BIG BROTHER – 8/13/12

Britney and Danielle are already discussing what Frank should do with his $500,000. Just the fact that those two are having this conversation this early on should tell you that he’s not winning anything. I do believe that Frank is becoming a frontrunner, but at the same time, every single person in the house is gunning for him and knows he’s a humongous threat, so I don’t believe he is winning this game. I think, actually, he’ll be going home pretty soon. With how sneaky Dan is, I can see him weaseling his way into an HOH’s mind and getting them to backdoor Frank in the next few weeks. For what it’s worth, I will say that I have been having discussions with my sister-in-law since a few weeks ago, and each time we’ve talked, I’ve told her that it just truly feels like Dan is going to win this show. I was saying it even before the coaches were in the game. It just has that feel to it, doesn’t it? Boogie is just too big of voice, he’s going to get silenced. Frank and Shane are just too big of trees, they’re going to get chopped down. Joe is too big of a chicken, so he’s getting fried. Nobody likes Wil. Danielle, Ashley, Ian, Jenn, and Britney are those pesky flies that don’t do anything to you, but are just annoying enough that they get swatted out. That leaves Dan, who is just that sly fox that nobody notices in the back corner of the woods, watching as the rest of the animals scatter about, waiting on his moment to come out and take what he wants. Just know now, if Dan wins this show, I’m going all Madden-on-my-Playstation on something nearby!!

Frank and Boogie are talking, and Frank suggests putting up Joe and Dan. I like this side of Frank. Perhaps this is him understanding that he needs to make big moves in order to stay in the house, considering he’s been on the block every week in which he hasn’t won HOH. But, I agree with Boogie that it’s just too early for them to make the first move. They both know that, at some point, in the VERY near future, the other four members of The Silent Six are going to turn on them and put one of them up for eviction, but they just don’t want to make the first move and preempt their decision to do such a thing. I think, mostly, it’s because Boogie knows he’s not winning any HOHs, so they’d be in danger the very next week. With 11 people left, I agree that it’s not the right time to make that move. But, I still like it coming out of their mouths and discussing it.

Ashley and Wil are out in the backyard, discussing how they hope they’re not stupid for voting out an ally. Let me save you two some time. Yes. You are both stupid. Just the fact that you, Ashley, just referred to yourself and Wil as “chitlins” should tell you everything you need to know. Pig intestines is not exactly what I would compare you to in this game, at this point. But, hey, to each their own, right?

Joe comes out and joins the two to discuss how he was hurt that the two of them didn’t approach him that they were voting out Janelle and abandoning ship on Team Janelle so early after the reset. I think Wil summed up, perfectly, why they didn’t do it by saying, first, Joe has the biggest mouth in the house (that is saying something in this house) and would have run to Janelle with his panties tied around his crotch to tell her about the plan. And, second, leaving Joe out on an island as the only vote to evict Frank paints a big old target on his forehead, back, and @ss cheeks.

As much as I enjoyed Frank, Shane, and Ian talking about wet dreams they’re having about JoJo and Kara, I couldn’t help but take my focus off of Ian rocking back and forth in his chair. Either he was having an “episode” or he was rocking back and forth so his pants would rub against his penis as a form of masturbation without using his hands. Maybe this is the science project he is working on at the moment down at Tulane. The handless jerk. Ingenious. Maybe I’m all wrong about Keyser Soze.

Come on, Shaneomac (what a loser), Danielle is THROWING her p*ssy at you, throw that d*ck back at it, would you already?!? Good Lord, you are doing nothing to prove how you and Danny Zuko aren’t of the homosexual origin. Not that there is anything wrong with that, but I’m just saying! Far be it for YOU to be the first wholesome male that CBS casts as the “sexy” guy on Big Brother who doesn’t end up having sex on national television. This girl has done everything but drop the towel in front of you at this point, so just take one for the team, bang one out, wake up the next morning and tell her you think you just want to be friends. Tell her your ashamed you did that and that your mom is going to be upset, maybe shed a few tears to get some sympathy from her, and you’re good to go. Like my two year old daughter tells us every time we do something for her; see how easy it is?

Boogie, Frank, and Dan are up in the HOH room not experience Shaneomac time, instead discussing putting up one of the Silent Six members to throw off the smell of an alliance, but also make sure as not to piss off Wil or Joe. Personally, I think they were just having this discussion because they wanted to see if Dan would volunteer to go up, because to say that you’re afraid Wil or Joe will win HOH the following week is pretty ridiculous. Those two aren’t winning sh*t and even if they do, they’ve proven just how easily manipulated they can be into doing things they typically shouldn’t, or normally wouldn’t do. The Silent Six are sitting pretty right now and shouldn’t worry about anything because once they vote Juggles’ @ss out this week, it’s pretty much their game for the taking.

I appreciated Boogie and Britney deciphering how Danielle is NOT a kindergarten teacher. I can appreciate how they came to that conclusion from her not liking mornings, but I’m sure it had more to do with the fact that she knows too much about medicine. Nobody likes mornings, no matter what time they have to be at work. I start work at 7:30 every morning, and have to be up before 5 am to get everything ready and make the commute to drop my daughter off, and then make it to work on time. So, if I was in the Big Brother house, I think I’d relish the opportunity to sleep in every damn morning, which shouldn’t tell you that I’m not what I say I am. But, when someone starts talking about medicine and how they’ve “had to take classes” about medicine and whatnot (for an Education degree, come on now Danielle), it’s fairly certain they’re in the medical field for profession. I’m not sure if I spoke about it in the first blog, but I am on the same wavelength as Boogie, with how if someone told me they were a nurse, I wouldn’t be completely overwhelmed with their intelligence and be intimidated by them. I met some of the people who were nursing majors at the college I went to and I am NOT put off by their “intelligence.” I think they were practically handing out Nursing degrees and telling everyone “Enjoy the Nursing home gig” when they were shaking hands, walking across that graduation stage. And, Boogie, we didn’t “hear it here, first,” we knew this sh*t all along!

Ashley and her back spasms?!? I remember reading about this in a blog earlier this season and about how she’s basically spent this entire summer hopped up on medication. Must be an old porn injury. Too many doggy scenes with her back outstretched. Or, in her dominatrix case, too many lashings. You want to know how we know she’s hopped up on something? Because she calls Dan and Boogie “muscular men.” I’m not sure what guys look like in Pennsylvania, Ashley, but if you look at Dan and Boogie’s body type, the last thing you think about is muscular. Had she said “lean,” maybe I’d cut her some slack, but muscular? That will be 10 lashings and one money shot to the face!

Uh-oh, looks like Big Brother is taking a lesson from its CBS’ counterpart, Survivor, in rehashing an old competition for the Have/Have-Not’s competition. We’ve seen this one before, BB! Recently, too. If you’re going to bring back an old competition, at least steal from the first season when nobody watched this show!! Although, for all I know, they are doing that! 🙂