Anyway, Joe spoke up inside the meeting and I actually gained some respect for the Juggler. Good for him for saying what he felt in front of everyone and not being like everyone else who clapped, cheered, and agreed with everything R.I.B. said, only to later go sh*t all over his words to their coach. Joe said he thought Willie was playing the game too fast, assuming too much was going to happen (the coaches coming into the game), and basing his game play off of things that weren’t even happening or things he didn’t even know were happening or not (people only listening to their coach).
Oh, and Wil With One L wants to take a 24 hour break from talking game. Willie, later, “mocked” his comment in front of Frank and Britney. Freakshow turned into Jeffrey from The Glass House and immediately was offended by Willie doing this, because, you know, Frank and Wil are buddies from back in the day! Seriously, though, maybe Willie’s comment was off-colored by one step on the color spectrum, but in no way was he making himself out to be a homophobe. Hell, I have made some “gay” jokes in this blog worse than what Willie did and I would punch the first person who called me a homophobe right in their face. I lived in Boystown for a year, while I was in the cusp of my “have-sex-with-women” phase, as a senior in college. It’s not like I could have approached a girl at school and been like, “Hey, why don’t you come back to my place in Boystown and we can have a drink and maybe have some butt sex.” Let’s all “have a chill pill” as my two year old would say and not go overboard because some “straight” male raised his voice into a higher pitch than it normally is set in and repeats a comment that a gay man once said. Yes, that is mocking, but it’s not like it’s a hate crime.
Baby balls Frank went and told Joe the second after Juggles told him that Willie wanted the votes to be split, so that it wouldn’t look too bad on him and Frank wouldn’t come after him (or his teammates) the following week, if he won HOH. Why Frank got so upset about this I don’t know, but way to get Willie back by making him out to be a gay-hater. Who is the loser in this scenario? Willie was just playing the game and made a comment to his team about an option they had to split the votes, you turned that into trying to make everyone thinks he hates gay people, tit-for-tat, I think not.
Of course, after Willie finds out about this betrayal, he doesn’t go and puke like he said he would. Instead, he gets pissed off at Frank because he wants to eat his Fruit Loops in peace. From there, things get out of hand and Willie tells Kara that he hopes she stays because Frank is a “piece of sh*t.” Willie not only wants to eat Fruit Loops, he wants to be Fruit Loops. Because he is insane. Looped in the brain. As I’m reading back this paragraph, I’m thinking I’m looped in the brain right now with how tired I am. I’m really just trying to bang this blog out so I can go watch Burn Notice and go to sleep two hours after I should have gone to sleep. Dammit, Frank, can’t I just drink my Jeremiah Weed, write my blog, and watch Burn Notice without having to write about this stupidity going on between you and Willie? Appreesh.
After all that, Chenbot comes back and talks to the houseguests before they all vote. As always, anything revolving around Julie Chen is the most useless portion of the episode. She asks the houseguests for one word answers on how the first week was in the house. Have you not been watching, Julie? These people are probably slightly retarded, so asking them to answer a question with a one word answer may seem somewhat difficult and, well, downright impossible to do, actually. As I think this, here goes Wil With One L with his one word answer, “Oh Goodness.” Oh goodness, I just called an openly gay guy possibly slightly retarded. I’m probably a homophobe who doesn’t eat Fruit Loops because I’m too worried people will think I’m gay because the word “Fruit” is in the title. As that happens and we move on, we go to Ashley, the Penn State alumni (well, actually, we don’t know if she graduated – personally, I doubt it, but who knows) with her one word answer, “Loosey Goosey.” I don’t think either of those are even considered words or not, but still, she went for a two-worded answer. Even R.I.B. couldn’t keep it to one word. He rifled through an entire paragraph. Couldn’t you have just let him say “Crazy” and moved on, Julie? Did we need more from him? Really, did we?
Oh, and doesn’t JoJo remind you of Fran Drescher? She let off a laugh during that live segment and I swear it was Fran, from her Friends’ days. JoJo’s hotness just dropped a bunch.
