James, Jason, Audrey, and Da’Vonne form a quick alliance and bring up the plan to backdoor Jace. They discuss that he can’t be put on the block right away and be given opportunities to save himself, so they’re going to need to find pawns. This early in the game, pawns are easy to find, but they go on a hunt anyway. As James pulls Jackie aside, he has to steady himself before he starts talking game because he can’t help himself from staring at Jackie’s backdoor and commenting to her how he likes what he sees and hopes to use his key to open that backdoor at some point and walk right in it…
James…you Asian fisherman pimp, you!!
After James is done scoping out Jackie’s backdoor and staring down Becky’s headlights, he tries to talk some sense into Steve about being a pawn. But Steve’s not having any of it. Steve may be right in knowing that pawns sometimes go home in Big Brother, but he also has to understand that when people are in power, you tend to want to go along with what they say, agree with them, and do your best to subtly sway them in another direction. Him directly saying no thank you to being a pawn just made him an even easier target to be the pawn and allowing Steve and Jason the easy conversation afterward when telling him why he was nominated. Just go with the flow, Steve. I can only imagine the hardest part of Big Brother is trying to talk sense into these other players and them not following along with what you’re saying, but sometimes you have to swallow your intelligence and go along with the idiocy of the game. God knows that would be the hardest part for me to deal with, too. I can’t stand dumb people and their ways of thinking, so I’m quite certain that I’d probably be one of the first people voted out if I ever made it onto the show. Let’s hope Steve doesn’t suffer the same fate.
The nominations come about and Jason chose John’s voice and Becky’s breasticles to sit on the block, while James chose Steve’s awkwardness and Jackie’s @ss to join them. And pardon the pun, but Becky was a trainwreck afterward. For all those that don’t know, Becky told the houseguests that she was hit in the face by a train when she was younger. She said she couldn’t go into details because there’s an investigation or court case still pending, but how one gets hit in the face by a freight train, and only the face, I have no idea. I GUARANTEE that’s a good @ss story, though! So again, pardon the pun, but I had to. I mean, she got hit by a train and so any time she cries ever in her life, she’s going to hear the trainwreck gig. Sorry. Let us all go back to staring at your choo-choo’s now. Maybe a little at your caboose, too.
Let me digress here since I haven’t really yet…in all my years of being alive, I’ve always dreamed of having long, flowing hair. The Tim Riggins look, if I may. I have tried SEVERAL times to make this happen, but have been very unsuccessful. I know that it takes several years to grow long hair, but I can’t ever seem to get over that first year hump. My hair just won’t grow longer. I think I just grow more hair, instead of the hair I already have growing longer. And I hate it. One of the main reasons I want long hair is because I don’t mind how the man-bun looks on some men. I just think that throwing your hair in a man-bun is something ladies like looking at – I know my wife says she hates it, but she also once said she hated men with big muscles and then “Mmm’d” a picture of Tyrese with his shirt off shortly after so take her word for what you will. But, what Jace did to his man-bun simply can’t be forgiven. Tying it up in the front and all sloppy like that? Some people just don’t deserve the man-bun. It’s sort of like a 6’10” guy not being able to play basketball. What does he need that height for? So what does Jace need that long hair for if he’s not going to use it right? Give me some…
We end the show with the Battle of the Block, Jackie and her backdoor actually held up pretty well, unlike Steve and all his “be confident, but not cocky” talk. Because of his slow start, Becky and John end up winning and dethrone Jason from the HoH chair. One thing I will note is that Becky can’t clap for sh*t. A pet peeve of mine is crappy clappers. I’m serious, too. People who clap awkwardly bother me for one reason or another. There have been some other crappy clappers in Big Brother history. Becky isn’t the worst, but still. Becky should just thank God that she was blessed with big chumbawumbas…
And with that, we’re off until Wednesday when we’ll see the Power of Veto competition and ceremony and any aftermath from that. I thought we were going to learn about the twin twist in tonight’s episode, but I guess that’s being saved for later in the week. And that’s probably because nothing interesting is happening with that other than the fact that people are noticing not-so-subtle differences in her, because the two girls can’t keep their sh*t straight in the house.
Ok, I’m done. Go follow me on Twitter. RIGHT NOW!
And get in those recaps. Don’t be shy, folks. Even if it’s a one sentence joke, just make it happen. If it’s easier just to DM me on Twitter (if you’re following me), please feel free to do that. Talk to you all soon.
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Loved your recap! Too funny! Followed you on Twitter!
