Big Brother Recap – 7/3/15

Let me start this blog off by letting everyone know that I’m a little intoxicated. BUT…I love writing my blog when I’m three-quarters in the bag. The only thing I DON’T like is the fact that it takes me twice the amount of time because I definitely have to hit the backspace button quite often more than I usually do. But hey…don’t judge me. Tonight was also my tenth straight day at work, which is an OSHA violation, but I’m trooping through it and watching this show at the same time. And then bringing this blog to you to help you through your day. Enjoy….

So…we start off with Julie telling us that someone is “secretly” playing the game with their twin. No sh!t, Julie! And how big of a damn secret is it if everyone who has the live feeds OR THE INTERNET knows who it is! Every single person in the BB universe knew it was Liz that had the twin. And her sister’s name is Julia, meaning the two of them together are JIZ. I apologize for my filthy mouth, but Big Brother set themselves up perfectly for that one.

Let’s get back into the game. We start where we left off and that’s with Jace and Jackie on the block. If you FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER, you would know I joked about how there are so many damn people with names that start with J’s this season. I joked they all need to start an alliance and name themselves BB Cool J’s. It was quite possibly the best tweet I’ve ever sent out other than Liz’s camel toe pic, but only 205 of you folks have seen it! And only 2 people liked it. I guess I’m not as funny as I thought. But…at least we’re getting rid of one of the J’s tonight.

And Jackie’s plan is to chill out the entire week. Wait…so your plan is to chill out the whole week, possibly just sunbathe with your tata’s hanging out and @ss cheeks dangling out of your bikini the entire week? Sooooooooooo….you’re basically saying your plan to not get voted out while on the block is to “play” the game the same exact way you’ve been “playing” it? Again, I don’t have the feeds, but I keep up with live feeds updates and Jackie is non-existent on them. She’s either taking 46 sh!ts a day or she’s just lying in one place the entire time as everyone else plays the game while she’s taking a vacation. Why they allow losers like her to play Big Brother, I’ll never understand. She’s pretty, but it’s not like she’s THAT pretty. But, cool your jets, Jackie. You wouldn’t go home even if you started queefing in everyone’s face while they were trying to eat.

Oh Jace! Were you even alive for Y2K? And by alive, I mean were you old enough to truly understand what the big deal was all about? A quick google search reminded me that you’re 23. Shut. Your. F*cking. Mouth. You were 8 (maybe) when Y2K was happening. You had no clue what people were even afraid would happen. I remember being in college and the University I attended having Y2K drills for staff members. We all laughed because Y2K would have happened while we were on Winter break, so what was the staff going to save at the school? But, let’s get back to Jace. The only #ThingWorseThanY2K is Jace. Period. Go home already.

After he got over the fact that the world didn’t end when he was 8 years old, he decided the best play to make was to confront the HOH, James, and call him a liar. Jace – has anyone told you that you’re a wonderful Big Brother player. I mean, seriously, you probably wouldn’t even win the Big Brother board game against a blind, 97 year old woman. Come on, Jace, you feel like your best move at this time is to confront the HOH and tell him that he’s lying to your face and telling him that the move he made is most definitely personal and not game play? James’ question is the perfect end to this: “Do you know what game this is?” No, James. He doesn’t.

So after that, Jace wanted to talk to anyone and everyone he could to just put it out there that he wanted them to save him. He should have known that his cards were already dealt to him when everyone just left the conversation and made up a reason as to why they were leaving. Of course, everyone BUT crazy @ss Audrey. She decided it was best to tell him that everyone in the house was in on the backdoor rim job Jace was receiving.

Jace tries to campaign but the only important piece of information we get from him is that he enjoys staring at Jackie’s tata’s. Which, as a man, of course I understand, but at the same time, if that’s all CBS is showing us from your campaign mission, we know your @ss is as good as gone.

