You’re going to have to excuse me for this blog because I’m feeling a little pissy today. Like, 14 year old girl who wants to have sex for the first time but her period won’t end type pissy.
Anyway, the episode starts off with what is becoming the norm this season, and that’s someone exaggerating their worth in the game with the overstatement of the century, which James gives us with his “Since day 1, I’ve been known as a heavy hitter.” Is that right, James? You win the first HoH by some weird tiebreaker, your foot touched the ground last because you’re a midget, get out some straggler that nobody knows or cares about, win just about nothing else, perform like crap in just about every other competition, can’t even throw a comp correctly, and you’re a “heavy hitter?” Is that what constitutes a heavy hitter in Big Brother? If that’s the case, than Victoria from last season may just be the heaviest hitter Big Brother has ever seen! Let’s calm down on that talk for now, buddy. Sure, you’re making a semi-big move this week, but no matter who you get out at this point, it’s a semi-big move, so congratulations on another overstatement with all the “big move” talk.
Speaking of pissy, Shelli’s crying again. What for this time, you ask? Does it matter, really? She’s crying over Clay, and being nominated with her “ride or die.” That phrase coming out of Shelli’s mouth just doesn’t fit, but I guess CBS is asking us to accept it as real life, so we all must do so. All this talk about how she doesn’t know how she’ll manage in the house without him like it’s 100% certain that he’s the one going home, yet all she keeps crying about is how she’s the bigger target and is probably going home this week. Either way, she’s right about one thing and that is that they’ll be split up and I’m not sure there are many people in the world too broken up about that fact. They’re probably the most boring showmance in Big Brother history, so let’s get the old hag out and let Clay start messing around with someone in the house who will actually let him bang her on camera!
After the nomination ceremony, Shelli was very upset and the only person she wanted to talk to or be by was Clay. Big shocker there. She gave Vanessa the stink eye and walked right past her as she was trying to console her and let her know that she’s going to be there for her this week. Of course, in the Big Brother house, nobody really means that kind of stuff, but you still accept it as the civil thing to do as a human being, but Shelli wanted no part of it and just brushed her off, which of course made Vanessa all pissy and huffing off in angst.
Clay has a little dust-up with James about how his word means nothing, but momma bear comes out of the woods to pull her baby away by the neck hair so that he doesn’t get himself shot by the hunter’s arrow. They go lie in bed together and try and figure out why they’re the ones being targeted for a move that Vanessa orchestrated. They don’t understand why the nominations aren’t Vanessa and Austin, or the twins. They don’t see how they can be threats in the game and just keep on believing that each week should be played where you get out the person who wronged someone the week before. Maybe they don’t understand they’re playing Big Brother, and she’s won a few HoHs and been close to winning others, and is involved in a showmance that gives her additional power in the game, always having a guaranteed vote and someone else playing for her in competitions. Yes, why are you being targeted, Shelli? I can’t figure this one out, either. It must be because Vanessa has a deal with James. Must be. Can’t have anything to do with the game as a whole at all…
Vanessa walks in to break up their non-romance time and proceeds to call out Shelli about why she’s being such a b!tch to her. I’ll break this one down real easy for you, Vanessa. It’s because Shelli’s a woman. And when women don’t get what they want, they become b!tches. Ok, that may sound a lot more harsh than the way I mean it, but even you girls have to admit it’s partially true – and would especially be true when playing a game for $500,000 and some other b!tch seems to be messing up your game and also may be responsible for breaking up your budding romance. See where I’m going there? Ok great, don’t hate me too much. Anyway, in typical girl fashion, Vanessa doesn’t get the apology she’s looking for and decides to storm off, stretching and clenching her fingers as she does just so everyone who can see her understands she’s pissed right now.
The only reasonable part of the discussion that Clelli had was that they need to talk to James and pretty much tell him whatever they need to at this point. If I were them, I would have come up with a better plan than “we’ll just say whatever we need to,” but whatever works for you in your quest for half a million. They head on over to talk to him and tell him that they’ve always been loyal to him and always will be. That’s what you’re going to go with? Well, I guess they should since James, Jackie, Meg, and Becky all seem to be oblivious to the fact that Clelli has been working with Vanessa, Austin, and the twins all season long, so maybe they can get away with the whole “I’ve been loyal to you all along” argument. I’m pretty certain James isn’t going to buy that now, though. Good effort, though. Let’s reconvene after the Veto and try something different, ok?
And awww, how cute, Shelli and Vanessa make up with each other. How does Shelli go about getting back in her good graces? YOU GUESSED IT – she cried!!! Goodness me, I can’t imagine the toll this game is taking on Shelli – or at least I hope it’s the game that is doing this to her, because if she cries this much in real life, I’m surprised she’s not locked up in some looney bin right now. She’s probably at the grocery store trying to decide which watermelon is ripest, feels a few, checks for brown spots on a couple, has her eye on two separate ones, only needs the one, pushes the other aside as she tearfully says goodbye to it, and places the one she’s going to buy in her cart. And to make matters worse, she’s crying about how she shouldn’t have just given away the HoH to make that God awful deal she made. UHHHHHHH….you think?!? That may end up being the difference between you winning this game and spending the rest of the summer at home watching the show.
Steve – barely on the show at this point. I don’t remember seeing or hearing from him until the vote. I agree that Becky threw the challenge. I think Clay regretting his decision to ask to be voted out will happen within days. I was surprised that it was their first kiss as I had assumed that they were taking care of business off camera in the bathroom all summer. I was really hoping that Shelli’s farewell message would have been “Sorry Clay. You were just a showmance. I’m here to win, not find a boyfriend.” Prediction – Based on Bobcat’s vote saying it was a crazy day, Sunday’s episode will show different times during the day where Clay went around and convinced everyone to vote him out.