damn much that he can’t hear anymore, so he won’t even hear that you are replacing Wil with Janelle, he is probably just going to assume that Janelle stood up and hugged Wil and then just sat down in his seat as the gay man adds a new golden necklace to his accessories he has on today. I think you would have been “safe” to take Frank down.
Janelle goes and talks to Danielle and I’m penis sure (when I see penis sure, that is sooooo much more than 100% it’s not even funny. I am talking “I’d chop my penis off if I was wrong type sure”) that Janelle didn’t buy a word of what she fed her. As if she’s going to believe you that you didn’t talk to Dan about nominating her! Come on now, you had all that time to come up with a story and that’s the best you got? Janelle, rightfully, tells her that she made a mistake, because according to her reasoning and Janelle targeting Danielle, she couldn’t be more wrong.
Dan and Janelle talk, and if I was penis sure about Janelle not believing Danielle, I’m not even sure of what kind of sure I am that Janelle didn’t buy a bit of what Dan was selling. But, as she said later in the episode, she loves Dan, so she probably just didn’t care to listen. Dan gave her some bullswippy about Danielle having “girl feelings” and he doesn’t know how to rationalize with that, so this is what ended up happening. Janelle tells him that she doesn’t understand why she’s up and feels that something (or should I say someone) else might have played a role in her going up. And, producer standing by, all systems go on having Mike Boogie enter the room they are talking in. It’s a sign from God, Janelle, Mike Boogie is the reason you are up. As if you shouldn’t know that from the blow up in the HOH room earlier. And, of course, she ends by reiterating that she had no clue she was going up, otherwise she would have worn makeup. I know I’ve said it before, but these people do remember that cameras are rolling on them 24/7, right? Ok, just checking. Janelle has played this game three times now, right? Ok, just checking. I’m thinking next All-Stars season, Janelle, just have makeup on at all times. In fact, go have that plastic surgery that permanently pastes the makeup on your face. You should be golden then.
We get the obligatory scenes of Janelle talking to everyone about giving her their vote. Everyone either tells her they’re voting for her to stay or they’re thinking it’s likely she’s staying. The only person to waver on her thought process is Britney, who hates the fact that she has to lie to Janelle’s face. Brit even starts second-guessing why they are voting her out. She remembers that Janelle is an ally of hers (even though she’s forgetting that Janelle left her high and dry earlier in the season), isn’t targeting her or Shane (or so she says), and wants to protect the coaches. All of this is sounding, to Britney, like reasons to keep Janelle, and not Frank. I’m sure this is just one of those scenes Big Brother asked them to shoot, so the end result wasn’t completely obvious to the viewers, even though something like 77.6% of the viewers already know what’s going on in the house from the live feeds or some blog that covers the live feeds, or even Showtime After Dark.
Now the boring part of the episode; Julie Chen asking questions to the houseguests. We do get a nice little tidbit from Boogie about how he now feels better about the reset, because he “did some work this week.” This past week fed into his ego BIG TIME, so that’s why he’s ok with being back in the game. He’s sitting pretty right now and in a very powerful place, aligned with Dan and Frank, and seemingly having several others willing to do his bidding.
We learn that Jenn thinks the reset was good for her game. Uh, what game is that, sweetheart? Monopoly? Chutes N Ladders? You must think you’re still playing Band Hero and that Boogie is an awesome drummer and Britney can sing her heart out and you’ll finally be able to “beat” the hardest song in that game! Please, the only reason it helped your game is that you’re pretty much guaranteed to stick around until top 5 or 6 now and make more stipend pay for appearing on the live episodes each week.
And, oh my God, someone please hold Ian down!! Can you stop swaying from side-to-side and rocking back-and-forth on that couch?!? Either he had to sh*t himself, really needed to get his erection down, or I was spot on with my autism guess. And, I’m not saying there is anything wrong with people who have autism, just saying that I think he has it. That’s all. If I had cameras following me around for 24 hours, people would think I’m autistic and slightly out of my damn mind. I talk to things like car doors, the wind, rabbits in my rear view mirror, so yeah, I’m not making fun of him for having autism, just pointing out how smart I am for spotting it.
