Big Brother Recap – 8/10/15

Ok I lied, there’s one more noteworthy thing, and that’s the whole Vanessa getting ticked off at James about Clay telling her that he’s in Shelli’s head and targeting Bobcat. Are you confused? I’m definitely confused. That whole fight thing was just plain stupid and the only reason it happened was due to the paranoia of one person…Vanessa. She’s just too interested in blowing up people’s games, isn’t she?!? Does she not understand that Audrey became a massive target in the house for doing the same thing that she’s doing on, what seems to be, a daily basis? She’s involved in just about everyone’s beef – the only difference is that she’s been smart enough to be in power each week and she could make sure that person ended up going home. Now that she’s not in power, she should probably do her best to lay a little bit lower and not start some major dustups in the house! It doesn’t prove anything to these other people in the house that you proved Clay, the guy who was going home that night, a liar. It just made you come off more crazy and insane, and someone that doesn’t seem on-the-level and someone a person would want to work with in the future. Because, you know, they’d have to worry about you yelling at them in a house with very thin walls about a lie you told. Let’s just get this straight, Vanessa, you do know you’re playing Big Brother, right? The whole point of the game is to lie to people. You go along with what other people are saying as long as they’re saying someone else is the target or someone else is the bad guy. You don’t call them out on it and ask them if they have something against you personally. Of course they don’t. They have something against you financially. As in they want you to go away so that they can win $500,000. Stop trying to make everyone want you to be their best friend and realize that some people are going to lie behind your backs. It’s not personal, it’s game play. They won’t even mean the thing they’re saying, most likely, they’re just trying to stay alive in the game or help someone else do so. Geesh.

Best part about it, and how you know she’s Level Unicorn’s-Are-Real paranoid, was “you’re gay lovers or related.” She just thinks there is always another side to every story, like how she couldn’t believe that Bobcat came up with the “story” and he was just backing up Clay. So, of course they’re either gay or related because of that. Not that it’s true or anything. Because Bobcat would most definitely want to throw himself into that fight and have you yell at him for something he didn’t do…wow!

Oh hey ya’ll, Shelli’s crying again. Anyone else tired of this scene? Maybe this has something to do with why I’m not so amped up about this season. Enough with Shelli crying, ok? There’s other people in the house. I’d rather watch Austin do some more of those arm dips in between two chairs at the kitchen table, as James talks about farting into girls’ mouths back in Awshucksetville or wherever he’s from. I was going to make a joke about how I hope she likes that her tears are falling onto the boobs that Clay’s chin was caressing a few days ago but after Shelli openly talked about Clay (and her???) visiting Meg in New York, I guess I can eat my words from last week that Shelli won’t ever allow him to visit her. Although, I still stand by the fact she won’t let him go visit her. Saying it is one thing, but then actually allowing your man to do it is another. You know she’s just saying Clay can visit her so that she seems like the nice girlfriend who would allow her man to hang out with whoever he wanted, but she’s also hoping that he does the “right” thing and doesn’t go after all. Don’t do it, Clay. Your relationship will never be the same…unless of course, Shelli’s into the whole guy on girl on girl thing. Then you definitely go to New York and visit Meg with Shelli.

Speaking of words not meaning much…Shelli dropped this gem on us: “I don’t cry over dudes.” RIGHT. B!tch, please. I’d go on a rant about all the things that you DO cry over, but this is too played out at this point. Everyone in that house and all of America has seen you cry over that dude several hundred times already, so you’re not fooling anyone with that crap.

Becky talks about how she wants to put up Shelli and Steve so that it seems as if they’re still sticking to Vanessa’s plan from last week that they’d still target the remaining Clelli member, but in actuality she wants to get rid of Vanessa this week as a backdoor plan. And of course the rest of the group does the smart thing and agrees to go along with the plan. They’re supposedly all working together, but who really knows at this point since none of them want to make alliances or anything like that. They’ll just jump from one idea and one team to the next each week depending on who wins HoH and Veto. Sounds like a sound plan.

Another great one-liner dropped on us. This time it comes from Becky when she threw out the “I’ve worked Black Friday, I know how to deal with Vanessa.” Of course, it doesn’t truly make sense, but it’s still fricken hilarious. Nowadays, Black Friday doesn’t really exist, it’s more like Black Thursday (Thanksgiving) Night That Leaks Into Friday Morning, But If You Shop On Friday Morning All The Good Deals Are Gone Already And The Store Is Just Empty And Sad And You’re Realizing That Your Life Has Come To This, You In A Walmart At 2:30 In The Morning, Looking To Get A Copy Of Paul Blart Mall Cop 2 On Sale For $3.99. Still funny, though, Becky. I got a good chuckle out of that. Although, Vanessa most definitely doesn’t shop in stores on any day, let alone Black Friday. That chick most definitely orders everything online and has herself an Amazon Prime membership to have everything shipped for free.

As much of a nerd I think Steve is, I have to say I can relate to him about being weird. Of course, I’m the “cool” kind of weird, but still very weird all the same. I also talk to myself, but in this day and age with bluetooth, I feel as if less people find that awkward. I have full-fledged conversations in my car, with the windows down, at red lights and will just put on that face that people have when they’re on the phone with someone and it’s on speaker. I talk to inanimate objects like doors and walls and toys. I don’t dance around awkwardly or stroke cucumbers when I know cameras are pointed at me, but to each his own. I feel as if they should have a scene like that for a certain houseguest, each episode, just so they become someone to us outside of the player in the game we see.

Annnnnnnnnnnnnddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd………..Shelli’s crying again!!!! But this time she’s crying to Becky. I don’t know if any of you watch Teen Mom, but Shelli’s like the Farrah of Big Brother. Farrah has THE worst crying face that’s ever been known to man. Shelli’s crying face isn’t terrible, but her voice kind of reminds me of Farrah’s when she’s about to start crying and so then she shuts down what she was about to say in order to not make her cry. Shelli does that same thing. She’ll feel the cry coming, her voice will crack, her eyes will squint a bit, but then she veers off track and immediately is done crying. Some people might think she’s faking it, but I just think she’s a veteran crier and she knows to shut it down and how to do so. We’re onto you Shelli. Or maybe I’m just turning into Vanessa thinking I know what everyone else means with the things they’re doing and saying and not just taking it for what it is…