Then Julie lets us know that the twin in the house is Liz. And her sister’s name is Julia. And they’ve switched places four times. And nobody suspects a thing. Yet, in the next scene, they show Audrey saying that she suspects someone is playing with a twin. And if you watch the feeds, you’ve seen/heard that a person or two have mentioned how they’ve had conversations with Liz that she doesn’t remember having that she should, seeing as how they had them just a few moments ago. This whole twin twist is stupid to me, because nobody in the house is going to mention to production that they believe Liz is a twin and that she’s been switching places with the twin throughout the game. I mean, did they even tell anyone in the house that if they feel something is out of place, they need to mention it before the fifth eviction? It just seems like it’s too easy for them to skate by until then. Nobody is going to go to production and say they feel there’s a twin in the house and that it’s Liz. I still don’t get why they didn’t tell them that there’s going to be a twist in the house that the houseguests need to guess and prove. Just seems like a cheap twist.

Also, they couldn’t let Liz and Julia change in different areas of the room? I know they’re twin sisters but still, they just have to watch each other as they change out of their clothes?!? And they only get 10-15 minutes to exchange information? I also thought at the first watch that they sounded completely different, but after watching it again, they do sound the same, so that won’t give it away. Julia has a slightly skinnier face, but I’m not sure people would know that in the house.

We move to the vote, and it’s a 12-1 vote for Jace to get the hell out. And Jace knew it. You can always tell by what the two people are wearing who expects to be staying and who knows they’re going home. And Jace, the long-haired Shia LaBeouf, knows he’s going home. The lone vote for Jackie was cast by Audrey. Not sure why she voted for Jackie, but as we found out from the exit interview, Jace felt Audrey was the person who gave him the vote. Not sure how that worked, but Audrey is damn crazy, so we don’t need to spend any more seconds on her frame of mind.

Also, let me just add that I thought Jace came off as genuine in his interview with Julie, and as a nice guy who just got wronged in the game, but before that he had to go and give a shout out to Frankie. Ugh, Frankie. Of all people? Does he even have a real job? You make YouTube videos, have a famous sister, and show up to any and every Big Brother event known to man – must be nice. Jace deserves to go just for that reason alone. As Da’vonne said it best, BAH (slang for bye)!

After he’s voted out and we head to the next portion of the show, the audio goes out and we see the houseguests talking, clapping, and running around yet we don’t hear anything except Julie saying “I have no programming in my ear.” We always thought Julie was a robot, but now we know for sure!! Caught your @ss, Julie! Also, please fix the audio or cut to commercial…

…and they cut to commercial. Thank God!

We come back to full audio. And Kathy Griffin. What a waste of however many minutes. This is what I said earlier – this show just wastes so much time on stupid stuff that we don’t need to see. Like we need five-plus minutes of Kathy plugging her upcoming show and telling us about what her twist is going to be. Just tell us real quick and get back to the show, Julie.

However, she lets us know that her Takeover is going to involve the twist of “Power of the Last Laugh.” What that consists of is that a phone is going to be placed in the house and she’s going to call it throughout the week and whoever answers the seventh call of the week is going to be given the power to keep three people from voting in the upcoming eviction vote. That’s a pretty crazy power to have. They get to keep any three players from voting in a game where three votes mean everything. They’re basically going to make it so whoever they want to go home will go home. But, will they use it for their own good or just do what the house wants them to do?

At the Head of Household competition, we get two different runs of the same game and without much action, Becky and Shelli both win the HoH for the week. Let me first say that Julie is the WORST LIVE event commentator. She would literally say “And Audrey’s doing well…and Shelli WINS.” And she’d do it with no enthusiasm or change of tone. Come on, Julie. At least let the Big Brother voice do the coverage. Also, really, Becky and Shelli?!? Who the hell saw that coming? I can’t be more shocked, to tell the truth. I know it was a puzzle competition and anyone can win it, but both Becky and Shelli winning was probably something no houseguest saw coming. Who will they put up? It’s up in the air at this point. Shelli is part of an alliance but I don’t think Becky is part of any “real” alliances, so what she does is truly a surprise.

So, on Sunday, we’ll find out who the nominees are and who wins the Battle of the Block to decide who remains the HoH and which nominees are in danger of going home.

I seriously can’t even guess who either will put up. Shelli would probably put up Da’Vonne because of the fight earlier, but who else she puts up is up in the air. As for Becky, no idea. I’m looking forward to seeing what happens.

And that’s all I got for you today. Remember…follow me on Twitter already. And stay tuned for next week where I have two major things dropping for you to watch outside of the two blogs I already write for the show. You won’t want to miss either one of them.

Until then…I hope everyone has a safe and eventful 4th of July weekend!!

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