I remember telling you I’d probably be drunk for my birthday blog, but it just didn’t turn out that way. So, I figured I’d make it up to you and write this one a tad bit tipsy. I’m not full blown wasted or anything; I don’t even think I’d consider myself drunk, but I did have a couple vodka and sprite’s about an hour or two ago, so I’d imagine some liquor is still in my system. I do know that when I stand up to walk, I feel it, so I will just go ahead and consider this my make-up blog for when I didn’t drink on my actual birthday. Another thing I will note is that I should probably watch the show while drunk, because I care less. I truly can say I don’t give a damn about what happened on tonight’s show, I’m not upset at anything, I just don’t care. Maybe that is the answer to all of life’s problems, right? I think I’m on to something here. You might see me with a drink, or four, in my hand each night from here on out, until the day I die of liver failure at the age of 43. I always thought I would die of some sort of cancer at 47, so what is four years, right?!? To vodka and sprite, I dedicate this one to you. And, to my friend Ferro, I dedicate this to you for leaving your vodka at my house, after my last party! Your Ketel One went down smooth, sir. There is still some left, so if you still wanted it, come claim it now, because it may not last the week (remember, I’m unemployed). Yes, my friend’s name is Ferro.
We backtrack back to the beginning of the HOH competition for tonight’s episode. We must have traveled into some other dimension as we went on our journey, because Jenn apparently believes she’s a big target now because she made some major move in the game. Jenn, trust me, nobody even noticed you as you took Dan off of the block and Frank nominated Britney for eviction at that Veto ceremony. You were just some broken up lesbionic pawn in Dan’s game of Big Brother chess. Nobody has you down as a target. Nobody would vote for you to win the game. Just give it up. You made a good run at it, ok? You were on television for about a total of 48 seconds this season, so bask in that and we’ll all bask in the fact that you didn’t do sh*t this entire season until someone got disqualified from a competition, you somehow won it after that, and then got yourself talked into doing something “major.” See, you didn’t make a major move, someone told you to do it, and you followed suit. A major move would have been NOT using that veto, having everyone vote out Dan, and then telling Frank that it was the correct move to make. That would have been your major move you could have sold to the jury if you happened to make it to the final 2, alongside Frank. But, now since you are just a follower of the not-so-bright Frank, you both shall be walking out of that door in the very near future. Thanks for (not) playing.
Just like how Jenn is delusional, Ian is, as well. See, Ian, it was not Frank that was to blame for Britney walking out of that door. Does Ian not remember how badly Frank wanted Dan out of the house this entire season? Then, Dan hosts a lame funeral, goes and talks to Frank for a few minutes on their own, then Jenn goes and uses the Veto on Dan, and somehow Frank is to blame for all of this? Sure, Frank may have VERY stupidly (and cockfully – is that a term for cockiness???) pointed his nomination speech at Ian, but still it was not Frank who wanted Britney out, or who even used the Veto, so just the fact that he wants him out so badly reaks of incorrect vengeance.
Back at the HOH competition, Joe takes all of 2 minutes to find himself parked on the chair alongside Frank. And, Jenn follows suit 3 minutes after Joe. Good choice of ally, Frank. I know you didn’t have much of a choice in the matter, but ouch. At this point, if I were Frank, I would have just walked out of the backyard, poured myself a drink, and drank myself to my own real Big Brother funeral, because it’s a done deal that Frank is going home this week, after Joe and Jenn dropped (unless he wins Veto).
Right before the live eviction, Ian approached Dan and told him that he wants the Quack Pack to reunite. I know people get annoyed with how much I bring up production interfering, but how does this not reek of it? Why would Ian need Dan? He still has Shane and Danielle, who can easily just team up with against Dan, since he sold them out just a few days ago! He can rally up loser Joe for a vote, if he needs it, or just talk to Shane, who will tell him that he has Joe in his pocket. So, all that is left is Dan, Frank, and Jenn. Or, maybe if I’m Ian, I tell Dan we can work together, but treat him the same way he is treating them, as expendable, and really just tell him they’ll team up together in case he wins HOH. But once he doesn’t win HOH, see ya, buddy!! I just don’t get why Ian would want to reconcile with the man who just sold him out and got his biggest ally sent home? It makes zero sense to me. Why not just go and team up with Frank then, who would easily be talked into sending Dan packing! I know the house can screw with your minds, but I just didn’t understand this move. Along with that, this is why Dan wins. It has NOTHING to do with Dan being good at this game. It just has everything to do with the fact that the rest of the people in the house are just plain stupid! Every year, we play the game where people think it’s smarter to get the likes of Ashley, or Jenn, or Joe, or worthless floaters out of the game before viable threats to win in the end, like Dan. Yes, maybe Dan has a hand in manipulating his way into their good graces, but I just truly believe he wins because he’s just one lucky son of a b*tch! I wish I had Dan’s luck, because I’d be a millionaire by now.
