So, weird story to tell. I went to my day job on Thursday morning, wrote my blog for Wednesday nights episode. It took me over two hours to write it, because I would just go back to it every now and again, as I did my actual work. And, just about as I finished, my supervisor asked me to come meet with him. I walked into the room and our Senior HR rep was sitting in there, as well. I knew it wasn’t good. She led off with the climax, which we were always told is something you build up to inside a story, but apparently high school diplomas aren’t a prerequisite to be an executive at my company. Anyway, the climax was that I was fired. Effective immediately. So, this matters to you, mostly because I had my blog typed on my work computer, saved to my Word program on my work computer, and I was not allowed to go back to my desk. Oh, and my notes for Wednesday’s episode were also on my desk, as was my cell phone. So, after more than eight years of half-dedicated service, I wasn’t even allowed to go back to my desk to pick up a piece of paper and my cell phone. You’re welcome, Scott. By the way, thanks for being a two-time Reporter of the Year, and ten-time Reporter of the Quarter. Kick rocks. @ssholes. So, the good news from all of this is that I’m not going anywhere, I will still be writing you these blogs. The bad news is that I have to recap Wednesday nights show from memory. I will do my best.
The show started off with the five minute “previously on Big Brother” actually coming in handy. Due to my DVR cutting off early on Sunday’s episode, I missed the final minutes of the show, but got to see just about all of it in this recap. And, Frank started off the show saying that Wil was now their target, due to his attitude in the HOH room. I find it funny how this game can change with one conversation. One dirty look, really. Someone could walk out of the bathroom, after taking a mean dump, see you coming to use the bathroom, be embarrassed that they are going to have to smell your sh*t while they sh*t, look away from you, and have that cost them the game because you interpreted them looking away from you as them being ready to vote your @ss out next Thursday. Quirky game, this Big Brother is.
Danielle and Dan have a conversation about the nominations, and Danielle tells Dan they should be happy that Frank (and Boogie) kept up their end of the bargain, but Dan reminds Danielle that they are playing a game called Big Brother, they are on this thing called television, and part of the game is that there is a Power of Veto competition, in which nominations can be changed. Dan worries now that he could be backdoored. Just the fact that these two are having this discussion mere days after starting an alliance with them speaks volumes as to whether or not they should have even aligned with them in the first place.
I am going to place my vote for the twist next season to be that Zingbot be a permanent houseguest, and player. I still think CBS should consult with me, because most of the zings weren’t even that great. I will say that the pink tank top zing on Shane was spot on, although the whole “my five year old niece” joke is played out. However, the restraining order zing on Danielle was PERFECT!!! Although, let me make my case for some better options the Zingbot could have gone with:
(in my best Zingbot voice)
“Ian, I talked to Joe’s cowboy hat, he wants you to know that ‘Extenze works.’ Zing.”
“Joe, couple of things. First, don’t tuck your football jersey into your plaid shorts. You look like Jerry Sandusky at a boys camp. Second, (yelling) STOP YELLING IN THE F*CKNG DIARY ROOM! ZING”
“Dan, your wife called, she said you aren’t even the finest in your own home, let alone all of Dearborn. Oh, and I had sex with her. Zing.”
Let’s start zinging these bastards, huh, CBS? We don’t need pansy jokes being thrown around. These are grown men and women, they can handle a little razzing here and there.
We move on to the Veto competition, where the only good thing that came out of it was Dan’s zing on Shane about taking puzzle-building advice from Britney being like taking dating advice from Ian. Zing indeed, Dan, zing indeed. See, I can be nice to Dan.
Anyway, Frank wins. And, we are going to find out whether or not he wants to make a big move in the game.
First, sorry to hear about the job. Why didnt you tell them that they overlooked your dedication in your work, you know, how even though it interfered with writing THIS blog (which, lets face it, has greater social value), you manned up and did both. Maybe youd have gotten a raise and sexually harrassing a$$ slap from the HR rep.
Second, contrary to all your reports about your hetero or homosexuality, you write like too much of a straight guy to get into the club. Relax, youre straight–not that theres anything wrong with that!
Third – Quote Frank makes my penis laugh – Zing!!! nice one. If I had one, hed make mine crawl up my own butthole – hes gross.
Thanks for the recap – sometimes its better just from memory, more of your own fun slant comes out in the blog and keeps us coming back.
p.s. – send a resume to Boogie, seems he will be available shortly to read it 🙂
Holy cr*p, Scott! Has life been smacking you around just a little bit lately? I’m sorry you lost your job & hope you’re hanging in there.
I really got a kick out of Joe’s wife, too. As for their having “4 kids together,” maybe what was meant was that, between the two of them, they brought 4 kids into the marriage. I noticed that the 3 older kids (eldest + the twins) referred to Joe as “Joe,” except in the final shout-out when all 4 kids shouted “Dad, Stop Yelling!” So maybe they’re from his wife’s previous marriage? The youngest could be either Joe & his wife’s or Joe’s from a previous marriage/relationship.
Do y’all want to know the funniest segment of BB After Dark this past week? Ashley, Danielle & Brittany removing Ian’s armpit hair with Nair! I kid you not!! The three girls de-haired Ian’s ‘pits. It was both gross and hilarious, especially when one of the girls described Ian’s lotion-laden hairy armpit as resembling a dead ferret!
Bwaaaahahahahahahahahahahaha!
Poor Ian was still suffering armpit rashes from the chemicals on eviction day.
As for the HOH competition (*NO spoilers*), the winner should make for an interesting week.
Also with respect to the HOH competition: Boogie must be incredibly confident, and Britney made a smart move. That’s all!
Cheers to my fellow BB fans & Good Luck with the job hunt, Scott!
Hey there FanofSteve, I appreciate your enthusiasm for BB as I think it’s fun too…but as a person who doesn’t read between shows please please please dont say anything about the competitions. Even though you aren’t saying who won, from what you wrote I’m guessing Boogie got the money (well, I guess I knew that from the end of Thursday’s show) and Britney won the safety. As for the winner, guessing Ian if it’s an interesting week. I can’t help but guess if I’m given info…so please don’t give me any (or preface by saying spoilers ahead). Thanks! It was funny to hear about Ian’s pit hair removal…that stuff is okay and funny, as it has nothing to do with the outcome of comps or noms. Cheers!
hey who gets evicted just watched the show 8/19/12 and boogie and frank were put up who gets evicted or wins pov
OK fine, Cndgirl: I will not speak of any competitions ahead of broadcast unless/until Scott starts discussing spoilers, which I wish he would because they’re all over the ‘net in any case & I’d rather read Scott’s writing than that of other posters.
tsidorick, if you want to know who won POV & how it affects the nominations (if it affects them at all), just Google Big Brother 14 – there are numerous sites that provide spoilers.
But seriously, why do people even call them spoilers when BB has live feeds & also broadcasts BB After Dark?
Honestly, the only people BB Production wants to keep information away from are the contestants/House Guests.
Anyway, about tonight’s show: I loved it that they showed the de-hairing of Ian’s armpits; not so crazy about them showing Ian & Ashley on their extremely awkward pizza “date.” That poor guy’s going to get SO much grief after this show.
I would rather they had broadcast clips of Boogie’s diatribes (seen on After Dark) against all the other houseguests, calling them “morons” and “assholes” and “f*ckers” and (for the girls) “bitches.” Too bad prime-time America can’t see his true colours. (<— Note: Canadian spelling!)