Big Brother Recap – 7/3/15

Jeff and Clay both tried approaching her and apologizing, but she saw right through it. But, like I said, she has to understand that they’re not going to be truthful in their apologies (most people outside the Big Brother house aren’t being truthful when they apologize). They’re playing the game and she needs to start thinking inside the game and not letting simple things like this bother her. I like Da’Vonne (so far) and think that she can go far in this game because she seems to have a good brain in her head and catches on to schemes quick, but she needs to cool the attitude a little. Although, I will say that I got a good laugh out of her eye roll to the camera as she was hugging Clay (or Jeff, or both, can’t remember). She’s entertainment gold, so she’ll probably stick around for a bit since the house does like to get out physical threats this early in the game.

And we got a quick glimpse into the crazy that is Audrey. She’s upstairs telling Da’Vonne to compose herself and to not let anyone see her crying about this issue. But then goes right downstairs and tells Clay, the town idiot, that she’s upstairs crying about their fight and then allows him to go right back upstairs like Da’Vonne wouldn’t know you said something to him about going back upstairs to console her more. Da’Vonne caught onto that quick and loses a bit of trust in Audrey, who can’t be trusted to even know whether or not she has a penis or vagina.

After all that drama, we walk ourselves into the Veto competition, which is the world-famous spelling competition. If I was ever in this comp and felt I was safe from going home, I’d throw up a ‘technotronics’ just as an ode to Jeff! That’s still one of the best moments in Big Brother history.

The comps are usually the worst part of the show to recap because nobody cares about what’s happening during the comp, but the only thing I had to question is when James was talking about Steve and saying how worried he was that Steve was smart and could possibly beat him in the game. Why the hell would James be worried if Steve won? If anything, it’s better if Steve or Jackie wins, because you know that they’re going to take themselves off of the block, and you’ll have less blood on your hands with the backdoor option because you can always claim that you have to put someone else up because they took themselves down. And then about 45 seconds later, after Steve spelled “Trombonists,” James is back on the screen talking about how he’s ok with Steve winning now. Great editing done there by the Big Brother staff.

And, what’s up with Steve being able to find all of those letters, yet the rest of the group is out there only finding 5 or 6 letters for a word?

Also, Big Brother “superfans” are just crazy. I mean, how does Steve remember, and remember RIGHT AWAY, that Brendan holds the record for longest word spelled and what that word was (“understanding”)? I get it that you watch every season (as do I) and study it (as I don’t), but to remember everything from all the seasons is just nuts. I can remember some of the cast names and what they look like, but I guarantee I couldn’t even tell you what season they were on and who won the season they were on. But, to each their own. Kudos to the size of people’s brains. Mine has the capacity to hold about 4 minutes of information. If something happens longer than 5 minutes ago, forget asking me about it. Hence why I have to take detailed notes to even write these blogs, otherwise you guys would get 3 paragraphs of ALL digressions. And maybe a recap of something that happened two episodes ago because that’s all that’s stuck in my mind about the show. So…you’re welcome for doing all that I do!

And now, for our main event, fighting out of the intersection of bat sh!t crazy and incredibly awkward, Audrey Middleton!!! At five in the morning, it’s not exactly easy to be subtle. The lights are out but people are still awake in their beds, some even talking to other folks while you’re not-so-subtly walking around the beds to “snatch” the people you want to talk to. First up was Shelli, and on her way to get Shelli out of bed, she passes Jeff and Meg having a conversation and completely bypasses them and the small-talk they’re trying to make with her to snatch Shelli’s snatch and take her upstairs. This was all an effort to bring her into their alliance, hence making a strong SEVEN people now. And she did this without even consulting James, Jason, and the rest of the alliance.

After snatching Shelli, she goes back downstairs, awkwardly jogs across the kitchen area, and grabs Jeff for a quick moment. Jeff wants nothing to do with her as he’s in the middle of trying to either poke Meg’s snatch with or talk her out of murdering him on her mass killing spree after she leaves the house, possibly both. Then, after he gives in to Audrey and goes with her, she tells him that he needed to come or he would be on the block next week. Really, Audrey?!? You’re threatening people now? This is going a little overboard.

After that sketchy moment, she runs back downstairs to awkwardly jog across the kitchen area again to wake up the serial killer (something you should NEVER do) to bring her upstairs, as well. As if she couldn’t have just got all three of them at once! So now, more than half the house is in an alliance with each other. Perfect. Audrey just went full Devon. And you never go full Devon.

In the end, Audrey’s crazy and Steve uses the Veto on himself, which allows James to carry out his plan of putting Jace on the block for a possibly all-but-likely backdoor. And then Jace cries about it. I wasn’t expecting that reaction out of him, but that’s what he gave us! God bless the man for that. He was especially hurt to be crossed by his Clown Town buddy, James. It was Clown Town, right? That sounds right to me. But every man knows when a fake alliance member of yours crosses you in the game of Big Brother, you most definitely cry about it.

Also, KATHY GRIFFIN?!? Why? I mean, there’s not even a joke to tell here. Kathy Griffin IS the joke. I know she was on the show last year and is a big fan, but come on. Quite a reach on this one. What does she even have to do with Big Brother? Why wouldn’t CBS just bring back old houseguests each week to do this? I’m sure they’re paying these dumb celebs more money than they’d have to pay Jeff or Jordan to come do a Takeover. Jeff already works for CBS, so they could make him do it for free as part of his gig. Oh well…let’s see how it goes…

Oh, so how did it go…

…it went, all right! And definitely not how anyone saw it going! Or thought they’d see it going.