I always feel awkward starting off my blog by going right into my recap, but I don’t really have any funny stories to tell right now, so I guess I really have no choice, right? I think more people need to email me questions and maybe I can start off my blogs by answering your questions (non-game or game-related, I don’t care).
Anyway, the show starts off by showing us more of Willie’s speech at the Nomination Ceremony, telling us that he feels bad about nominating who he nominated, but every week someone’s got to go up! And, Boogie puts on a straight face and tries to act tough by telling us that he’s not one to be lied to and Willie made a huge mistake! I’m crapping my pants as I type this. Well, literally, I am crapping my pants, but that’s only because I had some coffee. Not because Mike Boogie scared the doo-doo bird out of me!!
Oh great, Dan yells his lines into the camera, again! Seriously, does anybody else not feel as if their diary room speeches are written for them? Even later in the show, with Janelle, I felt as if she was reading something. And, their eyes are always focused on somewhere else in the room, usually right underneath the camera. Either these people are just plain too stupid to even understand the context of talking or they just don’t say any interesting-enough sh*t that the great minds over at CBS have to write it for them.
Wait, did we just get to see Jenn on camera…saying something?!? We did. Did we need to? No.
Frank and Willie have a discussion where Willie tells Frank that he nominated him more because of Boogie than anything else. He’s worried that Boogie and Dan are coming after him, so he had to nominate their players. And, here is why the returning houseguests’ as coaches idea is stupid. Because it’s getting people nominated!! If the coach is the reason the player is getting nominated, there is something wrong with the game. That’s true in every sport. Well, not the “nomination” aspect, but if the coach is causing the game to be played differently than it should because the players dislike the coaches, then that should tell you (CBS) that your idea was ridiculously ridiculous. Congratulations on screwing up another season with your stupidity. Just let new people in the house and stop pretending your ABC and you’re doing The Bachelor/Bachelorette and all anybody wants to see are previous “stars.” Anyway, Frank goes on to tell Willie that he wants to work with him in spite of Boogie being his coach and that if he stays, he’s going to make sure that Boogie isn’t an issue and doesn’t go after Willie. It would seem at this point that Kara is Willie’s target to get out. Always the pretty girls first, right?
“and Frank treated that slot as if it was JoJo’s “slot” and he wanted nothing to do with making his money shot.” ahhahahahahaha! See, I laughed out loud instead of lol 😉
As for the missing two weeks, I think she was count back from the total number of weeks on the show 12 or 13? So she’s saying with only 11 people left (and there is usually a double eviction week, so 10) that there was 2 weeks missing in the season. I might have my numbers slightly off, but that’s what I got out of it.
I think on the next eviction week you should double your jeremiah weed….its the only way to make it through sometimes!
Great column!
Ok I’m sorry, but as a 22-year-old who’s been maneuvering around the dating world for a few years now, I gotta ask – Please elaborate on the difference between a dick and a douche… I’m intrigued. 🙂
I dunno, I feel like there is a decent chance any of the coaches would trade players for Shane, not just Dan. I think it could be an interesting twist. I’m really curious if Willie can get himself out of the hole he dug for himself. Should be an interesting week!
ALSO, I know this is a stupid question, but my roommate wants to know: Were those burglar scenes filmed before they even entered in the house? A different night? That night?
@stina, the best advice I can give you about the difference between a dick and a douche is to be a lesbian.
No, in all honesty, it’s hard to tell the difference between a dick and a douche, but it’s just something you can see in a guy after getting to know him. I can’t write rules down and have that be the end all, be all. If I could, I’d be a millionaire, making love connections and preventing women all over the world from wasting their times with the dickfaces they are currently dating. The best I can offer you is to just ask your guy friends what they think and tell them to be honest…
As for the burglar, they were in the house when they taped those scenes. They were on backyard lockdown when the burglar went through the house.
i think a dick is someone who is an all out jackass and its just basically his personality…however a douche is gonna be more of someone who will change his personality to get ahead for the moment.
SIGNED
Scott, you will give yourself an aneurysm if you keep being amazed at the level of stoopid (players, coaches, network execs)
Heres what I think–when interviewing potential houseguests, they administer an IQ test. If they pass, theyre shown the exit door If they just fail, they get set up to look like the geniuses of the show and if they fail miserably, they are given a production staff of 3-one to write cue cards for them, one to help them pronounce the words on the cue card, and one to be around and point out where the bathroom, DR, and outside doors are.
Shane falls into the last category of contestant – I hope the rocker chick hides his tweezers so we can see him flip out using all the one syllable words that he can pronounce on the cue card that will be written for him. I have a feeling the spray-tanologist will come out looking like the genius and win. And this grand idea of coaches…what a pathetic attempt at ratings grab.
@godmudda….LMAO…..DITTO!!
Oh….and I forgot…..Signed!
@ALLWOMEN a “dick” is a guy who is a bit of a jerk and will annoy you on many occasions, but still loves you and wants you to be happy. Although, he might/WILL put his feelings ahead of yours. A “Douchebag,” or “Tool” is a guy who will do whatever it takes to manipulate a girl into doing whatever he wants with no thoughts of the emotional repercussions. A “Douche” is one tiny step below pimp.
Now onto this season. I thought the coaches “twist” was great, at first. But after watching the 1st few episodes, it’s completely lost me. I kinda like the idea, but it would be better if they lived in their own “Coacha Cabana”(Tm pending) and could only interact with their players in the Diary Room, the HOH, or the one competition they actually matter.
I loved your comment about how they are stealing ABC’s tactic of recycling Bachelor/ette contestants. I thought the same thing when CBS was trying to sue ABC over Glass House. ABC should’ve countered that CBS has been stealing their idea of using past “participants.” Of course, MTV could’ve sued everyone in that case.
Liked your blogs last year. This year, not so much. Not sure if its the material that you have to work with is much worse or your trying too hard. But, don’t try so hard. When you’re more natural, it’s funnier.
@lucky,
I would like to hear more about why you dislike this years blog compared to last year. I can promise you that I am not “trying” too hard. Making fun of these idiots comes naturally to me. I know my style is not for everyone, but if you liked me last year, I would like to know what it is I am not providing you so far this year. Am I not coming through on the sexist, a-hole side of things?
Holy cr@p, Willie Hantz has been booted from Big Brother!
Apparently he went psycho after Janelle won the coach competition and assigned him & the rest of Britney’s team as Have-Nots.
Word is that Willie then barged into the HOH room and claimed that he was going to get himself turfed from the show, then threw indecent insults at several people (including calling Janelle the c-word), tossed pork rinds at Janelle, kicked a door or two, then indulged in some gratuitous personal violence (apparently head-butting Joe more than once), and was finally escorted from the BB premises/off the show. Wow – he’s done his family proud, hasn’t he?
Yeah, I have read about the Willie incident and heard the rumors. I want to see what CBS shows us tomorrow night.
I hope they show the entire meltdown if what I’m reading is true!
I saw a theory that the coaches reenter the game once all their players are gone. If that’s true, it could actually be an interesting twist once revealed. It would shake up the house and alliances because none of the players would be able to trust their own coach.