Big Brother Recap – 9/14/15

So…yet another Sunday night episode where we’re clearing up who wins HoH. And the only real observation I have to make from the comp is that yes, John, your resume does look terrible on paper. And when spoken out loud. You have won some Veto’s, yes, but for whatever reason, the jury never cares much about people who have won ONLY Veto’s…it’s all about having that HoH key around your neck all week, and several other weeks throughout the season. You’ve won zero, so sure, start winning them now…

…which, of course he doesn’t as Vanessa pulls out the win over him by a narrow margin. Now, even though we’ve all felt as if Vanessa had to choose sides many other weeks throughout the season, THIS week she’s definitely going to have to choose sides as there are only two sides left, with her pointing out every so weirdly that she’s up against two showmances and she’s the fifth wheel in the house. Funny how she feels that way when she also feels as if she’s running things (which she is). And the whole point I’ve been making ever since I looked it up last Thursday night and saw that she won was that if she was stupid enough to keep Liz, there’s no way she’s putting her up. That would defeat the purpose of keeping her. If she was going to get rid of Liz, it was going to be to give herself a better chance at winning an HoH, but in actuality she didn’t really care too much about winning the HoH because she felt safe no matter who won because she felt everyone else would go after the other couple in the house. To make the crazy dumb decision to keep Liz over Julia only to put her up right after winning the following HoH would make absolutely no sense to whatever strategy she isn’t telling us she has. And, in my opinion, she’s one of those people who doesn’t tell people what they’re doing while they’re doing it because they don’t even have any idea why they’re doing it. They just get to the end result, think about the best way to say why they did what they did and then use that as their strategy. She doesn’t have a clear strategy. She’s much too paranoid to have a clear strategy worked out in her head. If she had a strategy and was so confident in what she was doing was working, she wouldn’t be so paranoid WHEN SHE WAS IN POWER! So, please don’t buy into her bullsh!t about how she knows what she’s doing. Sure she’s playing a pretty decent game, but in all honesty, her game is really only going so perfectly because a) production is helping her and b) the rest of these idiots are complete f*cking IDIOTS! Put her in a game with people who can use their brain to think and eyes to see, and she’d be found out in one half of a millisecond and would be one of the first few out…

I think I’m going to continue laughing about Liz’s “she likes girls” comment. That was hilarious. I’d have to imagine that even as a lesbian, girls still hate other girls as much as straight girls do…nice try, Liz. However, chances are good that you’re not going anywhere. Even after she puts up John and Steve, which we all know she’s going to do, and one of them wins the Veto, I guarantee she puts up Austin.

And here we go with her paranoia running rampant. Man, I don’t know how her girlfriend puts up with this if she’s like this with every decision she needs to make. Dinner every night is probably a presidential debate, like “Well, I didn’t appreciate how your left eyebrow twitched after you sneezed after I said we could have lasagna.” Or, “there was a full moon the last time we had Chinese food and you wanted to watch that one comedy with Vince Vaughn, and about 30 minutes in, the movie started skipping, and then since I wasn’t distracted at that very minute, I remembered something that made me cry, and you didn’t put your arm around me right away, and I never want to feel pain like that again so please don’t ever say you want to have Chinese food for dinner again or I’ll grab all 7 of those kitchen knives over there and slice our wall up something nasty…”

This woman is truly something else. She finds any and every reason to be mad at someone else so that SHE isn’t the bad person, even though she IS the bad person because she’s making these people have these conversations so that she can catch them in some little white lie that’s not even a lie or IS a lie about another lie, and then gets mad at them so that she doesn’t have to be the bad person for nominating them. But it’s not even just in this game, I guarantee she does this in real life and this is why people think that she’s smart or whatever, when in reality it just makes her manipulative and/or gets people to the point where they just give up arguing with her and let her have whatever it is she wants. Sure it may be effective, but it has to be exhausting. Vanessa’s going to be one of those 40 year old women who look like they’re 75.

The best part of this whole scene was with John, and her getting mad at something SHE told him to do, with making a deal with Austin! And here we have it with a perfect example of why she has no clear strategy in this game and is just winging it and then doesn’t even remember things that she’s doing. And I’m sure after she leaves the house, she’ll say that it was her strategy to pretend like she didn’t remember saying things, but that she did and just wanted the others to give in to her and leave the power in her hands. Look, truth is that nobody wants to deal with a crazy person. You do and say everything you have to in order to get them out of your way so that you don’t get stabbed in the eye. Still, though, someone in the house needed to be that person that stood up to her and just got crazy eyed with her, yelled in her face and told her that SHE is the one full of sh!t. The only way to combat crazy is with crazy and apparently nobody else in the house was this kind of crazy outside of Audrey and she went home much too soon. I feel as if Audrey would have called her out on her bullsh!t at some point, but everyone else thought Audrey was crazy too, so it wouldn’t have mattered much. Still, though, someone needs to stand up to Vanessa and tell her that she’s full of it and that they don’t need to explain themselves to her one bit. Everyone is playing the game and doing everything they can to stay in the game, not make sure YOU are still in the game…