And, of course Barbara thinks Ashley isn’t so ditzy. I’m here to tell you, Barbara, that you, my dear, are DEAD WRONG!! Are you blind? Are you not paying attention? Have you not been paying attention the last 25 or however many years she’s been old enough to talk? Your daughter is ditzy. And she’s done porn. So, there is that.
Hold up, did Julie Chen just say something funny? Holy shiz, I never thought I’d see the day! Her “You sound like Ron Burgundy” comment hit as home to my heart as did the news I heard that Hollywood is making plans to release an ALF movie!! If that movie ever does come out, my life will be complete. ALF is one of my all-time favorite TV characters, human or non-human, animated or live, doesn’t matter!
Wait, what is going on today? Way too many occurrences that just seem off. Did Joe just refrain from yelling into the camera? Is he just that upset that Janelle is going home? Why is he so subdued? Did CBS drug him? They had to have. I’m convinced that is it. Has to be. Case closed.
Anyway, Janelle gets voted out, 8 to 1. Her exit interview is as classic as her nip slip was. “He’s such a loser.” I will admit to being a fan of Mike Boogie. I like to watch dominant “teams” play games and him (and Chill Town) were amazing to watch play this game. So, I have to say I liked his good-bye message, even if it was lacking the class element that Frank just got done talking about. Doesn’t matter, it was hilarious, and Janelle had an even funnier retort. So, kudos to Janelle for going out on top. “Screw you, Mike Boogie.” But, I will say that your answer to Julie’s question about why you didn’t answer Boogie when he asked you if you would sacrifice Joe or Wil was dumb. You had JUST got done answering his original question, which was “Would you vote out your own players?” with a resounding “Yes.” So, right there you are throwing them under the bus. Just because you didn’t mention their names doesn’t absolve you of that. Nice try.
We head on out to the backyard for the HOH competition, which we all have to assume is being thrown to Boogie or Frank, whichever one of them wants it. That becomes more evident when Wil, who is not in the Quack Pack or Silent Six, does NOT choose Frank and Boogie to go up against each other!!! Why wouldn’t he? Even if he is working together with them, you still put duos/pairs up against each other, because guess what, YOU still want to win and your odds are better if you keep knocking out the pairs in the game. Yes, Wil is the third biggest threat in the house. Geez. I feel like we’re watching a different game than these folks are playing sometimes.
And, Dan throws yet another competition. I guess he is like Boogie and just feels as if he doesn’t need to rely on competitions to win the game. It’s working for him and Boogie so far, but I still feel as if Dan doesn’t want to get embarrassed to continually lose.
And, Boogie throws it to Frank by answering before the words even begin to play. Luckily, he was wrong.
Frank and Britney are the Final 2, and I won’t mind whichever one wins it. So, let’s just give it to Frank then. And, he wins!
Now what? Does he put up Wil and Joe? Does someone rat out Ian for joining a different alliance, then making it a Wil & Ian nominaton? Does he go after the “floaters,” Ashley & Jenn, and completely waste his week as HOH? If I’m him, I do Wil & Joe, just to stick with the Janelle theme. He’s practically working with everyone else in the house, so it only makes sense that those would be his nominatons. But, we’ll see who gets in his ear. If I’m Boogie, I don’t let anyone else talk to him before nominatons, unless I’m there, just so he doesn’t do anything stupid.
So, it should be exciting from here on out, the rest of the week. I’m going to attempt one more week of not hearing the spoilers, so I’ll be back next Friday to let you know how that’s going and if I’ll continue. But, please keep up the chatter on the comment board (I’m liking what I’ve been seeing, even if Steve’s site won’t let me post a response to yours – it keeps telling me I’m commenting too fast and I need to slow down – so don’t feel as if I’m passing on commenting, I’m just being c0ckblocked), twitter, facebook, the grocery store, wherever.
Until Monday,
Written by:
Scott Ottersen
Email: ScottOttersen@yahoo.com
Facebook: http://facebook.com/ScottOttersen
Twitter: http://twitter.com/#!/ChokeOnMyBlog
Hey – I commented on your last post yesterday that I was wrong before, when I had thought Danielle wasn’t a game changer as HOH – so pipe down there, no need to point it out again…although, well, maybe, that’s what I get for saying it! I guess its your blog…
And, I know exactly who Keyser Soze – is – great great movie! That would be funny if it was all a persona Ian was acting out…you know, like how Ashley isn’t that ditzy in real life too, right?
