BIG BROTHER – 8/8/11

Written by:
Scott Ottersen
Email: ScottOttersen@yahoo.com
Facebook: http://facebook.com/ScottOttersen

Before I get started, I wanted to help explain the mix-up with Friday’s blog. Apparently, Yahoo email is retarded (and I say that with no offense meant to mentally disabled people) and decided to erase half of my email I sent to Reality Steve, with my blog attached in it. I sent it to be uploaded, read it over right before I hit Send, and then I sat back and watched as everyone told me only half of my blog was posted. So, I hope all of you checked back the next day, because the rest of it was posted. If you didn’t, go back and read that one again. I apologize and won’t let it happen again.

As for last night’s episode, I wanted to get something out of the way first. My wife has commented on how I’ve become more boring in my recaps. I am not going to argue with her, but just take it as a criticism I can use to do better. I think that I’ve been doing quite well with what I’ve been given (seriously, the people in this house SUCK), but I guess I’m going to have to take it upon myself to do even better, be more hilarious, and just hope that she comes back around…for the sake of our marriage.

Anyways, onto the episode. Enough about my personal life.

We start off the show with Daniele making comments about Rachel being next, which gets me thinking that it would be a funny thought that if Brendon were the one voted back into the house by America, he’d have to fight Rachel for a spot in the house. I’m not sure exactly how the game is going to go, but I think I would enjoy it if it were some sort of contest where the two opponents didn’t know who they were up against. This way, we wouldn’t be bored by Brendon just showing us his hairless vagina by not being man enough to just face his girlfriend and letting Rachel win by default. This is why I hope everyone is voting for Cassi. As for all of those people who emailed me about how they were bored by all of my Cassi talk, I hate to break it to you, but if she comes back in the house, I’m going to be EVEN WORSE!!! I may even dedicate an entire blog to her. No, just kidding, but don’t think that I will just stop talking about her altogether. That is ridiculous.

We get a montage of some houseguests talking about how Kalia was the worst possible person to win HOH this week. But, I happen to think this is the perfect week for her to win it, because with the evicted houseguest having the chance to win their way back in the house, her HOH week is pretty much null and void. She doesn’t even get to evict who she wants, because they could possibly get back in the house. If that person loses the contest, then it’s not so bad for her, but she has to worry the entire week about that person coming back into the game, so them being upset about this is actually pointless. But, for the time being, in the moments after the HOH competition, I can understand why they’d be upset. I know it would never be fun to know you are going to be nominated, and possibly going home, but what can you do? That is part of Big Brother. Suck it up, boys and girls, remember what everyone always says about this being “just a game.”

More Rachel crying. I can’t tell you how I won’t miss these moments. I am 100% positive that she is faking her crying and that is why she has the covers over her head. Porsche comes in the room, first, to console her and when she pulls her head out of the blanket, her eyes aren’t even red. Someone making that much noise while balling their eyes out would have puffy eyes and redness underneath. Rachel’s face had neither sign of hard crying. Just another reason to believe she’s all fake and putting on an act for the cameras. Jordan comes in the room to talk some sense into her and brings up the point I was thinking about since Thursday, with the new twist allowing the evicted houseguest the opportunity to win themselves back into the game. So, being nominated, and possibly evicted this week isn’t something you should be crying over a week before it happens. So much can happen in the Big Brother house within a week, so people crying about someone they don’t like winning HOH is dumb. Straighten up, think it out, and go talk your way into not being nominated. Be a strategist. This is what upsets me the most in the house, nobody works through strategy in their mind. It seems as if Jeff does to an extent, but the way he talks to people just makes me think that he either comes up with horrible strategy or he just gets angry with people to the point where he drops his strategy and starts taking things personal.

After Porsche leaves the room, and Jeff enters, they (Jeff, Jordan, and Rachel) discuss how Porsche is not to be trusted. I believe Porsche when she says she didn’t mean to put Jeff and Shelly (her alliance members) against each other in the HOH competition, therefore helping Kalia win it, but that is no excuse. Porsche is an idiot. She probably still counts to ten by counting on her fingers (and probably can’t even make it to ten because she only learned up to eight), so I highly doubt she did that on purpose. But, the fact of the matter is still that she screwed them over and she’s now on the outs, even though they still need her to be on their side. If Porsche goes over to the other alliance (Dani & Kalia), they only get stronger and the vets are looking less and less likely to remain in this game unless one of them wins HOH.

Maybe I don’t understand this phenomenon because I’m a man, but I’m with Jeff in saying that it’s weird when grown-ups cry the way Kalia did about missing her mom. I can understand if her mom was no longer alive and they surprised her with a picture of her or something like that, but she won HOH and knew she was going to see a picture of her. It’s just a picture and you’ve only been away for 5 weeks. I’m sure you were away from your mom for longer when you were in college, or even still now with your work and nightlife (which probably consists of you staring at couples in night clubs and bars for your ‘work’ in your relationship column). Maybe it’s a woman thing and her emotions were running high from being in that house and all up hopped up on Rachel-crazy. I’m not making fun of her for it, I’m just saying it’s weird to me and makes me uncomfortable to be around. I don’t like women crying in front of me. I react like a frightened turtle (Seinfeld reference for all you Seinfeld-heads – God that makes me think about how great a Celebrity Big Brother edition would be with a bunch of TV actors coming into the house and playing the game as their most famous TV characters while in the house. No way that doesn’t happen without George Costanza, Lewis Kiniski [yes, a Drew Carey reference], Max Geuvara [I never watched this show, but Jessica Alba NEEDS to be in that house]).

Back to regular Big Brother here; Rachel is the first to go and speak with Kalia. I loved Daniele’s face during this sequence. I have to believe something else happened between Rachel and Daniele. Those two had to have spoken more than what I’ve seen or heard about, because Daniele had a look on her face as if she just found out Rachel peed in her Mountain Dew and gave her Osteoporosis. After Daniele left, Rachel told Kalia that she now respects her in the game and as a competitor. Apparently, the ultimate floater tag has been lifted and Kalia is now a competitor. Whereas that is partly true, since she did win an HOH and make a stand by joining alliance with Daniele, I think of Kalia as a floater. Not an ultimate floater, but still a floater. It all depends on what she does after this, but I think it’s ridiculous of Rachel to say she now respects her just because she won an HOH. I think I understand what Rachel means, because in pro sports, you do gain more respect after winning a Championship, but it’s different inside the Big Brother house when all you do is answer two questions faster than your stupid opponents, who leave their hands down by the side of the podium.

Kalia said something interesting that reminded me of Evel Dick. She said that nobody would expect her to work with Rachel in the Big Brother game and that may be exactly why she should work with her. This is exactly how Evel Dick won his season, by telling people that nobody would expect them to be working with him, which was the perfect reason to work with him. That earned him $500,000. If Kalia was smart, she’d pull big stunts like that and work with those who everyone expected her to not work with and evict out of the house. I agree with her that Rachel may not be the safest choice to trust, but trusting the untrustworthy is all a part of winning Big Brother. Kalia, add yourself to the list of people who won’t win Big Brother this season. That list is growing by the second and just about everyone is on it, so that just means anyone can win this season. I love talking in circles. Almost as much as I enjoy the thought of Jessica Alba being in the Big Brother house and having 24/7 access to watching her sleep and shower! Hey, you said to stop the Cassi talk, so I guess I’m just going to have to get more creative, aren’t I?