Anyway, the vote happens, and Kara is voted out. What do you know, the pretty girl goes early again! It happens in all CBS reality shows, I swear. It has to be some sort of conspiracy. All the talk about getting out a threat wasn’t existent in the house this early, because you know why, THE COACHES! Everyone was talking about how they needed to get the coach out of the game! These people are all idiots. But, as I always say, you can’t play the game, you have to play the people you are playing against, in Big Brother. And, if they’re all idiots, it’s ok to act like an idiot and vote like an idiot this early in the game. But, when Frank is sitting in one of those final two chairs at the end of this season, nobody can say they didn’t have a chance to extinguish that early.
One thing I will say in praise for CBS is that I like the addition of the tweets being shown on the screen. “I vote to evict mike boogie’s hat.” Classic.
Oh, and Shane and his stupid VT fingers proved his Summer Eve-ness again, with his goodbye message to Kara. “I’m going to miss those legs.” What a douche. Funny thing is that he can probably get away with saying something like that to someone like Kara. If Ian or Joe had said it, instead of smiling in a blushing manner, she would have definitely made an ugly face and rolled her eyes. What can you do? Pretty people get all the privileges in life.
Next, we were shown the BB TV Breaking News scenes, where the houseguests were woken up several times in the middle of the night to show them some video of a burglar inside the Big Brother house. This was an obvious set up for the next HOH competition. I think the coaches caught on to this at one point, because they started not even getting up towards the end of the night (or, start of the morning, I should say).
At the HOH competition, Julie asked the houseguests questions regarding the videos they watched, and we all kind of knew how this was going to end. Big Brother Karma somehow always seems to happen once or twice a season. Willie got on Frank, Frank didn’t snap back, CBS appreesh’d his calmness, so why not swing an HOH competition his way. My favorite scene was how Willie didn’t even bother to a) get up or b) look at Frank when he gave him the key! Classic R.I.B. in that move right there. Come on, Willie, I understand you’re upset, but don’t let it be shown like that. You already seem like you’re giving up. You were never going to win this game, but I don’t think you were meant to go out second. Well, let me change that, you actually are the perfect victim for the second eviction. I’m sure he’s already packed.
Lastly, Julie tells the coaches and players that the coaches are going to have the opportunity to take advantage of a new power this week. If they win the coaches challenge, they will have the option to either save one of their players or trade one of their players for anyone in the house, other than the HOH. Personally, I like the twist, but I also think none of the coaches will use it to trade their players. Although, if I’m Dan, I’m trading Please Wear Makeup for Shane 100%. He has no other option at this point. If he truly wants to live up to his Renegade status, Season Champ status, he needs to win that competition and trade for Shane. Danielle loves Shane, so I’m sure there wouldn’t be any hard feelings. Hell, Danielle probably wants off his team, anyway, seeing as how it seems the teams are going to be gunning to just get Dan out of the house. And, if he doesn’t make a trade, my guess is I will get my wish and Dan will be on his way out the Big Brother house alongside Danielle next week!! Can’t wait.
Ok, that’s it. This took me WAAAAAAAAAY longer than I thought, so I’m probably just going to bed. Thanks for reading. Appreesh.
Until Monday,
Written by:
Scott Ottersen
Email: ScottOttersen@yahoo.com
Facebook: http://facebook.com/ScottOttersen
Twitter: http://twitter.com/#!/ChokeOnMyBlog
“and Frank treated that slot as if it was JoJo’s “slot” and he wanted nothing to do with making his money shot.” ahhahahahahaha! See, I laughed out loud instead of lol 😉
As for the missing two weeks, I think she was count back from the total number of weeks on the show 12 or 13? So she’s saying with only 11 people left (and there is usually a double eviction week, so 10) that there was 2 weeks missing in the season. I might have my numbers slightly off, but that’s what I got out of it.
I think on the next eviction week you should double your jeremiah weed….its the only way to make it through sometimes!
Great column!
Ok I’m sorry, but as a 22-year-old who’s been maneuvering around the dating world for a few years now, I gotta ask – Please elaborate on the difference between a dick and a douche… I’m intrigued. 🙂
I dunno, I feel like there is a decent chance any of the coaches would trade players for Shane, not just Dan. I think it could be an interesting twist. I’m really curious if Willie can get himself out of the hole he dug for himself. Should be an interesting week!