Line of the night goes to Vanessa with, “my instincts are good and I feel something shady is going on.” Vanessa, let me reintroduce you to the game you’re playing. It’s called BIG BROTHER!!!!!!!!! Of course something shady is going on. You’re making deals with every single person in the house, so wouldn’t you assume that every other person is doing the exact same thing. Again, stop looking for reasons to justify putting people on the block and justify it by you wanting to win $500,000! You have to understand that every person in this house does NOT want you to win. They want to win. So what if Austin tells John that he’ll keep him safe next week. You told John, Steve, Austin, and Liz they would all be safe next week. So what does that make you? Geez…I just can’t. This wine needs to kick in already because I can’t deal with her anymore…

So, if she’s not already being ridiculous enough, she talks to Steve about how John hasn’t won anything and that if he makes it to the final 3 or final 4 or whatever, he won’t take her with her and that’s the reason she needs to get him out! UM, WHAT?!?!?!?!?!? Can Steve just learn to argue here, please. Can I jump into Steve’s body for just one f*cking second to punch her in the face with reality?! That’s the EXACT reason WHY you keep him! He hasn’t won sh!t and will continue NOT winning sh!t! That’s why you should have kept Julia, as well, and got rid of Liz. Now guess what, Liz is gone, and this week you would have gotten rid of Austin, and the final four would have been you, Steve, John, and Julia. The only person who MAY have wanted to go against you in that foursome is Julia, and you KNOW she’s not winning anything. Steve is the only one who might win out of those 4 and he’s going to take you and would get rid of Julia 100%. In fact, that might be the first HoH in Big Brother history that doesn’t have a winner and they just let you remain HoH and put up two more nominees. I just don’t understand why you want to get rid of losers who have a proven track record of being losers losing at everything and keep those who have won three or four HoHs and whatever. Also, you make all this talk about how Steve and John are a showmance. HELLO……………………..they’re not gay. They’re not attached to each other. There is absolutely NO CHANCE that either Austin or Liz take you to the final two. At least with John or Steve you could talk to them and give them reasons as to why they should take you, but with Liztin, you have no chance. They’re practically married at this point, so I’m just not understanding why you think telling Steve and John that they’re a twosome that can’t be broken is the reason you need to break them up would work….oh wait, they’re both morons…ok, go ahead, continue…

And see this is where I digress about poker players. Look, I have no doubt in my mind that poker IS a skill, HOWEVER, 95% of it is luck. These are people who make a living at making dumb decisions and just hoping that other people don’t call their bluffs. To me, that’s luck. The whole crap about reading people is ridiculous. You don’t sit at a table and read a person and then know that they got this card or that card. Sure, some people are completely obvious about it, but for the most part, it’s all luck. If it were a true skill, the same “great” person would win every single tournament he was in. It would be like golf or tennis where every single tournament would have the same final 4 or 5 players, but it doesn’t and new people win every single year because, guess what, THEY GOT F*CKING LUCKY more than you did! This is just her buying into her own hype that she can be as risky as she wants to be. And you know what, since she’s a “successful” poker player, it means that she’s lucky in life most of the time, so I bet she skates through next week somehow and then wins HoH again, and somehow ends up with everything falling into her lap going into final 2 and just wins it all. And she’ll think that she played some masterful game, but in reality, it was just dumb luck. She was paired up with a bunch of idiots who never called her out on her bullcrappy, let her talk them into doing things they didn’t want to do and eventually winning the money. Ugh…poker players annoy the crap out of me with all their lies about it being a skill. It’s not a skill to be dealt pocket aces and ace/king and then get aces or kings on the flop…go to hell, that’s all luck! And yes, this is coming from someone that plays poker and NEVER gets dealt pocket aces, but when he does, no ace comes out and the other guy goes all in with pocket kings with the other 2 kings being dealt…don’t tell me it’s skill…

Oh man, if it wasn’t already bad enough to have to deal with Vanessa for the entire hour, now we have to put up with Frankie Grande again?!? Listen, the first half of last season, I liked Frankie. He was probably one of my favorites on the show, but then his true identity came out and that all just went to sh@t. So, I’m not going to waste any more of my time complaining and ruining your day by having to put up with my misery having to watch this crap. Just know that I wouldn’t have considered that a luxury prize. That would have been torture. Although I would have LOVED to see Steve win that and then take John with him!!!

Fast forward to nominations and surprise, surprise, what a shock, Vanessa put up John and Steve, the two guys nobody in the jury is going to vote for to win! Congrats on sucking at life, Vanessa. Although, I will say this…kudos to Vanessa at the same time. I just wish she was saying that she wanted to take the biggest competition and most deserving people to the finals with her. But since she’s not, I can’t give her too much kudos, but this is what we ask for every season. Nobody likes seeing floaters make it to the end. We always want to see the best people make it to the end, and of the people that are left, Vanessa, Liz, and Austin would be those three. Steve and John are just also-ran’s this season. Neither of them deserve to win the money. Steve would probably just give the money to his mom and awkwardly cry about it as he handed her the check. And John would probably waste the money on buying every package of Big League Chew or something stupid like that. Plus, dentists make CRAZY amounts of money, so he doesn’t really need it…although I guess neither does Vanessa…but oh well, what do I care, I only have a few more blogs to do and then these people are out of my life…

I got some football to watch, so good night…

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