After we see that discussion go down, we see Dan exit the competition in third place. I’m sure he was hurting at this point in the competition, but I’m also sure he figured he was 100% safe with Ian and Shane being the only two left in the competition. Neither one of them were going to nominate Dan, and he knew it. So, why stand on that platform, swinging from a rope, when you can jump down, go get a drink, dry off, and grab a quick bite to eat while you watched the other two hash out which one was going to nominate Frank and Jenn this week. Geez, can we just fast forward to the end of the show to see the nominations already. I wish, in weeks like these, when EVERYONE in America knew who was getting nominated, that they would just have the nominations occur midway through the episode and play the Veto right then and there!! I hate having to wait until Wednesday now to see what is going to happen (I say this for all the people who are going to actually wait – for me, I am quite certain a few of you are going to be kind enough to send me an email or tweet and let me know who won Veto and what happened after that, thanks).
Well, luck is when preparation meets opportunity….he may be an @sshole, but it’s not too different than Boogies run. I know you’ll think I’m just arguing with you, but production intervened a number of times with Frank and Boogie and not much of a stink was kicked up about that…Boogie didn’t win any competitions either (except for money and no one was against him in that!). Also, Boogie getting Janelle out and the conversations that preceeded were a very lucky hapinstance, or production interfered (you know, cause production must be present with all major strategy 🙂 ) The only real difference is Boogie choose to stay loyal to one or two (but still gave props to Ian when he found out what he did) and he’s a lot funnier so it cushions the blow a bit, but I imagine many think to Boogie as a cocky @sshole too. Oh yeah, and now Boogie is gone, so there is that.
Don’t get me wrong, I loved Boogie, (and Dr. Will) and I’m kind of not sure of Dan, he has showed some real fundamental bad person behaviour a few times, just really cold, and i agree that if you swear on those kinds of things its pretty horrible to the next day with barely a blink to go back on your word, but I honestly think Boogie and Dan’s games are not night and day. More like night and later that night.
Ultimately though, I can’t believe Ian is blaming Frank – he is NOT kaiser soze. As soon as Dan started his funeral, I said “no f’in way, what a bunch of manipulative b.s.” and did not buy any of it (and that way confirmed with Dans diary room) and COULD NOT BELIEVE NOT ONE PERSON seriously doubted it. Shane mentioned the right thing, but obviously didn’t really believe it as he cried and did nothing to stop it. I mean if they believed all that, and this week Dan is back in the quak pack, he honestly deserves to win.
Your last “Dan is an @sshole” that you couldn’t remember why is probably when he talked about how he screwed the quack pack over last week, got Brit voted out, Ian’s best pal, and now he’s part of the quack pack again and how his rise from the dead was now complete. I’d say that sentiment makes sense to think here.
Ian is blaming Frank and not Dan for hurting his game (removing Brittney) becaus he is blidnded by his super-fan desire of wanting to be known for something in BB History. Specifically he wants to be known as the mastermind and founder of the QP. Seriously, on the live feeds he has made comments to himself and to others acting as if he was the one who came up with the group and pulled them together to work as one.
In reality we know that isn’t the case. It was Britney/Shane and Dan/Danielle realizing they needed to work together since Boogie/Janelle hadn’t lost anybody and Ian happend to walk in their lap as they were hammering out a final 4. It was Dan and Britney’s idea and Ian only supplied the name which he must have had prepared ebfore coming on the show since I’ve never seen someone jump so fast to name a group or even to want to name a group in BB.