ALSO, I know this is a stupid question, but my roommate wants to know: Were those burglar scenes filmed before they even entered in the house? A different night? That night?
@stina, the best advice I can give you about the difference between a dick and a douche is to be a lesbian.
No, in all honesty, it’s hard to tell the difference between a dick and a douche, but it’s just something you can see in a guy after getting to know him. I can’t write rules down and have that be the end all, be all. If I could, I’d be a millionaire, making love connections and preventing women all over the world from wasting their times with the dickfaces they are currently dating. The best I can offer you is to just ask your guy friends what they think and tell them to be honest…
As for the burglar, they were in the house when they taped those scenes. They were on backyard lockdown when the burglar went through the house.
i think a dick is someone who is an all out jackass and its just basically his personality…however a douche is gonna be more of someone who will change his personality to get ahead for the moment.
SIGNED
Scott, you will give yourself an aneurysm if you keep being amazed at the level of stoopid (players, coaches, network execs)
Heres what I think–when interviewing potential houseguests, they administer an IQ test. If they pass, theyre shown the exit door If they just fail, they get set up to look like the geniuses of the show and if they fail miserably, they are given a production staff of 3-one to write cue cards for them, one to help them pronounce the words on the cue card, and one to be around and point out where the bathroom, DR, and outside doors are.
Shane falls into the last category of contestant – I hope the rocker chick hides his tweezers so we can see him flip out using all the one syllable words that he can pronounce on the cue card that will be written for him. I have a feeling the spray-tanologist will come out looking like the genius and win. And this grand idea of coaches…what a pathetic attempt at ratings grab.
@godmudda….LMAO…..DITTO!!
Oh….and I forgot…..Signed!
@ALLWOMEN a “dick” is a guy who is a bit of a jerk and will annoy you on many occasions, but still loves you and wants you to be happy. Although, he might/WILL put his feelings ahead of yours. A “Douchebag,” or “Tool” is a guy who will do whatever it takes to manipulate a girl into doing whatever he wants with no thoughts of the emotional repercussions. A “Douche” is one tiny step below pimp.
Now onto this season. I thought the coaches “twist” was great, at first. But after watching the 1st few episodes, it’s completely lost me. I kinda like the idea, but it would be better if they lived in their own “Coacha Cabana”(Tm pending) and could only interact with their players in the Diary Room, the HOH, or the one competition they actually matter.
I loved your comment about how they are stealing ABC’s tactic of recycling Bachelor/ette contestants. I thought the same thing when CBS was trying to sue ABC over Glass House. ABC should’ve countered that CBS has been stealing their idea of using past “participants.” Of course, MTV could’ve sued everyone in that case.
Liked your blogs last year. This year, not so much. Not sure if its the material that you have to work with is much worse or your trying too hard. But, don’t try so hard. When you’re more natural, it’s funnier.
@lucky,
I would like to hear more about why you dislike this years blog compared to last year. I can promise you that I am not “trying” too hard. Making fun of these idiots comes naturally to me. I know my style is not for everyone, but if you liked me last year, I would like to know what it is I am not providing you so far this year. Am I not coming through on the sexist, a-hole side of things?
Holy cr@p, Willie Hantz has been booted from Big Brother!
Apparently he went psycho after Janelle won the coach competition and assigned him & the rest of Britney’s team as Have-Nots.
Word is that Willie then barged into the HOH room and claimed that he was going to get himself turfed from the show, then threw indecent insults at several people (including calling Janelle the c-word), tossed pork rinds at Janelle, kicked a door or two, then indulged in some gratuitous personal violence (apparently head-butting Joe more than once), and was finally escorted from the BB premises/off the show. Wow – he’s done his family proud, hasn’t he?
Yeah, I have read about the Willie incident and heard the rumors. I want to see what CBS shows us tomorrow night.
I hope they show the entire meltdown if what I’m reading is true!
I saw a theory that the coaches reenter the game once all their players are gone. If that’s true, it could actually be an interesting twist once revealed. It would shake up the house and alliances because none of the players would be able to trust their own coach.