Scott, all I can say is even though I know it’s 99 percent no way no how gonna happen, that I LOVE your Usual Suspects theory about Ian. If that were to happen it would be the greatest season ever, and I will think that even if he didn’t win, but it still happened during his exit anytime.
I didn’t see the season(s) with Boogie and/or Janelle, so I’m new to them both. However, as I said in an earlier comment: Boogie is brilliant.
His manipulations are so subtle, so logical, so compelling that (at least for now) he’s got the Silent Six wrapped around his little finger – errrr …. maybe his middle finger? Watching him work in the After Dark broadcasts, I knew he would be successful in instigating the back-dooring of Janelle. (Sorry, Danielle, you really had very little to do with it.)
I have to admit that I am beyond thrilled that Janelle was voted out and will not be on the Jury (and I’ll be massively ticked-off if BB somehow contrives to have her return to the game the way they did with Rachel/Brendan in the past).
Probably some people were put off by Boogie taunting Janelle in his “good bye” message, but I thought it was hilarious – and, frankly, I lost any sympathy at all toward Janelle when she called him a “douchebag” (although BB bleeped it out, you knew what she said).
Can’t wait until the Expendables are gone (Joe, Jenn, Ashley & Will) and the Silent Six + Ian are going to have to go up against each other, cause that’s when it’s really going to get interesting.
I’m betting on Boogie, Frank & Ian developing an alliance that’ll bring them to the final 3.
Scott, despite your avoidance of spoilers (which I think is too bad ’cause I’m sure you’d have extremely funny comments about them), I’m still loving your recaps.
Cheers to my fellow BB fans.
I think Boogie is determined to win to prove he can do it without Will! And at this point, I think he can win it again. Unless They have Pandoras box again and the penalty for the positive is to bring former houseguests in to replace boring ones….Paging Dr. Will! Wouldn’t that be a twist, get rid of players(using that term loosely) like Jenn and Danielle(yes I know she won HOH and veto but still!) and replace them with Will. Those of you who have never watched season 2 or 7, watch those seasons on YouTube and you will understand why I love him!
Oh FanofSteve you’ve missed out – and cheers to you too! By the sounds of things, you would have loved the season with Chilltown, if you think Boogie is brilliant, you should have seen him with Dr. Will. Same kind of strategy – logicical, compelling brilliance – and honestly even when they were screwing people over it was so hard to be mad at them because they were so fun and funny – both for the viewers and houseguests alike. Hands down, best BB, if not reality show season, I have ever enjoyed. If it would be possible for you to find that season, you should watch it. And I don’t think I would say that about any other reality tv show. It was the first all star season – and so b/c they had all played the game before, it really bumped the strategy up a whole level. It should be all new or all stars though – not this mix of old and new.
And in janelles season, she really did rule her season and came so close in all stars – she did rely on competitions to save her butt though, she really was amazing at them, as well as stirring up drama as distraction. It’s just that her game doesn’t work so well against Boogie’s – and she’s right, he would only ever want a bro alliance and that I think really ticks her off. I think she stands out as one of the only BB females to ever really make a mark on this game. Her and evil Dick in the same house might have made an interesting season.
I never saw Boogie/ Will’s first season, I think that was the first season ever of BB. I do remember Nokomis pinoreeing the back door strategy, and I remember at the time thinking how brilliant that was – just brilliant. I don’t think there is another strategy move in BB that compares to when that first happened.
And I know they keep saying the pawn always goes home as a strategy, but you know, that really hasn’t been true the last couple of seasons. It use to be true, but it hasn’t really happened that much anymore, but everyone keeps thinking it will.
Anyway, I could keep going, but y’all might get bored!
Keyser Soze!HaHa! This recap was so funny! I love Alf too but do you remember how f*ed up the ending to that show was? Traumatized me for life. Also, did you notice how Julie didn’t interview Danielle privately in the HOH room like she usually does? Even Julie knew that was pointless.