I got a kick out of the bro-code scene. It had me laughing.
Totally agree with you on Meg’s glasses. Not sure what she’s thinking! The scene where Steve said I Love You was the best! Too funny. I was embarrassed for him and was so glad she didn’t call him out!
Did you catch the first show when Audrey introduced herself to Shelli and Shelli stated that her name used to be Audrey and she would explain later? Did you ever hear the explanation?
Also, any before pics of Audrey before her transition? I would have never guessed she was once male and think she looks great! I did notice that she was wearing a one-piece bathing suit with skirt in the pool pics.
So glad you’re back, Scott! Thanks for the great post!
One more question…
Any thoughts on Liz/Julia twin swap? I’ve heard Austin may be catching on.
Hey @bachfan101, thanks for the comment! And for the follow! 🙂
I forgot to mention Shelli saying her name used to be Audrey in my first blog. There was so much going on, I guess I let that slip through the cracks. My fault. But I haven’t read anything anywhere as to her telling Audrey why she changed her name. My guess is that the two don’t talk enough to each other for the story to have come out, so who knows if we’ll ever hear it…
As for the twin swap, I always try and skirt the spoiler fence in my blog since I’m really only recapping the episode. But, I have mentioned on Twitter that it’s not going so well. Jiz (as they’re being referred to on some sites) can’t keep their stories straight and obviously aren’t given enough time to compare notes. I’m also guessing the one not in the house isn’t watching feeds, because they’ve forgotten some simple things that the other one has done while in the house, making them questionable to the person they’re talking to as to why they don’t remember saying/doing something. I’ve also heard that some people have caught on but aren’t sure if they can/should bring it up…
The comment about Meg’s glasses is classic….I’ve always said the same thing….they should automatically set up 24/7 surveillance on anyone who buys those serial killer glasses because they are always the ones with bodies decomposing in a crawl space somewhere.
After Jace started on his third “Bro Code” rule while following that dude around, I was seriously hoping that Goliath, Judas, Austin (whatever his name is) would’ve picked him up over his head and thrown him into the backyard like a freakin’ javelin. That segment was super creepy. I know it’s early, but I could not believe no one told him to shut his stupid pie hole already.
Also, my husband and I were thinking Becky Breasticles should star in her own ‘Got Milk?’ commercial. Obviously, for the large utters she is growing, but the husband noticed that she’s apparently got one of a chocolate milk mustache going on. We threw out a bunch of theories on what’s up with it, obviously not knowing that only her face had apparently been pulverized by a freight train. (Which, like you said, is a really confusing concept.) Anyway, we ruled out “actual mustache.” I was thinking she uses an acne product or other medication that warns you to stay out of the sun, yet being on BB, she still can’t resist baking those huge boobies in her bikini all day long. Sometimes sunbathing when you’re supposed to avoid the sun leaves ugly brown sun spotting on the face, especially where you are prone to sweat. Anyway, I guess that one’s gonna remain a mystery. I was just very surprised and happy that the hubby actually took a second to actually look up at her face! Score! 🙂
Keep up the great work, Scott!
Hey @kwilson1101, give us men some credit! Do you know they did a study that proved the part of the woman’s body men stare at the longest in porno’s is their FACE?!? See…we are decent humans us men. You women just need to deal with the fact that we don’t womanize women as much as you think we do… 🙂
As far as the lip issue with Becky, PERHAPS BB got the transgender houseguest wrong and it’s actually Becky and not Audrey. Maybe that will be revealed as a twist later in the season. As for other theories, I’m assuming God just spent too much time on her boobs that he was running out of time when constructing her face and glanced over it before she was sent out of the cooker…
Thanks for reading. And commenting! I love interaction with my readers so keep it coming.
Ah, I did have some one liners that popped into my head, but somehow it seemed way too intimidating to turn them into paragraphs…next time I will try to be brave and send them along! Though disclaimer – while I think I’m hilarious others may not agree… (as you can see I am also a fan of the ‘…’)
Don’t be scared @Cndgirl, send those thoughts on over! Like I said, even if they’re one-liners, I’ll throw them in the recap and we can tag team that moment in the show! 🙂
There are times when I think I’m not funny, either, but you’d be surprised. I’m always surprised at who finds what funny and what isn’t funny. A lot of the stuff that I write that I think is HILARIOUS, people never mention or comment on being funny…such is life!
Do the dental insurance companies have a hotline set up so people can change their dentist from the BB rock ‘n roll dentist and Cupcake from Bachelorette?