I’m Back.
Those are the two best words ever spoken in the history of my lifetime.
Say-er of said words: Michael Jordan.
I’m not calling myself the Michael Jordan of Big Brother blogging, but it’s fitting. I feel like Big Brother is going to give rebirth to me as a blogger after the terrible season of Survivor we had to sit through – and I had to blog about for what seemed like 209 weeks.
Anyway, I’m sitting down with my new best friend, Jeremiah Weed. And lemonade. Let’s see what this season of Big Brother has in store for us. For all of those new to the blog, welcome. For all of those returning, thank you for thinking enough of me and a-hole demeanor to come back and put up with my sh*t once again, for 75 days (I think that’s how long they’re in the house for…), I appreciate you reading.
We start off the show with my all-time favorite (very sarcastic) reality TV host, Julie Chen, in some ugly red jumpsuit. I’m not sure who tells women that these jumpsuits look good on you. They don’t. Don’t wear them. Ever. Case in point: Julie Chen is wearing one.
And, f*ck me, did she just call these returning houseguests “four of the best of all time?” I know you’re trying to hype up CBS’ idiotic decision to CONTINUE bringing back old, played-out houseguests, but do you really need to call Britney, Dan, and Janelle some of the best players of all time? Maybe Mike Boogie can be considered one of the best players to play, but Britney sucked and got played in her season by an obvious play that either of my 10 year old nieces would have seen coming. Dan only won because he was on a season with Jerry and other idiots just like him. And Janelle may have won the most competitions over the course of one season, but she translated those 4 HOH wins and 5 Power of Veto’s into, what, nothing?!? Not even second place.
Crap, I forgot it was on. I haven’t watched TV in so long, summer TV sucks. I am a huge Russell fan on Survivor, but not his family. They are not Russell. I was about done watching Survivor when his season started. He breathed life back into it. Looking forward to Big Brother, since I missed the first one. Also, I typed a whole comment out and the site said I posted too fast.??? And had to start over. I almost didn’t. So I hope I don’t post twice.
It’s great to have you back Scott 🙂 Loyal follower of your blog for both Survivor and Big Brother.
Couple comments – Agree that Britney being included is SO random and calling her a “legend” is a huge joke. I must say though, I completely disagree with what you’ve been saying about Jodi being fat. All my roommate and I could think as we watched the episode was “Poor girl, she got cursed with SUCH an unfortunate body type”. Trust me, that girl works out. She’s got freakishly skinny legs, she just got stuck with an unfortunate “Humpty-Dumpty” body. Sorry, not to be annoying, just thought I’d just help my fellow woman out a bit 🙂 A lot of times it’s laziness, THAT is genetics.
To be perfectly honest, although your blog makes me chuckle, you can be a bit of a downer sometimes (think happy thoughts, this season, k? :D) . That being said, I LOVE when you talk strategy. Being a crazy CRAZY devout Survivor/Big Brother fan (been watching every season of Survivor since 2001, when I was only 11). I thoroughly enjoy and appreciate your insight, mainly because I tend to disagree with you. You always have a good case for your opinions and it’s highly entertaining for me because I would usually go in a completely different direction. Which brings me to this question (if you feel like responding or just as a general suggestion in your blog):
Could you elaborate on what you think the Coaches twist will do in terms of strategy this season? Some things I’d be curious to hear your insights on are for example: What do you think would happen if one of the contestants wants to eliminate someone in their own team? (does the coach have a say, would the coach ever threaten to sabbatoge the other disloyal player?) I guess what confuses me is it’s as if they’re playing on a “team”, yet not really… there will be plenty of times I’m sure that it would be in a contestant’s best interest to vote out “one of their own”. Or do you think the best strategy will be Team Alliances (like Britney and Boogie’s team aligning)?
I disagree about a few things (suprised? afterall I am your wife!)- I like the returning houseguests idea. I love it being a mentor thing because then we really are not cheering for the mentors (what if we hate their team?). I love Janelle, she is actually one of my favorites, but I have to say I am sort of rooting for Britney’s team. Atleast for now. Seems like her picks make the most sense.
I mean c’mon Dan? Really REALLY?
As your wife and knowing your sarcasm(did I really say this?)- I do not think you are being a downer, because if you are going to be sarcastic, you can’t really post about something nice. Sarcasm and nice things don’t really do together. It is all for laughs.
If I can keep that in mind while reading this (you know talking about sleeping with Dan’s wife and all), your faithful readers should too. 🙂
Welcome back.
Dear stina2bina,
I know I can be perceived as a downer from time to time, but it’s really just my form of sarcastic banter. I try and edge the line as much as I can without sounding too harsh with things, but sometimes I just can’t prevent it. But, just know I am aware of this and do everything in my power not to come off as a dump, because I know not everybody wants to read that.
As for calling Jodi “fat,” I don’t believe I ever did that! 🙂 I did call her doughy, which is completely different. I, myself, am doughy, but just in a skinny persons’ body. So, I was not trying to call her out for being fat or anything, and don’t need any repercussions thrown my way by righteous womens’ groups! 🙂 I know most of my readers are women, so I try my best not to outright bash them…I am a genius, after all, remember?!?