He foolishly believes the QP is his legacy and he so desperately wants it to succeed that he is completely overlooking Dan’s hand in the last eviction.
Well Scott, slightly hammered or not, ya nailed it.
I wish putting back some vodka before I watch the show would help the entertainment value, but I know that watching or listening to Joe for more than 5 seconds would bring out the heaves.
How sad is it that the only thing that makes this show more interesting for those paying for the live feeds is 2 guys (that leave a lot to be desired physically) constantly gratifying themselves–uh oh–here come the heaves…
Couldnt agree more about Dan being a floater. Hasnt won squat, his entire social game consists of being seen reading the bible and the best luck in the world to get stuck in a house with the vapid and clueless. Can you imagine if Dan tried to get himself off the block trying to sell that story to Boogie instead of Frank. Boogie would have been in the DR seconds after Dan left him, make a pretend call to Dr Wil about the convo he just had with this dumba$$, and proceed to laugh himself into a seizure.
I do miss Brit and her DR sessions. She had some great lines and zingers that broke up the monotony. Maybe I will start pounding back the vodka before shows–and just keep the garbage can handy
Dozenz that makes perfect sense. I now totally get why Ian still wants to hang on to QP. Dumb, but I get it.
Dan’s a first-rate a$$hole, but that’s okay because he knows it and has used it to an enormous advantage. I can handle that.
Ian’s pathetic (and he doesn’t know it), and I’m now agreeing with Scott that Ian falls somewhere along the autistic spectrum. It’s the rocking. And rocking. And rocking. And rocking. I can handle that, too.
Joe isn’t in the game to win; he’s in the game to get a show on the Food Network. Good luck with that, Joe. Especially when everyone knows you don’t wash your hands after using the bathroom, or after picking zits on your back, or after picking at your face, or after stroking that weird thing hanging under your bottom lip – UG! But I can handle that.
Jenn thinks she’s a player (too little, too late) and talks about how “mature” she is. Too bad she acts like a 20-yr-old rocker “wannabe” rather than the 37-yr-old “never-was” she really is. But I can handle that.
Shane started off physically strong but has lost his edge. Also, he’s clueless. And his hot-and-cold “showmance” with Danielle is simply embarrassing. But I can handle that.
Frank was a shoe-in to win until he decided to trust Dan. Frank, Frank, Frank. Boogie is crying copious tears of anger and frustration into his beer! But, yes, I can even handle that.
The one person I can NOT handle is Danielle! STFU you stupid little twit! Stop slobbering all over Shane – you look and sound like a 10-yr-old swooning over Justin Bieber! Get your freaking lies straight: Are you a nurse? A charge nurse? An Emergency Room nurse? A physician’s assistant? A med-school student (highly unlikely)? Or are you just a whiny little airhead who still thinks her “worth” is somehow all wrapped up in her former-beauty-queen persona? That’s why I HATE “Toddlers & Tiaras” – Danielle said that her parents and (much older) siblings put her in beauty pageants when she was just a baby.
To Danielle’s family: What were you thinking?! You’ve created a perpetually immature, extremely needy crybaby who can’t stop talking about how she looks, constantly harping about what other people (whether houseguests or audience members) are thinking about her butt, her body, her skin, her weight …. Aughhhhhhh! (<— See Lucy, from Peanuts). I can't take it anymore!
Phew! That feels better.
And all I had was a single glass of wine!
Still loving your recaps, Scott! Now, drink lots and lots of water, take a couple of aspirin, and go to bed.
I don’t want to argue with you but wasn’t Boogie a floater on your terms. Never winning anything? I don’t think you have to win comps to be a strong player. Boogie didn’t, and Dan chooses not to. Well that’s what he says, who knows if he would actually win or not. I don’t really like Dan all that much but how he saved himself was brilliant. You might not see it that way, but he is still in the house and other “strong” players aren’t. I think what pulls Dan apart is he tells he strategy in the DR and others have no clue, Jenn is the ultimate floater. At least Joe had to fight for his life earlier in the game because he was such a huge target! Love your recaps, keep up the good work!
Have you seen the video of Danielle acting completely bat sh*t crazy staring at herself in the mirror making faces?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U0nSQuEzzr0