Lastly, I didn’t talk much strategy only because it’s the first episode and there isn’t much strategy involved yet. As the season progresses, trust me, I’ll delve into strategy and how I think these people can win. I’d also like to throw out that you are ALWAYS wrong then, if you are always disagreeing with me! I’ve won every Big Brother season since I started watching (from home, of course) with my incredibly well-crafted strategies.
Thank you for the comment, though, and keep reading…and ask anything you want, I don’t mind answering!
And, thank you to my beautiful wife for putting up with me when I talk about having I-hate-your-husband-sex with other women! I Love You.
Great to have you back Scott. I enjoyed your recap and am looking forward to your views as the season progresses. I’m not sure if I like the mentor idea yet, but will have to see how it all plays out. From things I’ve heard going on with the live feeds- there is drama already brewing. Already looking forward to your next recap- thanks for making me laugh with your comments. By the way- as a woman, you are very lucky to have such an understanding wife 🙂 LOL
Love how you respond to every comment, Scott! 🙂
The “downer” reference wasn’t at all about your sarcastic approach to the contestants or individual events. It’s just referencing your “This season SUUUUUUCKS” rants that have happened in the past Big Brother/Survivor. People are idiots on this show, so please, continue to have fun with that 🙂 It’s just harder to want to continue even watching a show when your recaps are constantly tell us it’s a waste of time. That’s all I mean. This post wasn’t an example.
And I know you didn’t use the word ‘fat’, but let’s be honest, you were kinda implying it. I’m just saying, I believe she very well does run marathons. As for my comment regarding the Coaches twist, I’m just trying to think about how this will change the landscape of the game and wondering if you had any sort of predictions for the big picture and if there will be more team-based alliances. Because ya, obviously, nothing’s really happened yet, but I like predicting.
Lastly, I dunno, I think my strategic mind could give you run for your money 😉 … Maybe it’s because I’m a woman, so I put more weight on how social manipulation could be utilized, but there’s definitely a reason why I honestly, 100% believe that if I went on Survivor I would win 🙂 lol
stina, if you watched last season of Survivor, you KNOW it SUUUUUUUUUUUCKED, so try and imagine having to write a blog about that and be entertaining! It’s quite hard and I do admit to not being as good, that’s why I’m coming back with a vengeance this season, in my Big Brother blog! So, that is why I’m saying to pass this blog along, because it’s going to be EPIC!
As for strategy talk, I will save that for my blogs, so as no to waste such poignant thoughts I may stumble upon in the comments section. Consider your question my first “Reader Question” of the season and I’ll answer it in next Monday’s blog. You’re welcome.
If I thought Jodi was fat, I would have to reconsider what I considered skinny! But, I get where you are coming from. Point taken, received, processed, and agreed upon.
Fine, you can win Survivor, because I’m never going on that show anyway. You still won’t beat me in Big Brother. Unless you’re walking around the house naked with a bunch of horny teenagers, I’m not losing Big Brother! 🙂
Glad you’re back brother in law 🙂
Anyways, here are my comments.
I love when old houseguests return..my favorite on any reality show, but not sure if I like this coaching. I think it would be better if they couldn’t talk to other coaches or something. I like Brit’s team the best right now too, but love Janelle and as a woman, DO consider her to be one of the best on BB ever. She’s hilarious and good at comps, which I would suck at!! I don’t like her team, but rooting for them anyway because I love her!
I can’t wait for more blogs and episodes!! And for the day when we both get to be on Big Brother!! haha 🙂
P.S. I am pissed about Drew. He was one of my favorite houseguests ever!!!
Glad you’re back Scott! Great recap. I totally agree with you–either just have a freaking All Stars season or have all new people. And enough recycling these Hantz relatives already. I’m waiting for 100 year old Great Grandma Hantz to show up on one of these shows next. Get over it CBS.
Wow such harsh words for Dan!?!
Welcome back, Scott.
I’m actually looking forward to this season of Big Brother, primarily because Rachel is NOT one of the coaches (as it could be argued that she has been one of the “best” players – i.e., successful despite her personality)!
I despise that whining, sniveling, narcissistic, ignorant beyotch! I actually read somewhere that she was supposed to be one of the coaches but that she found out about a particular “twist” planned for the program, so was disqualified. I say thank the Flying Spaghetti Monster for that!
I’m okay with the whole coach thing only because they’re not competing for the main prize. It will be very interesting to see whether the coaches will be effective in swaying their team members to do their bidding to ensure their own win.
It just may turn out to be a fun summer of BB viewing.
@FanofSteve nice reference to The Flying Spaghetti Monster..haha.
Well Scott you called it, Willie couldn’t hold his secret in. They rarely can.
Oh – as much as it would have sucked having to listen to Rachel all summer – I could totally see her as a better candidate than Brittany – it just seems like she’s more on Janelle’s level than Brittany is.
Rachel annoyes the hell out of me (“oh my God Brendon this and Brendon that”) but I kinda was waiting for her to walk through the door when they were talking about “legends” and all. Hate on Rachel all you want but the girl knows how to play this game.
If they were dead set on doing the all-stars (which I dont care for at all) they should have paired up Evil Dick against Boogie and Janelle against Rachel. Now that might be entertaining, even though I about overdosed on Rachel on TAR.